


Nothing We Can't Handle

by onesillygoose1551



Series: Nothing We Can't Handle [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blowjobs, Bottom Sam, Cum Swallowing, Dry Humping, Fake Relationship, Feelings, First Time, Flirting, Homophobic Slurs, Incest, Jealous Dean, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Pining, Pre series, Protective Dean, Sibling Incest, Slow Build, Top Dean, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-25 05:30:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 45,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6182416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onesillygoose1551/pseuds/onesillygoose1551
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam has a crush at school, but he needs Dean's help. Dean can't help but wonder what he's gotten himself into.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Agreement

**Author's Note:**

> This will be posted in a few chapters. It's kind of long, so be warned. Enjoy!

Sam has just finished gym, and he has to be honest, it’s now simultaneously his least favorite and most favorite class of the day. Sam normally doesn’t mind the physical activity. All of his and Dean’s training had him running the fastest mile at the past five schools he was at. It’s the fact that he shares his gym class with a sophomore, Greg, who he just so happens to have a very obvious, very large crush on. He’s nice to Sam, always trying to make small talk, making sure Sam never feels like a complete outsider. And he’s extremely good looking. Jet black, slightly curly hair, and the most vibrant blue eyes Sam has ever seen.

 

Sam would’ve given up trying to catch his attention long ago, if he hadn’t been informed that Greg was also only interested in the male persuasion. Now he’s determined. He has tried to come up with plenty of ways to get the guy’s attention. He’s repeatedly tried to work up the courage to ask the guy out on dates, invite him over to study, or eat lunch with him, but he can never quite make himself do it. He’s even moved his gym locker closer to the guy (and not just so he could get a closer look when Greg undresses.) Nothing seems to be working out so far. In any case, Sam won’t be able to stand much more of his silent suffering.

 

He’s now sitting at a table by himself in the cafeteria. Another nameless school in another nameless town. Dad had promised them they’d only be here a little over month before they’d move on. But he’d also said it in the same tone he’d used when he’d promised he would be back in time for Christmas last year, and then hadn’t shown up until the day after New Year’s.

 

Now it was their second week in the school, and they haven’t even heard from their dad yet. And with the daily torture of watching Greg every day, he was starting to hate it here. He’s really hoping they’ll be out of here when their dad says, otherwise Sam is going to go crazy.

 

As he sits by himself before the upperclassmen make their way into the cafeteria, Sam tries to think of ways to get out of the next few weeks of gym. Unfortunately, Sam and Dean are currently attending the same school, and Dean drives them every morning, so there is no way Sam is able to fake sick or skip. He supposes he can always ride with Dean, and then ditch after Dean goes to class. It was only a few miles walk back to their shitty one bedroom. But the moment Sam doesn’t show up in the parking lot after school, Dean would floor it home and beat the hell out of him for cutting class. But jesus, he has to do something.

 

He’s drawn from his thoughts as he hears a familiar voice. He looks up to see Greg enter the cafeteria with his usual group of friends, sitting at a table just a few down from Sam. He watches as the other boy talks and laughs with his friends, his smile lighting up his face.

 

Sam is once again pulled from his private thoughts of the sophomore by the giggling from a table of all girls nearby that seem to be staring intently at something. He looks around the cafeteria, noticing most of the other girls, and a few guys, all staring in the same direction as well. He looks in the direction everyone else seems to be, and spots Dean approaching the lunch line, immediately realizing that the reason for the giggling and staring is his brother.

 

Dean is a senior, and has been eighteen for about a month now. He seems to have lost all interest in high school long ago, not even bothering to make friends, or hook up with girls at their current school. He lone wolfed it. Even eating lunch by himself on the hood of the Impala as he blared his crappy mullet rock. And then just like that, inspiration hit. Sam flies from his seat at his table and rushes to Dean’s side as he hands over the cash for his lunch.

 

“I need a favor.”

 

Dean smiles at him, releasing one hand from his tray to ruffle Sam’s hair.

 

“Well, it’s nice to see you too, Samuel. Yes, I am having a wonderful day. Thanks for asking.”

 

“I’m serious, Dean. I really need your help. Please.”

 

Dean lets out an exasperated sigh and rolls his eyes dramatically for emphasis.

 

“Alright, Sammy, alright. What is it?”

 

“I like this guy, Greg, the one sitting at the table over there. The guy with the black hair. Don’t stare! Just... I like him and I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend so I can make him jealous.” Sam says quickly.

 

Dean stares at him with wide eyes, then blinks dumbfounded for a moment before speaking.

 

“The fuck, Sam? What the hell kind of question is that?!”

 

“Please, Dean! I’ve tried everything to get his attention!”

 

“Sam, not only is this a dumb idea, it’s creepy as shit. I’m your brother, numb nuts. Don’t you think that’s super fucking weird? And what do you think he’s going to think?”

 

“He has no idea you’re my brother. I don’t think anyone here does. All they know is that you’re a hot senior that lurks around here on his own. They don’t even notice me.”

 

Dean gives him a sly smile.

 

“You think I’m hot?”  


Sam rolls his eyes and gives him a tired look.

 

“Dean, come on. Seriously. I need you to help me out.”

 

Dean stares at the floor for a minute, just shaking his head and not talking. It feels like forever before he looks back at Sam.

 

“I don’t know, Sam. There’s gotta be a better way to get this dude’s attention. Why don’t you ask one of your little friends to help you?”

 

“What friends, Dean? You’re all I’ve got right now. We’ve already been here almost two weeks, and we’ll be gone in another few weeks and I haven’t made a single friend. At this point, I don’t see much point in trying to make any now.”

 

“Then why go through all the trouble for this guy?”

 

Sam is desperate, so he fixes Dean with his best hurt puppy dog look, and pleads one last time.

 

“Please, Dean. I really like him. Please?”

 

Dean heaves out another huge sigh, but he closes his eyes, smiles, and shakes his head softly, and Sam knows he’s got him.

 

“Alright, Sammy. I’ll help you. Just tell me what I have to do.”

 

Sam squeezes his older brother in a hug, then lets go to give him a huge smile.

 

“Thank you, Dean! Okay, right now I just need you to eat lunch with me. Flirt with me a little, and make goo goo eyes at me if you’re up to it.”

 

“Okay, no to the goo goo eyes, I’m an expert at flirting, so no worries there, but if you ask me to feed you, I _will_ punch you and then leave your ass stranded here today.”

 

Sam grabs Dean’s still free hand and drags him back to the table. He can feel all the eyes on him and his face instantly heats up. He’s finally managed to get people’s attention. Unfortunately, the glares he’s receiving aren’t what he had in mind, and feel just as intense as the laser scopes they practice shooting with. Dean doesn’t seem fazed at all.

 

“Jesus, Sam. We’ve been boyfriends for thirty seconds and already we’re holding hands.”

 

“Shut up, Dean.”

 

They sit across from each other at the otherwise empty table, Sam forcing a smile as he watches Dean shove fry after fry into his mouth. He still feels the glares, and it makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

 

“Don’t worry about them, Sam. People love to talk shit.” Dean says around a mouthful of burger.

 

“Do you have to be so gross?” He asks without letting the smile falter.

 

“Come on, Sammy. You should think it’s cute.”

 

The bell rings a few minutes later, signaling the end of lunch. Sam is grateful he doesn’t have to watch Dean eat anymore. He follows Dean as he goes to throw away his tray.

 

“So what’s the plan here, little brother?”

 

“First of all, you should maybe not call me that here, considering our secret ruse that’s happening right now. And second, I don’t really have a plan.”

 

“So you knew enough to ask me to be your fake boyfriend, but didn’t think what you might need to do after that? Good planning.”

 

Sam glares at him, but Dean just smiles and ruffles his hair again.

 

“Alright, don’t worry. I’ve got this. Just follow my lead, and go along with anything I’m doing. Okay?”

 

Sam nods, and Dean wraps an arm around him, gripping Sam’s hip and pulling him up against his side. Sam goes rigid, realizing that he’s in way over his head. It doesn’t escape Sam that now everyone is openly staring, including Greg, and he can’t help but feel like he’s in the middle of a bad romantic comedy.

 

Dean bends down to whisper in Sam’s ear, brushing his lips against the shell.

 

“Looks like we’ve already caught the attention of your little friend. At this rate you two will be doing the horizontal mambo by the end of next week.”

 

“Dean!” Sam hisses in a chastising tone. His face absolutely flares, but he allows Dean to pull him out of the cafeteria.

 

Dean walks him to his locker, waits for Sam to gather his books, and then walks Sam to his next class. There is never a moment where they don’t feel people’s eyes following them.

 

Dean grabs Sam’s arm and pulls him back as he tries to walk into his classroom. Sam’s heart begins to race as Dean closes his eyes, leans over, and gives Sam a multi second long kiss on his forehead. He doesn’t know how there still appears to be blood in other parts of his body besides his face, but there clearly is as he feels his cheeks heat up again.

 

When Dean pulls away he stares at Sam, giving him the same adoring, big brother smile that he always gives him.

 

“I’ll drive you home. Meet me in the parking lot after school.” Dean says loud enough for anyone in the vicinity to hear.

 

Sam smiles back at him, nodding once.

 

“Thanks, Dean.” He says quiet enough that only they can hear.

 

Dean ruffles his hair one final time before turning and heading to his own class.

 

Sam finds it hard to focus on history this period with all of his female classmates glaring daggers at him. Funny how before he might as well have been an empty seat, now he’s managed to make himself public enemy number one.

 

By the end of the day Sam is exhausted, and his shoulder is sore from having five different girls “accidentally” bump him in the hallway. His whole body floods with relief when he steps outside to see Dean standing next to the Impala, hands in his pockets, looking like the epitome of cool and calm. Right now he wants nothing more than to sit on his couch and hang out with his big brother.

 

He does his best not to sprint to the car. Dean shoots him a blinding grin as soon as he spots Sam, and even goes so far as to step around the car and open Sam’s door for him.

 

“Don’t you think you’re overdoing it now, Dean?”

 

“Aw, no way, Sammy. I gotta make this shit convincing. If I’m gonna be your fake boyfriend, then I’m gonna go all out. I don’t do things half-assed, little brother.”

 

He closes Sam’s door and gets in on the driver’s side. Sam spots Greg standing next to his own car, watching them as well with an odd expression on his face that Sam can’t place. He can still feel eyes on them as they pull out of the parking lot, and it’s not until they’re a block away that Sam finally feels like he can breathe again for the first time since lunch.


	2. Set In Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that the agreement has been settled, it's time to set the plan in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2...enjoy!

Once at home, Sam feels relief at finding everything is the same as always. Dean pushes him out of the way to get in the door first, leaves his boots in the hall so that Sam trips over them, then goes to the fridge to grab a beer before plopping down on the couch.

All of Sam’s earlier gratitude has disappeared, and he fights the urge to pick up one of Dean’s boots and hurl it at his head. Instead, he gets out his homework, finishing everything before going into the kitchen to prepare dinner.

They discuss Sam’s plan a little more as they eat. Dean will walk with Sam to all of his classes, try to be as touchy- feely as he can without it being too weird, and they’ll eat lunch together from now on. Then they watch a little bit of tv before Sam showers and they both go to bed.

Dean wakes Sam up the next morning by tickling him awake, and blowing raspberries against his cheek before hopping in the shower. Sam walks into the bathroom a few moments later to brush his teeth. He studies Dean in the mirror as he brushes, the nearly see through shower curtain not doing much to hide Dean.

Sam realized he liked boys last summer before he started high school. Their neighbor at the time had invited Sam over to watch porn, and he found himself watching the men more than the women. When he went home that night he told Dean everything. Dean hadn’t batted an eyelash, merely explained to Sam what it meant that he was attracted to boys, and told him that he should do whatever makes him happy. He figured when he liked Amy a few states back that it had to have just been a fluke.

After that, Sam had started to think about what that meant for him. Sex wouldn’t be like what they taught him in health class. And he wouldn’t be able to tell just anyone, knowing that they wouldn’t be as accepting as his brother. And under no circumstances could he let their dad find out.

Sam has had crushes before at his other schools. There were cute guys everywhere. But Greg is the first one that he’s had a crush on that also could maybe like him back. This could potentially be his first real relationship. He’ll have to remind himself to thank Dean again for helping him out.

He continues to watch his brother in the mirror. Dean is tall, almost six feet now. He’s tan, and lean; his muscles becoming more noticeably substantial every day. He has broad shoulders, and is dusted with freckles from his collarbone up. His hair seems to get more golden every summer, bringing out the freckles even more. And he has the longest eye lashes Sam has ever seen on a guy, making the jade green of his eyes stand out that much more.

Sam isn’t stupid, his brother is good looking. Incredibly good looking. He’s always known that, even from the time they were young. Waitresses at truck stops would always comment on what a beautiful kid he was. It’s no surprise Dean has grown up to be this good looking. He supposes he can’t really blame his brother for being kind of a slut. How does one say no when women are constantly flinging themselves at you?

And Dean is a ladies man. Always has been. He’s never had any trouble with girls, if losing his virginity at thirteen is any proof. And romance seemed to be a second language to him. Or third, behind Latin. Dean can have any girl he wants. It amazes him that Dean loves him that much that he has given up any potential hook ups in this town just to help him out.

It’s then that Dean finally looks up and meets Sam’s eyes in the mirror. They hold each other’s gaze for a moment, neither moving, or speaking. Sam isn’t exactly sure what’s happening, and blushes as he realizes Dean is watching him, too. A big grin breaks over Dean’s face.

“Something I can help you with, Sammy? Or are you just going to perv on me for the rest of my shower.”

Sam looks away, ducking his head, spitting toothpaste into the sink. He doesn’t even want to see how red his face is in the mirror. He can hear Dean chuckle quietly. He dries his mouth off with Dean’s towel and clears his throat.

“You should hurry. School starts in twenty minutes.”

They drive to school in silence, Dean’s crappy music the only noise in the car. They pull into the parking lot, and Dean makes sure to get a spot close to the door where everyone will see them walk in together. Sam gets out, opening his own door this time, and starts toward the door.

“Sam.”

He turns to see Dean still standing next to the car, beckoning him with his finger. Sam rolls his eyes and walks back over to this brother.

“What, Dean? I don’t wanna be late for geometry.”

Dean shakes his head at him.

“Such a nerd. Here.”

Dean takes off his leather jacket and waits for Sam to take off his backpack so he can put it on his little brother. Sam is practically swimming in the thing.

“Are you sure, Dean? This is your favorite jacket?”

Dean gives him a soft smile.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I told you. I don’t wanna do this half ass. Take the jacket. It’ll be more convincing.”

Sam smiles at him.

“Thanks, Dean.”

“Yeah, whatever. Let’s get you to class.”

They stop at Sam’s locker on the way to his class, Sam removing the necessary books. He hugs them to his chest. Dean’s arm is around his shoulders as they make their way through the halls, his stomach in knots as people constantly turn to glare at them.

“Don’t worry about them, Sammy. Jealousy does crazy things to people.”

Sam pauses outside of his classroom, staring up at Dean. Dean just smiles at him, and pulls his jacket tighter around Sam.

“I’ll see you after class.”

And at that he walks away, Sam watching him as he goes.

Sam’s other three periods before lunch are exhausting. He only sees Dean after geometry, his older brother MIA for whatever reason the rest of the time.

He’s getting changed after gym when he feels a presence next to him.

“Hey, Sam.”

Sam blinks stupidly for a minute, his mouth hanging open.

“Hi. Greg.”

Greg smiles at him, his bright white teeth distracting Sam a little.

“I was just wondering if you wanted to come to the diner with a couple of us after school. We were going to grab a bite, do homework and stuff. Any interest?”

Sam’s heart is nearly leaping out of his chest.

“Uh, I’d love to. But I should probably check with my bro-,“ Sam freezes, hoping Greg doesn’t catch his almost slip, “My boyfriend first.”

Greg’s smile falters a little.

“Oh, okay. Well, just let me know then.”

Sam closes his locker and nearly sprints to the cafeteria. He’s all but bouncing up and down at his table waiting for Dean. When his brother finally walks in he sees Sam’s expression and makes a beeline for him.

“What happened?” Dean asks, trying not to laugh at his little brother.

“Greg! Greg asked me out! Well, kind of. He asked if I wanted to get something to eat with him and his friends after school today!”

“No.”

Sam is taken aback, and stares at his brother.

“No? What do you mean no? This is the whole point of the plan. This is why we’re doing this.”

“Just trust me. If you say yes then you’ll look desperate. Make him chase you. You have to make it look like you’re not really interested. It’ll drive him nuts. Trust me, Sammy. I know what I’m talking about.”

Sam mulls it over for a minute, but he finally concedes.

“Alright. I’m trusting you. But I’m going to be so mad if you’re wrong.”

“I’m not. Now, I’m going to go to the bathroom, you go over to his table and tell him you’re busy. I’ll meet you at your locker when you’re done.”

Sam is suddenly overcome with panic.

“Go up to his table? In front of the whole cafeteria and all of his friends?”

“Yes, now do it. Go.”

He pushes Sam in the direction of Greg’s table, and Sam watches as he leaves the cafeteria, trying to beg him with his eyes to stay. Dean just winks and gives Sam a huge smile. Sam takes a deep breath to calm himself, before making his way to Greg’s table.

“Hey, Greg.” He says before he his time to change his mind and walk away.

Greg looks up and gives him another nearly blinding smile.

“Hey, Sam! What’s up?”

“I wanted to say thanks for inviting me earlier, but I’m busy today, so I won’t be able to make it.”

“Oh, okay then.”

Greg just sits there for a moment looking completely dejected. Sam feels terrible, and almost changes his mind and tells Greg that he’d love to go, but he remembers what Dean said.

“Maybe we can hang out some other time, though.”

Greg perks up a little at that.

“Okay, yeah. That’d be great!”

“See ya.”

Sam turns and leaves, trying to keep the excitement bubbling up in him from bursting to the surface. He gets to his locker a few minutes later to find Dean waiting for him.

“You were right! It worked! Just like you said!”

“Told ya, kiddo. I know what I’m talking about. No whadaya say we cut the rest of the day and go home?”

“But we still have four hours left. Why do you wanna go home?”

Dean shakes his head and Sam knows Dean’s calling him an idiot on the inside.

“It’s school, Sam. Why wouldn’t I want to go home?”

Sam studies him closely for a moment. He sees the tension in the set of his brother’s jaw. He knows Dean too well for Dean to be trying to hide anything from him. His brother is practically an open book that’s he’s studied backward, forward, and upside down.

“What happened, Dean? Does it have something to do with the fact that I didn’t see you for the past three hours?”

“Sam-“

“What happened?”

Sam fixes him with a look, and Dean sighs and gives in.

“I’m failing most of my classes. I didn’t come meet you for the past few hours because my teachers wanted to keep my after class to discuss my grade.”

“Dean. Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve been helping you study.”

“Doesn’t matter. As soon as we leave this place I’m getting my GED. Fuck school. I’m done with it.”

Sam feels bad for Dean. Deep down he knows how smart Dean is, but Dean has just never been the scholarly type. He wishes he could do something to help, but he knows he’ll never be able to convince Dean to stay in school now that he’s made up his mind.

“Alright. Let’s get out of here. We can go home and I’ll even make your favorite for dessert tonight.”

Dean gives him a blinding smile.

“Apple pie?”

Sam smiles back.

“Apple pie.”

Dean ruffles his hair.

“This is why I love you, Sammy.”

Sam blushes at Dean’s words, and bumps him with his shoulder.

“Let’s go.”

Sam keeps his word, and Dean scarfs down three pieces of pie after dinner.


	3. Playing the Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean wants to make things convincing. Sam follows his lead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who has been reading. I really appreciate it. The good stuff will come soon, I promise. In the meantime, enjoy chapter 3!

Dean is already up and showered the next morning when the smell of coffee wakes Sam.

“Time to get up, little brother. I brought you doughnuts and some fancy coffee. If that’s what you wanna call this shit.”

Sam sits up, rubbing his eyes and gives Dean a sleepy smile.

“Thanks. What brought this on?”

“You made me pie. I figured I owed you. Now get up. We gotta get to school. And don’t forget my jacket.”

Sam’s first three classes fly by and he’s absolutely giddy by the time he gets to gym. He’s running laps on the track when Greg runs up beside him.

“Hey, Sam.”

“Hey. What’s up?” Sam is trying so hard to play it cool when inside he kind of feels like he’s going to throw up.

“Not much. How’s your day going?”

Sam tries to hide his smile.

“Pretty good. How is yours?”

“It’s definitely getting better.”

Sam bites his lip, his stomach now full of butterflies. They run in silence for the rest of class and it’s not until they’re back in the locker room that Greg clears his throat.

“So, you and that Dean guy… are you guys, like, serious?”

Sam is surprised by the question.

“Uh, I don’t know if I’d say that. We really haven’t been dating that long.”

An odd expression crosses Greg’s face. Sam doesn’t want to get ahead of himself, but it almost looks like relief.

“Oh. Okay. Cool. Well, you know, if you ever want to just hang out, maybe get some space from your boyfriend, I’d love to do something. Just you and me.”

Sam is about two seconds from jumping for joy, but he swallows, and does his best imitation of being calm.

“That sounds cool. I’ll let you know.”

Greg smiles and gives Sam a nod before leaving the locker room. Sam wants to celebrate, he can’t wait to tell Dean. As he finishes gathering his things he catches movement out of the corner of his eye. There’s three boys standing together, glaring at Sam menacingly. He has gym with them, but he doesn’t know any of them. He pretends like he’s not bothered, closes his gym locker, and heads for the cafeteria.

When he gets there, Dean is already waiting for him at their table with lunch.

“I already bought your lunch for you, man. Figured it’d look romantic or whatever.”

Dean barely shoves the tray toward Sam before he starts digging into his own taco salad. Sam ignores the offering and blurts out his news.

“Greg asked me to do something with him sometime. Just us two! Isn’t it great?!”

Dean stops eating for a minute and looks up at him, his mouth still full of food. He chews for a second, swallows, then finally speaks.

“Yeah, that is great. But you can’t say yes just yet. You have to make him work for it a little bit more.”

“Come on, Dean! This playing hard to get nonsense is driving me insane! I got his attention, and he’s asked me out twice already. Can’t I just go out with the guy already?”

“You can do whatever you want, Sam. But you should listen to me. Have I been wrong yet?”

Sam sighs.

“No. You haven’t.”

“Then just do what I’m telling you.”

They finish eating and Dean walks Sam to class as usual. The rest of the day goes pretty smoothly for Sam, and he notices that less people give him dirty looks now as he and Dean walk through the hallways together. It’s not until after his last class, when he makes one final stop at his locker that his day suddenly takes a turn.

He’s packing up his backpack when it’s suddenly ripped out of his hand and thrown on the ground. He doesn’t even have time to react before he’s being spun around and thrown up against his locker, being pinned by two separate pairs of hands on his shoulders. He recognizes them as the boys that were watching him in the locker room earlier. The third is standing in front of Sam, giving him an infuriated look.

“You’re the little queer in our gym class that likes to hang out with the other queer in class.”

Sam isn’t sure if they’re expecting some sort of response, but he certainly doesn’t dignify that with one.

“One homo in our school was enough, we don’t need you coming around trying to scam on us too. So, let’s make this clear…” The guy nods to the other two, and they tighten their grips on his shoulder.

Sam knows he’s in trouble. He could probably handle one of them on their own if he’d seen them coming, maybe even two, but now that they have him pinned there’s no way he can manage fight off all three of them.

The third kid sucker punches Sam right in the ribs, and he knows he’ll have a bruise there by the end of the night. He’d probably be doubled over if the other two weren’t holding him up. The second punch lands right to Sam’s lip. It busts open immediately, but this one doesn’t hurt nearly as bad. The ribs are always sensitive, but Sam’s had a busted lip enough times to hardly be effected by it.

“We don’t need any more fags in our school. You can tell that to your pretty boy boyfriend, too.”

They finally release him and walk away, but not before shoving him back into his locker again and kicking his backpack a good ten feet.

Sam is still for a minute, catching his breath and trying to calm himself down. He fights back the urge to cry and gathers his things from the floor, making his way out to the parking lot where he was supposed to meet Dean five minutes ago. He doesn’t rush.

Dean spots him from across the parking lot and immediately sees that something is wrong. When Sam reaches him he won’t look Dean in the eyes, and is clutching at his side.

Dean slides a finger under Sam’s chin, lifting Sam’s face to look at him. He sees the busted lip and the hurt in Sam’s eyes.

“Where are they?”

Dean’s voice drops and his body hardens. He’s gone into hunter mode and Sam is terrified for the safety of the three boys, even if they did beat him up.

“It’s fine, Dean. Really. Forget it.”

“The fuck I will. Who were they?”

Sam tries to look away, but Dean has a vice grip on his chin.

“They’re dead. When I find them I’m going to rip their fucking lungs out.”

A small group is walking past them, one person shouting “fags”, and Sam immediately recognizes the voice and the snickers that follow. His eyes flicker quickly over to the three boys before flicking back to the ground. Dean watches Sam’s face and knows exactly whose ass he needs to kick.

He releases Sam and makes his way after the group of boys.

“Hey! Shitheads!” Dean calls after them, but he doesn’t wait for them to respond.

He grabs the closest one, spins him around, and lands a punch to the kid’s jaw that has him falling to the ground like a sack of potatoes. The other two realize what happens and both charge at Dean. He knees one in the stomach, slowing him down enough to punch one in the nose, breaking it instantly. The second kid recovers, and Dean is well trained enough to realize that he’s the biggest kid out of the three, and is probably the one that hit Sam.

He grabs the kid’s collar and pulls him upright, throwing him against the side of the Impala. The look on Dean’s face nearly makes Sam’s blood run cold, and his voice his low and dangerous. He’s impressed that the kid hasn’t pissed himself yet.

“If you _ever_ fucking touch him again… I’ll fucking rip you in two. Do you understand?”

“Y-yeah.” The kid stutters out.

Dean punches the kid in the ribs, and Sam knows from experience that Dean’s punches will leave much more damage than the kid’s. He yanks the kid away from the car, holding him by his forearm, and slams his palm into the kid’s shoulder, dislocating it on impact. When he lets the kid go, he immediately falls to the ground, clutching his shoulder.

“Let’s go, Sammy.”

Once in the car, Dean is silent. It doesn’t escape Sam’s notice that he’s gripping the wheel so tightly his knuckles are white. They pull up to their house a short time later. Dean gets out and slams the door, walking into the house before Sam even moves to unbuckle. Sam walks in a minute later to find Dean standing in the open fridge chugging a beer.

“Dean?”

“What do you want, Sam?” Dean says sharply.

He’s turned away from Sam now, gripping the empty beer bottle so tightly that Sam is worried about it shattering in Dean’s hand.

“I’m sorry.”

Dean sets the bottle down and whips around. He looks confused and almost as if he’s in pain.

“Sammy… you don’t need to be sorry. You did nothing wrong.”

“Yes, I do. I should’ve known those guys would try something. And I should’ve been able to handle them by myself.”

Dean makes his way over to Sam, surprising Sam by pulling him into a hug. Sam is still so much smaller than Dean. He’s short for a fourteen year old, hardly coming up to Dean’s collar bone. And he’s still too skinny to have any defined muscle, even if it is there. Dean’s probably got sixty pounds on Sam.

“There’s nothing you could’ve done, Sam. Those guys would’ve gotten to you some other time if it hadn’t happened today. You don’t need to feel bad. And it’s my job as your boy-,” Dean goes silent, but Sam just stares at him, “As your big brother to stick up for you.”

Dean pulls Sam away from himself, gripping his shoulders and holding him at arm’s length. He smiles at Sam and ruffles his hair.

“Let’s take a look at your ribs.”

He pushes aside his leather jacket, and slowly pulls up Sam’s shirt. He gently runs his hands over Sam’s ribs. Sam hisses and flinches away from the touch the slightest bit, goosebumps breaking out over his stomach. Sam blushes at his brother’s tender touch.

“It’s gonna hurt like a bitch for the next few days, but you’ll be okay. Go do your homework, I’ll get started on dinner.”

They eat in comfortable silence, then watch tv together. Sam falls asleep on the couch, his head resting against Dean’s arm. Dean smiles down at his brother’s small sleeping form.

Sam is the light of Dean’s life, his everything. He has been since the day their father put Sam in his arms at the hospital and told him it was his responsibility to look out for his little brother. He is Dean’s responsibility. But he’s also so much more than that. Dean loves Sam; that goes without saying. But Dean is also in love with Sam. Has been since before it was ever okay, not that it is now. Initially, he was incredibly concerned when Sam asked him to be his fake boyfriend. He didn’t want there to be any risk of slipping up, and having Sam discover his feelings for him. The idea of getting to fake date Sam was too tempting, though. And after his brother had turned on his puppy dog eyes there was no way Dean could say no. He knows how wrong this is. That he’s using Sam, in a sense. But he’ll do whatever it takes to make his baby brother happy. Even if what makes him happy is being with someone who isn’t Dean.

Dean turns off the tv and carries Sam to bed. He falls asleep thinking about what he’s going to do when Sam and this Greg kid actually start dating. He’s not sure he’ll be able to handle that.

Sam wakes up the next morning to Dean shouting at him from the shower. They get to school and pull into what is now their usual spot. Dean gets out as Sam is still gathering his things, and makes his way to Sam’s side, holding open the door for him. Sam is more than surprised.

“I want you to stay close to me today, Sam.”

Sam nods at him with wide eyes.

They walk toward the building, and Sam jumps as Dean’s arm finds its way around his back, his hand firmly gripping Sam’s hip. If Dean is being honest he kind of likes that Sam is still wearing his jacket.

He stops outside of Sam’s classroom, pecking Sam’s cheek quickly before walking off. Sam is so surprised at the abrupt display of affection that he doesn’t even have time to blush at the gesture like he normally would.

Sam watches as Dean walks down the hallway, stopping briefly as he walks past the three boys from yesterday. He sees that Dean’s saying something to them, but he can’t hear what. Dean aggressively shoves the biggest of the three boys into a locker and then continues on his way. Sam’s eyes linger on the boys a moment, just long enough to take in their bruises and bandages, and he smirks a little to himself.

Dean is waiting outside of every one of Sam’s classes, and he carries Sam’s backpack over his shoulder for him. His other arm is wrapped around Sam; hand either possessively on his hip, or around his waist. It’s become comforting to Sam. The firm feel of his brother’s arm against his back, the smell of his soap and cologne, the body heat that he knows so well. He only kisses Sam’s cheek the once that morning. Something that Sam is not becoming familiar with no matter how much he thinks about it.

When he walks Sam to the boy’s locker room he’s even holding Sam’s hand. Actually holding it. Like he hasn’t done since Sam was eight and couldn’t cross the street by himself. For some reason it makes Sam’s skin itchy, and he can feel the sweat gather at his hairline. He wonders if Dean can feel the jump in his pulse where their wrists are touching.

He doesn’t immediately leave Sam when they get to the locker room like he normally does. Just tugs on Sam’s hand and spins him around so that Sam’s looking up into his eyes.

“Those guys won’t be bothering you anymore, Sammy. And if they do they know what’s coming to them.” He says in a hushed tone. “Now, I have a plan, and I’m gonna need you to trust me on this. Can you do that?”

Sam has no idea what Dean’s talking about, but he doesn’t need to know. Just knows that he trusts his brother with his life. He nods his head, eyes as wide as saucers.

Dean finally lets go of Sam’s hand, and uses it instead to cup Sam’s face. It shakes a little, but it’s warm and calloused, and so familiar that Sam isn’t surprised by the gesture at all. What does surprise him is the look in Dean’s eyes. He’s seen the look on Dean before, though. That desperate, longing look when Dean is hurting, but won’t say anything out loud so that he can keep a strong front for his family. But Sam always knows. What Sam can’t figure out is why it would be there right now.

Dean’s thumb rubs gently at the cut on Sam’s lip, and is giving him the softest of smiles. Dean only lets himself feel guilty for a moment, telling himself he’s doing this for Sam, even though he knows better.

“Sammy.” Is all he utters, and then he’s no longer looking at Sam.

Sam can only turn his head slightly with the way Dean is holding his face, and he sees Greg out of the corner of his eye before Dean is grabbing his chin and pressing his lips firmly, but not demanding, against Sam’s. Sam’s breath catches in his throat. He can’t remember his face ever feeling hotter than it does right now, and he knows it’s a kiss, so he should close his eyes, but this is a kiss with his _brother_ , and his eyes feel like they’re about to pop out of his head.

The kiss doesn’t last more than a few seconds, and then Dean is pulling away, giving Sam another soft smile.

“See ya later, Sammy.”

And just like that Dean is gone. No explanation, no nothing. Just gone. Sam is too lost in his own thoughts to even realize that Greg is standing right in front of him waving a hand in Sam’s face.

“You okay, Sam?”

Sam’s eyes meet Greg’s. He’s a little red in the face right now, probably embarrassed that he caught Sam and Dean in the middle of a lip lock. He also looks a little unsure of himself, but aside from that, he’s as cute as he always is.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.”

“No problem. Didn’t mean to interrupt anything there.”

Sam’s face is flaming again.

“You didn’t! It was just- we were just- I…We should probably get to class.” Is what Sam finally settles on, at a loss for any further explanation.


	4. Seeping Through the Cracks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan is working, but is it working out for everyone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I just wanted to thank you guys for reading. It's been so amazing to get feedback. We all feel insecure about our writing sometimes, and I greatly appreciate knowing when mine is actually being enjoyed. It's a nice little confidence booster. 
> 
> I just wanted to give you guys a quick update: I've been really trying to consistently put out chapters, but the next one is giving me some trouble, so it might be a few days before I can get it posted. Please bear with me. I'll work my hardest to get it out as soon as I can.
> 
> This chapter is where things start to get a little interesting... Enjoy!

Greg and Sam talk while they get changed, the three boys from yesterday not so mysteriously out of sight.

Talking to Greg is getting easier. He only halfway wants to throw up now when he talks to the older boy. And his heart doesn’t leap into his throat as often. He still laughs uncontrollably sometimes, and he can’t help but constantly smile when he’s around Greg. The giddy school boy crush effect won’t let him stop smiling. He kind of feels like an idiot, but Greg doesn’t say anything, so Sam’s okay with it.

Greg doesn’t bring up Dean again until the end of class. They’re changing out of their gym clothes when Greg coughs conspicuously.

“Your boyfriend seems really nice. He’s clearly crazy about you.”

The blood rises to Sam’s cheeks once more.

“He is. Nice, I mean. Sorry you had to see that earlier. He’s been…affectionate today.”

“No big deal. He really likes you. If I were dating you I would’ve done the same thing.”

More blood to his face.

“Really?”

Greg nods.

“Come on. He’s probably waiting for you in the cafeteria. And after what he did to those guys yesterday I’d hate to see what he’d do to me if he thought I was holding you hostage here or something.”

Sam laughs and follows Greg to the cafeteria.

He sits at his and Dean’s usual table, but Dean is nowhere to be found. Lunch is halfway over when he spots Dean out the window, making his way to the parking lot. He recognizes the look on Dean’s face and he knows something is wrong. He doesn’t think twice before getting up and running out to him. He hardly even notices the heads that whip around to stare at him.

“Dean!”

Dean freezes and gives Sam a weak smile when he spots him.

“Heya, Sammy.”

“Dean, what happened? Where are you going?”

Dean folds up the piece of paper he’s holding in his hand that Sam doesn’t notice until now, and sticks it in his back pocket.

“Oh, you know. Just wanted to get some air.”

“That’s bull. Don’t lie to me. Just tell me what happened.”

“Just don’t worry about it, Sam. It’s not a big deal.”

Sam’s starting to get angry. Dean should know he won’t drop it. He never does. Always more than willing to share whatever load Dean is currently carrying on his shoulders.

“Dammit, Dean. Just tell me what happened!”

Dean sighs and pulls the paper back out of his pocket, holding it up in the air.

“They expelled me. Wanted me off campus immediately. Apparently me beating the shit out of those guys yesterday because they deserved it, doesn’t excuse my violent actions. They didn’t appreciate it too much. That, coupled with the fact that I’m failing everything, lead them to think that they’d be better off just expelling me. They just don’t want to have to worry about another trouble maker. Can’t say I’m too torn up about it. Not like I was planning on staying in school that much longer, anyway.”

Sam is absolutely crushed. He doesn’t think twice before throwing his arms around Dean, and squeezing him in a hug.

“I’m so sorry, Dean. This is all my fault.”

Dean hugs him back for a few seconds before he grips Sam’s arms and detaches him.

“No it ain’t, Sam. Don’t blame yourself. Don’t you do that. This is all on me. I chose to do what I did. Now I’ll just get my GED like I planned, and that way I can help dad more.”

Sam shakes his head. He feels so helpless. Deep down he’d always secretly hoped he’d be able to talk Dean out of dropping out. Now it was too late.

“You’re too smart for a GED. You’re too smart to just be a hunter! You know it, and I know it. This could’ve been your chance! Get your diploma, go to college, and get out. Stop hunting, and just live a normal life!”

“Shut up with that shit. I’m not cut out for college. That’s always been your thing, nerd boy. Besides, where would I even go? Someone’s gotta watch out for dad. And there’s no way I could ever leave you.”

Sam is not the only one to blush this time. Dean is quick to change the subject, though.

“Anyway, I’m heading home. Wanna ditch with me? Start the weekend a little early?”

Sam thinks for a minute. He’s already skipped his last four classes once this week, and he really should be trying his best to keep up so that his homework doesn’t pile up. But Dean needs him right now, so there’s no question about it. 

“Yeah. I really do. Can we get a movie on the way home?”

Dean smiles and ruffles Sam’s hair. It’s starting to bother Sam and less and less each time Dean does it.

“You know it. Hey, I stole the principle’s wallet on my way out. You want pizza tonight? I’m buying.”

Sam gives Dean a stern look, but laughs and shakes his head.

“Sure. Pizza it is.”

The night is exactly the kind of night that Sam lives for. He and Dean watch old action movies, eat pizza, have burping contests, and Sam could not be any happier. He loves easy nights like these with Dean. Nights where it feels like they’re nothing more than normal teenagers. It’s not until they’re in bed for the night that Sam remembers the question that was burning on his mind earlier.

“Hey, Dean?”

“Hm?”

Dean’s eyes are closed, but Sam knows he’s nowhere close to sleep. Sam isn’t sure how to ask, so he just goes for it.

“Why did you _kiss_ me earlier? We haven’t done that since we were little kids.”

Dean’s eyes snap open, and he goes rigid. He really hopes Sam can’t hear his heart pounding away against his ribs. It’s a moment before he finally turns to Sam and answers.

“I wanted to do something that would really make an impact on your little friend. That’s why I made sure we did it somewhere where he was around to see it. Make him think about doing it with you. Did it work?”

It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was enough.

Sam knows his face is red again, and he nods.

“Good. Then my plan worked.”

They don’t speak anymore after that. Dean falls asleep a while later, Sam not long after that, his fingers tracing over his lips where he can feel the heated ghost of the kiss he and Dean shared.

Their Saturday is less enjoyable for Sam than the night before. Mostly they spend it cleaning their guns and sparring. Dean makes Sam run five miles with him, and Sam kind of wants to punch him when they get done. Dean makes it up to him later, though, when they’re watching tv on the couch together, and he produces a massive bag of candy from the convenient store.

Sunday they relax. Dean knows their father would be disappointed that he and Sam aren’t training more frequently, but Sam looks so cute all splayed out on the couch that Dean can’t bear to make Sam move.

They’re still lounging on the couch later that night when Sam feels the need to point out the obvious. 

“You’re not going to be with me at school tomorrow.”

Dean turns to Sam and gives him a sad smile.

“I know. ‘M sorry, kiddo.”

“What am I supposed to do without you around to watch my back?”

Dean grabs Sam’s knee and gives it a squeeze.

“You’ll be fine, Sam. You’ve always been tougher than me, anyway.”

“Maybe if you weren’t such a dumbass then you would still be able to come to school with me.” Sam teases him.

“Oh, okay! Not like I was defending _your_ honor or anything, _princess_.”

Dean gives Sam’s arm a hard shove and Sam flops over sideways on the couch. Sam sits up and shoves him back.

“Some knight in shining armor you are.”

Dean turns and jumps on top of Sam, straddling his stomach and gripping both of his wrists in one hand, pinning him as he tickles his brother. Sam wriggles and squirms under him, his giggling making Dean’s face light up.

“Dean! Dean, get off! Quit it!” Sam yells, though it doesn’t come out quite as clearly due to his laughing.

“No way, Sammy. Not until you take it back.”

Dean is tickling him mercilessly, and Sam is starting to not be able to breathe.

“Okay, okay! Fine! I take it back!”

“That’s my good boy.”

Sam gasps, which may or may not have anything to do with the fact that he’s out of breath, or that Dean just told him he was his good boy. Either way, Dean is still sitting on top of him with Sam’s wrists still in his hands. And Sam’s only now realizing that Dean’s face is hovering just inches from his own.

Something is happening between them. Sam knows it, and he knows Dean knows it. Maybe it’s been there longer than he realized, but he wasn’t even aware of it until he and Dean started pretending to date. He’s not sure what it means, or where it’s coming from, but there’s no denying that it’s there.

He’s really not sure what he’s doing when he spreads his legs to let Dean slip easily between them, but it feels like the right thing to do. They’re just staring at each other, and little by little Dean drops his whole weight down on Sam until their hips are touching. It feels kind of good, and Dean is so warm. An odd noise escapes Sam’s mouth that he doesn’t really know how to categorize, and Dean hears it clear as day from this distance. Dean closes his eyes to try and focus on his breathing, but he can feel his dick gaining interest in their activities, and it feels like Sam’s has started to as well.

“Dean.” Sam says so softly it’s basically a whisper.

Dean opens his eyes to stare into Sam’s half lidded ones, and there’s no question that the sound that comes out of Sam’s mouth now is a gasp.

Sam knows that look. That look is pure want, and Sam is feeling a million different things right now, including what he thinks is Dean’s dick against his leg. His eyes slip closed, and he lets out another gasp, this one airy and desperate when Dean gently places his lips on Sam’s neck over his pulse point.

It’s not technically a kiss, as Dean’s lips are parted and just resting against Sam’s skin. It doesn’t last longer than a few seconds, but Sam feels completely breathless. He doesn’t stop Dean, or push him off, just lets Dean press harder against his body and he pushes back. Dean’s teeth bite down on his neck with the slightest bit of pressure before his lips close softly over the same point, making it technically a kiss. It doesn’t last very long, then Dean’s lips are gone, his nose grazing over Sam’s carotid where his mouth just was.

Sam has no idea what’s happening, and the only thing that scares him about all of this is that it doesn’t seem strange to him at all. Dean is a warm and comforting weight on top of him, and maybe, just maybe, Sam wants to feel more of it.

“Dean,” Sam whispers out pleadingly on a shaky breath, and it seems to jar something in Dean.

Dean freezes and goes tense like he just spotted a werewolf or something. He’s on his feet before Sam even opens his eyes, hand running through his spiky golden hair, looking like he’s on the brink of tears.

“Go take your shower, Sam.”

His voice is empty and flat, and Sam is kind of terrified. He’s heard his brother angry, sad, scared, drunk, you name it. He has never heard this tone from his brother in all of his fourteen years of life.

Sam sits up and reaches for his brother, but he flinches away like Sam’s going to infect him with something.

“Just go take a shower. Please,” he says in the same emotionless tone.

Sam does as he’s told, but he’s so confused and hurt. He can’t figure out what he did wrong that seemed to upset Dean so much. He’s choking back angry tears throughout his shower, and when he gets out Dean is already in bed with the lights off. His breathing is slow and regulated, but Sam knows he’s not asleep. He won’t call Dean on his bluff, though. Something is very wrong, he’s going to find out what it is, but for now he’ll let it go.


	5. A Complication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting harder for Dean. Has he dug himself too deep of a hole?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for being patient. I'm sorry this one took a little more time. I really buckled down and focused so I could get this one out for you guys. I hope that you guys are happy with the end result and that it was worth the wait. Enjoy!

Sam has some alarming, and very vivid dreams that night. His dream starts where he and Dean left off earlier on the couch.

At first, Sam knows it’s a dream. He’s lying on his couch, but instead of Dean being on top of him, it’s Greg. He ruts against Sam like an animal in heat. His teeth rough on Sam’s neck. It’s desperate and wanton and frightens Sam a little bit, but he clutches onto Greg’s back and holds on.

The second his hands make contact Greg softens. The teeth are replaced by lips and tongue. The rutting becomes a slow, sensual grind that Sam feels in all the right ways and nearly has him losing his mind.

It takes him a moment to realize he’s no longer clutching the material of Greg’s shirt. His hands are now fisted in warm leather that smells like home. It’s so familiar and so clear that he really thinks he must be awake.

“Sam. Oh, god, Sammy.”

It’s quiet, but it’s definitely a moan. All the same, Sam knows that voice anywhere, and that’s when he realizes it must be a dream. Still, it makes him so hard that he’s aware even in his sleep that he wants to come so very badly.

The thought is incredibly jarring. This is _Dean_ that’s getting him this hard. This would never actually happen in real life. Sam is _ninety-nine_ percent certain this would _never_ happen in real life. But this is his dream, and at the moment if feels so damn good.

Dean isn’t holding back. His mouth is everywhere. His body is everywhere. His heat invading Sam’s body and burning him up from the inside out. The thrusts are still slow, but they’re so consistent and so perfect that Sam’s breath hitches each time their cocks make contact through their jeans.

Sam doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. How can he turn their sweet moment from earlier into such a depraved dream? A very hot dream, but a depraved one, nonetheless.

But then he doesn’t care because Dean has somehow flipped Sam onto his stomach without him even realizing it, and is draped across Sam’s back. Sam is pretty sure he’s naked now, and from what he can tell, it feels like Dean is as well.

He is, however, very sure of Dean’s lips pressing right behind his ear to whisper against the delicate skin there.

“You’re so beautiful, Sammy. Love you so much, little brother.”

And then suddenly his dream is shifting. The edges darkening and the picture becoming more and more unclear as he drifts toward consciousness at the most inopportune time.

Sam rouses slightly at the feel of a warm, solid weight on his bare lower back. He feels

Dean’s fingers trace along the ridge of his boxers. The touch is soft and comforting. He’s pretty sure that’s the actual Dean and not _Dream_ Dean touching him, which must mean it’s time to wake up, but Dean’s fingers are so gentle that he slips mostly back into sleep. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Sam thinks that he can feel Dean’s lips against his ear and Dean’s hot breath as he whispers to him, but he’s still too asleep to really take notice.

“Sammy, it’s time to get up, baby brother. Come on. I need you to wake up for me.”

He doesn’t know if it’s something in the tone of Dean’s voice, or maybe his touch, or maybe it’s the fact that he’s still half asleep with the memory of his dream in his head. Truthfully it’s probably a combination of the three, in any case, Sam grinds his still hard and weeping cock into the mattress. Dean notices immediately, and his dick jumps in his pants. He can tell by Sam’s breathing that he’s mostly asleep still and this is probably nothing more than a subconscious reaction. He also knows that it’s wrong and that he shouldn’t, but he finds it incredibly hot, and he can’t help but take advantage of the opportunity.

“Come on, Sam. Come on. You can do it. Let me see it, baby boy. Get yourself there for me. Gonna be so hot. Come on. Let go, Sammy.” He whispers hotly as he rubs soothing circles against Sam’s back.

Dean flicks his tongue over Sam’s ear, and daringly glides his hand down Sam’s back and on to his ass, sliding one finger gently over Sam’s crease, pressing in just the slightest bit. Sam grinds twice more, whimpers, then comes. He lays still for a minute and Dean is panicking slightly as he realizes what he’s just done, until he notices that even after all that, Sam is still asleep. He’s absolutely disgusted with himself, but at least this way he can pretend Sammy dreamt it all.

After a few minutes Sam suddenly bolts upright, looks down at the wet stain on the front of his boxers, then looks at Dean who pretends to be busy with something or other. Sam looks mortified, and Dean can’t decide if he wants to laugh or puke.

“You okay, kiddo?”

Sam’s face flushes. How does he explain to his brother that he just had a wet dream about him?

“Yep. Fine. Gonna go shower.”

And Sam scurries off to the bathroom, his hands covering his crotch the entire time. Dean does laugh as Sam waddles to the bathroom, but inside he still feels sick to his stomach.

Dean drives him to school, and Sam tries his best to hide the disappointment that he’ll never attend another school with Dean again. That realization weighing on him so intensely that he worries he may burst into tears.

Dean sees the heartache clearly on Sam’s face. He knows his little brother is upset, but right now he has more important things to worry about. Like Sam’s future relationship. The one with a boy that he likes, and not his fucked up brother who is lusting after him.

He parks a few blocks from the school, shutting off the engine and turning to Sam.

“Alright, Sammy, this is what’s going to happen. First of all, give me back my jacket.”

Sam looks down at it, not even realizing that he’d put it on this morning, before looking at Dean with a panicked expression.

“Why? I thought you wanted me to wear it? Are you mad at me or something?”

Dean smiles and shakes his head, carding a hand through Sam’s hair reassuringly.

“No, Sammy. I’m not mad. But it’s time we took the next step in our plan. You’re going to go in there and tell your friend that we broke up. That’s why I’m not gonna drive you all the way to school, and why I need my jacket back. If you’re still wearing it then it’s going to look kind of weird. He’ll probably invite you to have lunch with him. And I guarantee he’ll be thinking of ways to get in your pants by the end of today. I’ll pick you up back here after school is over, and you can tell me everything that happened.”

“But, Dean-“

“Just trust me, Sam.”

Sam nods. He takes off Dean’s jacket and hands it back to him before getting out of the car.

“I’ll see you at three.”

Sam closes the door and Dean pulls away. He stands there and waits until the Impala is out of sight. He slowly walks the few blocks to school on his own, the whole time feeling like he’s missing something, and it’s not because he’d gotten used to wearing Dean’s jacket. Sam just doesn’t feel right when he’s not within a hundred yards of his big brother. Almost like he’s lost his right arm.

Sam broke his arm once a few years back jumping out of a tree. Their father was furious. Sam couldn’t do any training for three months, making him essentially useless in John’s eyes. Bottom line, Sam wasn’t any good without his right arm, just like he isn’t any good without Dean.

His morning classes seem to last forever, and Sam has to practically will his feet to carry him to and from class. He just has no interest in school right now. He’s also back to being stared at as he walks through the hallway, this time receiving looks of pity, which might actually be worse than the glares. As he schleps himself through the school he overhears murmurs of plenty of theories about his and Dean’s “break up.”

He’s so relieved by the time he gets to gym and finally gets to see Greg. He and Greg haven’t even begun to change before Dean’s little plan starts to unravel.

“So I noticed you didn’t have your boyfriend’s jacket with you today. And you didn’t drive to school together. Everything okay with you guys?”

Sam stands there awkwardly for a moment. He’d forgotten to come up with a story of what happened between him and Dean.

“No. We actually broke up over the weekend.”

Greg nods, the excitement on his face barely being masked by sympathy.

“Ouch. Sorry about that. I heard he got expelled last week. It have anything to do with that?”

Sam is surprised that’s all Greg says. He guesses people really did have no idea that they were related.

“Yeah. Kind of. I told him I just couldn’t date anyone that didn’t have any real aspirations in life.”

Sam wasn’t sure why he said it. It wasn’t even that he was really lying. The only thing Dean aspired to was to kill as many monsters as possible. But it didn’t mean he didn’t feel bad about saying it. So Dean didn’t want to go to college, big deal. He was still one of the smartest people Sam had ever met. He’d be great at anything he decided to do. He didn’t need a high school diploma to prove how great of a person he was.

“I get ya. I'm sorry that happened. But on the plus side, there’s plenty of other fish in the sea.”

Sam gives him the best smile he can muster right now.

“You wanna have lunch with me today? I know you sat with your boyfriend before, but since he’s not around now I’d hate for you to sit by yourself. And I’d really love to have more chances to talk to you than just when we’re running laps and sweating our asses off. And hey, they say the best way to get over a breakup is to spend time with friends.”

A huge, genuine grin breaks out over Sam’s face.

“I’d love that! That would be great.”

“Great!” Greg says cheerily.

The twinkle in his blue eyes, and sparkling white smile has Sam’s heart racing again.

They close their lockers and head outside. Sam can’t wait for lunch.

When they do finally get to eat lunch together they talk about everything. Video games, movies, books, music, family, dogs. Greg could not be any more perfect in Sam’s eyes. Sam can’t wait until Dean picks him up so that he can tell him everything.

When Sam does finally get to tell him, Dean seems oddly unenthused.

“That’s great, Sam. It sounds like everything went really well.”

“What’s wrong, Dean? I thought you’d be really happy for me.”

Dean shakes himself. He’s usually better at hiding his disappointment. He plasters a big grin onto his face for Sam’s sake, and pretends to be happy for his little brother.

“I am. Really. I guess I’m just having a moment. My little princess is growing up.” Dean says as he ruffles Sam’s hair. Sam shoves his arm away.

“Very funny. Jerk.”

“I know I am, bitch.”

They go home, Sam does his homework, Dean makes dinner, and everything is normal. Except that it doesn’t feel normal at all. Dean is quiet, almost cold to him. He hardly speaks or looks at Sam the whole evening. They go to bed without having hardly five sentences uttered between them since they got home. Sam’s baffled, worried he did something that managed to make Dean angry, and he knows exactly what happens when he goes to bed worried about something.

Just as he fears, he’s woken up hours later by Dean.

“Sam! Sammy! Come on, wake up!”

Sam sits up and grips on to Dean’s shirt for dear life. He’s shaking like crazy, his shirt and face covered in sweat, tears still spilling down his damp cheeks. Dean wraps his arms around Sam and holds him, rocking him back and forth, and Sam curls into his chest.

“It’s okay, Sammy. It’s alright. I gotcha.”

“Dean…,” is all Sam can manage to croak out.

“Why don’t you sleep with me tonight, little brother. I’ll keep an eye on you.”

Sam cries himself back to sleep with Dean pressed against his back and an arm slung around him. Dean’s guilt keeps him up a while longer. He knows he’s the reason Sam had another nightmare.


	6. Dealing with the Effects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is discovering the consequences of his agreement and actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I got this one out a bit late. One will still be out tomorrow. Enjoy!

Dean wakes up the next morning to the feel of Sam grinding back against his dick. It’s not the kid’s fault. He’s very clearly just moving around in his sleep. Dean should blow it off, just get up, and go take his shower. He knows he should. That’s what he wishes he would do. Instead, he grabs Sam’s hip and moves his hips in tiny increments so that he’s rubbing himself off against Sam’s ass. It doesn’t take that long with Sam grinding back against him so perfectly, and him slowly pushing harder and harder against Sam; roughly sliding against Sam’s ass. He comes whispering Sam’s name into his hair, his little brother still sound asleep. He gently removes himself from Sam afterwards and quickly goes to take his shower.

Sam sits up when he hears the shower running. He woke up some time in the middle of Dean grinding against him and tried his absolute best not to make a single noise or movement the entire time, even though it felt great. He wanted to just let Dean have his release. He nearly came himself at the feel of Dean’s hot cock pulsing and throbbing against him through the thin layers of their boxers. Right now he was sporting the most painful boner of his life.

He can’t figure out what’s been happening between them. They’ve always been close. Nothing has ever really been off limits between the two of them since all they’ve ever had is each other. Yes, Sam probably learned some things from his brother that he ought not to have, but Dean was all he had. But this, whatever has been going on between them for the past week, this is something totally different that they’ve never encountered before. He’s almost tempted to ask Dean about it, but something in his gut tells him what a huge mistake it would be.

He hesitantly goes into the bathroom to brush his teeth, careful not to look at Dean. After a while, though, he just can’t help it.

He studies Dean in the mirror again, this time noticing things he never has. The total roundness of Dean’s ass, the firmness of his stomach and chest, the way water sluices down his face, making is lips so shiny and wet. Dean’s dick is pretty big, and hangs proudly between Dean’s muscular legs. He doesn’t have hardly any hair on his body, with the exception of the thatch right above his cock, making Sam wonder what his smooth, golden skin would feel like under Sam’s fingertips. The thought makes him shiver.

Then Sam’s eyes finally rest on the amulet sitting against Dean’s well defined chest. Sam hardly even notices it anymore. Dean’s never taken it off since the day Sam gave it to him. It’s a symbol of their unabated love for each other. But Sam never really thought about the fact that Dean wears it _all the time._ Which would include when he’s completely naked in the shower. Or when he’s having sex with someone. Or when he’s jerking off.

Dean catches Sam’s eyes in the mirror, and Sam really hopes the steam hides his blush. It’s getting harder for him to remember to breathe.

“You okay, Sam?” Dean’s voice is low and smooth.

Sam nods fervently and swallows before practically running from the bathroom. He’s completely dressed and fed by the time Dean is out of the shower.

“Mornin’, Sammy. Sleep okay?”

“Y-yeah.” Sam isn’t sure why he stutters, but for some reason talking to Dean right now feels a whole lot harder than it usually does.

“You had a pretty rough night, kiddo. One of the worst ones I’ve seen in a while. Wanna talk about it?”

Sam shakes his head. He doesn’t even remember the nightmare after the events of this morning, and he’s pretty sure that even if he did remember he wouldn’t want to talk about it.

Dean crosses the room and stands right in front of Sam, placing a hand on Sam’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze.

“You know you can tell me anything you need to, Sam. I’m never going to judge you. Not matter what it is, we can talk about it. You’re my baby brother and I’m here for you. It’s my job. Okay? Anytime you need anything you can just tell me.”

“Okay,” Sam answers quietly, “Thanks, Dean.”

Dean ruffles his hair and gives him a smile. They eat breakfast and then Dean drives him to school.

Sam hardly focuses on his other classes anymore. Not to say he’s not doing the work. It’s all easy enough for him, so he’s keeping up just fine. His mind is too busy focusing on Dean’s behavior and Greg to be able to retain much else these days.

He and Greg always spend their gym class together. They talk, and Greg makes him laugh. Although, when he does, Sam can’t help but compare it to the way Dean makes him laugh. With Dean it’s pretty effortless. He can have Sam rolling on the ground out of breath until he’s nearly having a fit and snorting like crazy. It’s not as real as the way Dean makes him laugh, but he enjoys it.

They eat lunch together again, and this time they sit at his and Dean’s old table by themselves instead of Greg’s usual one with all of his friends. Sam wonders why, but he doesn’t ask. They’re walking out of the cafeteria together when Greg grabs Sam’s arm and pulls him aside.

“So, listen. I know this is kind of forward of me, and that you just broke up with your boyfriend and everything, but I was wondering if you’d like to go see a movie with me tonight?”

Sam gives him a shocked look.

“Like…like a date?”

Greg shakes his head like he’s disappointed with himself.

“I’m sorry. It’s too soon, right? I am being too forward. Just forget I asked. I’m an idiot. We could just-“

“No!” Sam interjects loudly to get Greg’s attention. “No, I just, I didn’t think you were seriously interested.”

Greg laughs.

“Of course I am. Don’t you remember when I said I would kiss you in public if _I_ had the chance?”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“I like you, Sam. A lot. Would you be interested in going out with me?”

“Yeah! Yes, I’d love to.”

Greg gives Sam a huge genuine smile. Not as pretty as when Dean smiles, but still a nice smile.

“Great. Can I pick you up tonight? Around seven?”

“Yeah, that’d be great.” 

Sam writes down his address and just as the bell rings for the end of lunch Greg leans over and kisses Sam’s cheek.

“See you tonight!” He calls as he leaves the cafeteria.

Sam blushes and touches his cheek, waving pathetically after Greg. He finds it a whole lot harder to focus on school after that. He’s practically bursting when he gets into the Impala at the end of the day.

“He asked me out! We’re going out tonight! He’s picking me up and everything.”

“Whoa, whoa! Slow your roll, kiddo. Let’s get some facts here.” Dean says sternly, bringing his happy mood down a few pegs.

“About what?”

“Well, what exactly did he say? And what time is the date, because you need to do your homework first. And you’re not going to see an R- rated movie, just the two of you.”

Sam’s irritation is growing.

“He asked if he could take me to a movie tonight. I said yes and gave him our address. He said he’d pick me up tonight around eight. So you should probably park the Impala around the block.”

“You have an actual date with him? Already?”

Sam is looking at Dean with an expression that’s a cross between confusion and anger.

“Yes. Dean, this was the whole point of the plan. You’ve even been coaching me on it. What’s your problem?”

Dean goes on the defensive.

“I don’t have a problem, _Samuel_. Calm the fuck down. I just thought it was a little fast. Kid doesn’t waste much time. I’m just trying to make sure he’s not one of those little jackasses that talks a lot of shit just so they can get laid.”

Sam is getting angrier each time Dean seems to open his mouth.

“Why is that always what you think when anyone might be interested in me? Suddenly everyone turns into a sleazy jerk. Am I not good enough for anyone? Am I just supposed to be a lonely little nerd for the rest of my life?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Sam. That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Well, what are you saying?! You always think the worst of people, Dean! That’s why _you_ can’t ever have real relationships! Just because you only want to hook up with people and are too scared to actually love anyone doesn’t mean everyone is like that! Greg isn’t like _you_. You don’t even know him, so how about you try giving him a chance before you start judging him, jerk!”

Sam hears the creak of the steering wheel as Dean’s hands tighten on it. And Dean is just about ready to explode. If only Sam knew the half of it.

“You better watch your fucking mouth, Sam. Don’t forget, _little brother_ , you wouldn’t even have this date right now if it weren’t for me. Now, I strongly suggest you shut the hell up before you say something I’m gonna make you regret. I don’t want to hear any more of your shit for the rest of the drive. You’re lucky you have plans tonight, otherwise I’d kick your ass for being such a little brat.”

Sam is fuming, but he doesn’t say another word. He hardly waits for Dean to put the car in park before he storms into the house. Dean rolls his eyes when he gets in the house and hears Sam slam the bedroom door.

Sam doesn’t come out of his room until hours later when there’s a honk that comes from outside. He’s running to the door when Dean calls out to him.

“Sam, wait!”

Sam’s hand drops from the doorknob and he turns around with an annoyed look on his face. Dean walks up to him, staring down at him and looking rather annoyed himself, but he pulls a twenty dollar bill from his pocket and hands it to Sam.

“Have fun.” Dean bites out in a tone that says he wants Sam to do anything but.

All the same, Sam feels guilty. All the mean things he said to his brother and Dean’s still looking out for him.

“Thanks.”

Dean pulls Sam into a quick hug, then turns around and walks back to the couch. Sam doesn’t see his face, but just from the brief moment of being pressed against him he can feel from the tension in Dean’s body that there’s a million things that are bothering him.

Sam doesn’t say anything else, just shuts the door and gets into Greg’s car. The moment Dean hears them pull away he goes to the cabinet pulling out a bottle of whiskey. He knew this was what was supposed to happen with Sam and this kid, but it doesn’t make it any easier. All of his preparation does not make it hurt any less, does not make him sick to his stomach any less when he thinks about Greg’s hands on Sam.

Sam has a lot of fun. But then, anything normal is fun for him. They get ice cream after the cheesy action movie and have the chance to talk a little bit more.

“So tell me more about your family. You said your dad travels a lot, which is probably why I’ve never seen him, but what about your brother? What is he like?”

Sam’s face heats up. He forgot he told Greg during one of their talks in gym that he had a brother. He should’ve just kept his mouth shut. Now he’ll have to talk about Dean, only he has to talk about his _brother_ Dean, without making it sound like his “ex- boyfriend” Dean.

“Well, he practically raised me. He’s the strongest, toughest person I know. He’s the only person who knows what I’m thinking all the time. He might even know me better than I know myself. He makes me laugh all the time. He can be a huge jerk sometimes, but he’s the best person I’ve ever known. He likes to pretend to be a hardass, but he’s really sweet, and kind, and caring. He’s always looked out for me. He’s really smart, and is like a genius when it comes to building things. Sometimes it blows my mind. I’ve never known anyone like him. He’s my best friend.”

Sam finishes talking, and for some reason he feels butterflies fluttering around his stomach. He can’t figure out why he’d have then now, though. He didn’t have them the entire time during their date, so why now?

He’s just sitting there awkwardly now, realizing Greg might think he’s weird for talking about Dean as much as he did.

“He sounds like a good guy. Can I meet him sometime?”

Sam freezes instantly, searching his head for some sort of believable excuse.

“Yeah. Maybe. One day, perhaps. He’s out of town right now with our dad, but maybe when he gets back. Sometime before we leave.”

Greg looks down at his milkshake for a moment before looking back at Sam and reaching out to grab his hand.

“I really wish you didn’t have to leave. We’re just getting to know each other, and I really like you. I’d even ask you to be my boyfriend if you stayed.”

Sam’s eyes go wide, and he gets plenty excited, but there aren’t any butterflies there like there were a minute ago. He doesn’t understand it.

“Really?”

“Absolutely.”

They make more small talk, and a little while later Greg drops Sam back off.

“So, I was wondering if you’d like to hang out again tomorrow. Maybe at the library? I know that’s not super romantic for a date or anything, but I thought maybe, you know, if you wanted.”

Sam’s heart soars a little at that. He knew Greg was a great guy.

“I’d love to. After school then?”

“Sounds good.”

Greg gives him a sweet smile.

He leans over quickly and grabs Sam’s chin, and if Sam’s being honest it’s just a little too hard, but he remains still. Greg kisses him sweetly; a press of lips that doesn’t last longer than a few seconds before he’s pulling away. Sam’s eyes never close, and he can’t help but think that’s odd. And Greg’s lips aren’t as plush as Dean’s, but they’re still nice. He gives Sam a shy smile when their eyes meet again.

“G’night, Sam. See you tomorrow.”

“Night.”

Sam smiles back at him and gets out of the car. Once he’s in the house he has every intention of ignoring Dean and going straight to bed, but when he gets into their room he finds Dean sitting on the floor against _his_ bed, what remains of a bottle of whiskey in his hand.

“Dean? What the hell, man? What are you doing?”

Dean doesn’t even bother to look at him.

“The fuck does it look like I’m doing?”

Dean’s words are slurred and sloppy coming out of his mouth.

“It looks like you’re drunk on a Tuesday night. What are you thinking?”

“Was thinking I was lonely, and there’s not shit to do around here, so I found something to do.”

Dean tries to get up and stumbles, falling against Sam. Sam wraps his arms around him, doing his best to support his brother’s weight. He’s annoyed and is very tempted to drop Dean. He can’t fault his brother, though. Dean has had a rough week and he does get lonely. He only ever says so when he’s drunk, and Sam will do whatever he can to help when Dean lets him. And right now his guilt is obligating him to take care of his brother.

“You’re such an idiot sometimes. Jesus, Dean. Let’s get your drunk ass in bed.”

Sam positions them over the bed so that he can let go and Dean will just fall on to the mattress. Dean sprawls out in a drunken mess and is asleep within seconds. Sam takes off his boots, but leaves his brother fully dressed. He goes to change and then climbs into his bed, falling asleep to Dean’s drunken snoring.


	7. Never a Good Color

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How much longer can Dean just stand by?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've said it before, but thank you, thank you, thank you guys for reading! It truly means so much that you guys are enjoying my writing. I so deeply appreciate it!
> 
> Now, I have some (maybe?) good news. I thought I would be able to end this story in ten chapters, but I don't think that's going to happen. The way it's going it will be a few longer in order for me to truly be happy with that. Now for the bad news. The last couple chapters are going to be very tricky, so I won't be able to get them out as quickly. I'm going to try my hardest, but I don't really have a time table. I will continue to post the chapters I have done over the next few days, though.
> 
> Enjoy!

Sam wakes up the next morning to find Dean still asleep. He showers and makes the coffee and some toast for him and Dean. When his brother finally trudges into the kitchen he looks like he got hit by a train.

“Morning.” Sam says cheerily.

Dean grunts back grumpily in reply, downing his first cup of coffee in under a minute. He nibbles on his toast and sips at his second cup as Sam packs up his bag for school.

“Dean?” He says softly.

Dean turns to him with a look that Sam knows means Dean wants him to shut the hell up.

“I know you’re hungover, but would you mind driving me to school? If I walk there I’ll be late. Please?”

Sam asks him so sweetly that Dean couldn’t possibly say no. And he knows he owes Sam for putting him to bed last night.

He grabs his jacket off the back of his chair and walks out to the car, not even bothering to put on shoes. Sam grabs his bag and follows. They pull up a few blocks from the school a short time later.

“Thanks, Dean. And you don’t need to pick me up today. Greg and I are going to the library after school. He’s going to drive me home after.”

“What?” It’s the first time Dean has spoken this morning and it comes out rough and icy. “When were you going to tell me this?”

Sam is confused by Dean’s anger. He can’t figure out what Dean’s deal is the past two days.

“Just now, Dean. That’s why I told you. What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is that you’re fourteen, Sam. You can’t just go running around with some guy whenever you feel like. You need to ask me first. And what the hell are you going to the library for?”

“To study, Dean. Like _normal_ human beings do.”

“Don’t start, Sam. It’s early and I have a headache.”

“Well, whose fault is that?”

Sam goes to close the door, but Dean just can’t stop himself from opening his mouth.

“Sam, wait!”

Sam pauses, his hand still on the top of the door. Dean’s stomach tightens.

“Listen, I don’t wanna start a fight here, man, but maybe this kid isn’t good for you.”

Sam is stunned. He isn’t even sure that he’s heard Dean right. It takes him a few seconds, but he manages to recover.

“What? What are you talking about? Where is this even coming from?”

Dean isn’t sure what to say. He hates himself for doing this. He doesn’t want to keep Sam from being happy, and he really wants Sam to live the life a normal kid his age should. He has no real reason for Sam wanting to end things with Greg, other than the fact that he himself wants to be the one with Sam. And there’s no way he can tell his little brother that. But it won’t stop him from trying to talk Sam out of this, even if it makes him feel like shit.

“I don’t know. I just think you’re too good for him,” is what comes out of Dean’s mouth. It’s not the worst thing he could’ve said, and it is true.

“Why are you doing this, Dean? I’m happy. Is that so terrible? Do you just want me to miserable for the rest of my life?”

Sam sounds so hurt that it makes Dean’s heart ache.

“Of course not. I just don’t want you to settle. You are so out of that kid’s league and I just want you to be with someone who makes you really happy. Someone who is right for you. Someone to love you and look out for you.” _Someone like me_ , is what he wants he so desperately wants to confess, so he says instead, “I just don’t think he’s the right fit for you.”

Sam can’t understand where this is coming from. Dean’s never even spoken to Greg. How could he possibly know if Greg’s good for Sam or not.

“Please don’t do this, Dean. Don’t try to ruin this for me.”

“It isn’t like that, Sam.”

Sam soft and pleading look turns to something hardened and resentful.

“You _always_ do this, Dean. I know you and dad think I’m just some dumb kid, but you can’t keep me locked away forever!”

Dean grits his teeth and bites out a “whatever.” Sam slams the door shut and watches as his brother speeds away, tires screaming against the pavement.

Dean was right. It does make him feel like shit.

He’s pissed the entire morning and can barely manage to pay attention. He barely manages to finish a test because he’s too distracted by all the things he wants to scream at Dean when he gets home. It’s not until gym when he finally cools down, his easy conversation with Greg making him forget his horrible morning.

By the time lunch is over Sam has forgotten all about his fight with Dean. Greg even takes the time to walk Sam to class, kissing him on the cheek before saying he’d see Sam at the end of the day in the parking lot. Sam can hardly wait.

When the final bell rings Sam practically runs to his locker, shoving his books in his backpack as fast as he possibly can before making his way out to the parking lot. Greg is waiting next to his blue Mustang. Sam supposes it’s a nice car. It’s not what he’d ever pick, and it’s certainly no ’67 Impala, but the color is nice and almost matches Greg’s eyes.

They stop at the same diner they went to the night before, Greg even pays for Sam’s meal this time. Sam wonders if Dean will have made dinner and considers ordering a cheeseburger for him.

They make another stop at the park, walking along one of the more secluded paths. At one point Greg grabs his hand.

“Sorry. Too much?”

Sam just looks down at where their hands are joined and then smiles back at him.

“Definitely not,” he responds and laces their fingers together.

Greg’s hands are soft, and lack the calluses Sam is so used to. His palm is a little sweaty, but Sam doesn’t mind. Sam waits for the butterflies to stir up in his stomach, but they never come.

They finally head to the library once it starts to get dark. The town is fairly small, so the library really isn’t all that busy. Greg leads him to a table toward the back behind a bunch of shelves. Sam takes out his notes and Greg does the same.

He gets some serious studying done for about an hour, even though most of that time is spent trying to ignore the way Greg is playing footsie with him under the table. Sam thinks it’s goofy and childish, but no more so than the obnoxious things Dean does that get on his nerves, and he has plenty of practice studying through that. At least Greg isn’t throwing snow caps at him, even though they are Sam’s favorite candy. Dean always bought them for him instead of the licorice for himself.

When Greg pulls his foot away he stands up and asks Sam to help him find a book.

He grabs Sam’s hand and pulls him into an aisle full of references, slamming him up against the shelves. Sam’s back will probably have a bruise tomorrow. He grips Sam’s shoulders presses his mouth to Sam’s neck before Sam even knows what’s happening. It’s not a kiss. Greg is really just licking and sucking the skin. It feels a little strange to Sam, not like when Dean was doing it, but he enjoys it. His eyes slide closed and he lets Greg continue, his hands still pressing insistently at Sam’s shoulders. His heart jumps when he feels Greg begin to grind against him and he wraps his arms around Greg’s middle. It feels awkward to Sam, like Greg is trying too hard, but Sam has never done this with anyone, so maybe it’s normal.

Minutes go by with Greg digging bruises into Sam’s skin, and he’s rutting fast and desperate against Sam. It’s not enough for it to be good for Sam, but he guesses that Greg is enjoying it by the way his mouth is still attacking Sam’s neck. He’s not sucking hard enough to leave a mark, and now it just feels wet and tacky and kind of gross.

Sam wonders how Dean would do it. He’s seen plenty of evidence on the girls that Dean’s hooked up at school the morning after. They were always dark and rather noticeable, and many times he would catch the girls reaching up their fingers to brush along the bruises as if the motion itself could make them feel Dean against them again.

Suddenly his nerves feel alight everywhere on his body. It makes him shake the slightest bit. His eyes stay closed, but he doesn’t even notice when his arms fall from around Greg’s waist.

After a little while Sam opens his eyes. The dry humping isn’t doing much more for Sam than getting him half hard, and they’re in a library for goodness sake.

Sam lifts his wrist and glances at his watch as Greg continues.

“Um, doesn’t the library close soon? We should probably get going. And I have to finish my homework.” He says as he pulls as far away from Greg as the confined space allows.

Greg doesn’t respond, though. Just moves back in and bites roughly at Sam’s neck, hard enough to make him squeak. Sam hears him rumble out “I’m almost there” in a rough voice and he isn’t sure what Greg is talking about until about thirty seconds later when his hand drop to squeeze Sam’s hip, the other squeezing Sam’s ass, and his teeth bite down on Sam’s shoulder just a little too hard. His thrusts slow and become a shuddering movement of hips, and then he’s coming right there in his pants, pressed up against Sam in the library.

Sam is confused about the whole thing. First of all, he feels really skeezy for having just done that in a library. Second, Greg just came while pressed up against him. And third, there wasn’t a single time while they were doing that that Greg had kissed him. Something about that feels very wrong to Sam.

He lets Greg recover for another moment before clearing his throat.

“Greg, I really gotta get home.”

The look on Greg’s face kind of looks like annoyance before it fixes itself into agreement.

“Alright. I was just hoping for a little bit longer with you, but I understand. I’ll take you home.”

Sam walks away briskly before Greg can start kissing him again and packs up his things.

They pull up to his house a short time later and Greg turns off the car and turns to Sam.

“I really like hanging out with you, Sam. And I thought today was really fun. Would you want to do something tomorrow? Maybe over here? My mom is always home, but since your dad and your brother are gone we could have some alone time.”

Sam is really confused when he feels his stomach drop. Probably because he’s never gotten to this point before. With anyone. He hasn’t really thought this out enough to even consider that Greg would want to have sex with him. How is he supposed to do this? He has no idea what he’s doing.

“Uh, yeah. Sure. Sounds good. Why don’t you come over tomorrow around eight?”

“Great.”

Greg gives what he guesses is supposed to be a sultry smile, but after seeing Dean’s for so long nothing could possibly compare.

He leans over and plants one kiss right on Sam’s lips. Sam isn’t expecting it and jumps, causing him to bite down on his own tongue. This kiss is hungrier than the other few they’ve shared, harder and far too wet, but thankfully it doesn’t last long. He gets out and says goodnight to Greg and makes his way into the house, dropping his bag by the door and locking up behind him, setting his key on the table.

He doesn’t see Dean, but he can hear him snoring. And loudly, at that. He peeks over the back of the couch and sees his brother passed out face down, another bottle of whiskey lying on the floor, what remained of its contents sitting in a small puddle. Sam sighs and makes his way to kneel beside Dean. His brother is still wearing the same clothes he was in yesterday.

“Dean,” he calls softly as he shakes his brother’s shoulder, “Dean, come on. Let’s get you to bed.” He shakes a little harder until Dean finally opens his eyes.

“Sammy? ‘S ‘at you?” His words are slurring and Sam knows he’s still drunk.

“Yeah, Dean, it’s me. Come on. Get up. Time for bed.”

“Didn’t think you’d be home so soon. Thought you’d rather spend all your time with Greg. You must’ve had fun. You smell like him. Kinda makes me sick. And I bet he’s a shitty kisser. He looks like he would be.”

If Sam didn’t know any better, he would say Dean sounds…it can’ be jealousy. Maybe angry or disappointed? It pisses Sam off a little. Dean has no right to be angry with him. If anyone should be angry it should be Sam. But he bites his tongue and glares at his brother instead, not that it makes much of a difference right now.

It takes Sam nearly five minutes to get Dean onto his feet and just as long to finally get him into the bedroom. He stops next to Dean’s bed and tries to shift Dean’s weight so that he’ll fall straight into his bed. But when he does let Dean go, he drags Sam down with him. Sam lands on top of Dean in a heap. He struggles and pushes against Dean’s chest, trying to get himself up, but Dean wraps his arms around him and keeps him still.

“Come on, Dean. This isn’t funny.”

“Not supposed to be, little brother.”

Dean’s voice is all smoke and gravel. He’s heard this voice, but he’s never been on the receiving end of it, and it sends a shudder down his spine. It’s low and dangerous and hotter than hell. Sam has never been more confused in his life.

“Dean, let me go.” He struggles again.

“Don’t want to. Want to keep you as mine forever. You’re _mine,_ Sam. _My_ little brother. You belong to _me_. Not that guy. You can’t leave me, Sammy. Don’t ever leave me.”

He pulls Sam in tighter, practically wrapping his arms around him twice. He tucks his face into Sam’s neck and kisses along his throat and jaw. Sam can’t help the whimper as Dean bites down roughly, and knows it’s going to leave a bruise. He can feel his dick rising in his boxers. Dean spreads his legs so that Sam falls between them. Their hips align and their cocks brush lightly through the layers of denim and Sam can’t figure out why it feels so much better than it did with Greg. Dean untwines one arm from around Sam and slides it down his back, squeezing and groping Sam’s ass.

“Dean,” Sam moans out. Why does it feel so much better now than when he and Greg were doing it just a little while ago?

“Don’t leave me.” Dean says again, this time the softest whisper.

Both his hands are now gripping the back of Sam’s head, so that he can’t look anywhere other than Dean’s glassy, green eyes. Sam sees so much there. Desperation. Frustration. Dean never shows weakness, but Sam can always see the pain and loneliness Dean feels in his eyes.

“I won’t, Dean. I swear. Not ever. Now get some sleep.”

Dean kisses his temple once before falling backward on to the bed. He releases Sam, and is asleep almost immediately. Sam extracts himself from Dean and finally feels like he can breathe again for the first time since he got home.

He decides to take a shower, jerking off fast and rough, still so hard from his and Dean’s strange encounter. He’s scared and ashamed and baffled, and he wants more than anything to talk to Dean about this and ask what’s happening, except this is all happening because of Dean.

He gets dressed and heads out to finish his homework. Two hours go by and Sam has only completed two math problems. He can’t help but think about what’s going on with Dean. Their father has always been the big drinker, but Dean isn’t. It’s strange for him to be drinking two nights in a row. And why has he been so mad at Sam the past few days? What had changed that Sam hasn’t realized?

And then there’s what just happened. This wasn’t like the other night on the couch. It was deliberate and intentional, but Sam still couldn’t find it strange. Why was Dean acting this way when he never had before?

Sam gives up on his homework a short time later and decides to climb into Dean’s bed, eventually falling asleep to the sound of Dean’s loud, alcohol- induced snoring.

For a second it seems like any other night, and he can almost pretend things are normal. Like nothing out of the ordinary at all has happened between him and Dean. He even almost manages to convince himself, until Dean rolls over and wraps his arm around Sam out of habit. Sam can feel every inch of Dean pressed up against him, and he’s absolutely scorching; the alcohol warming his blood and increasing the amount of body heat he gives off. He has no idea how he’ll be able to face Dean tomorrow.


	8. Like Old Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has come to a conclusion that could solve everyone's problems. At least that's what he believes. But things are never that simple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you guys are tired of hearing this, but thank you so much for continuing to read! I can't put into words how grateful I am to you guys. It's been so awesome getting so many comments and I deeply appreciate that you guys take the time to let me know your thoughts on the story. 
> 
> I'm really excited to about these next few chapters! They were some of my favorite to write and I loved every second of it. Even though sometimes it was somewhat exhausting. I hope you guys enjoy reading them as much as I did writing them!
> 
> Ok, now onto chapter 8. Enjoy!

Dean wakes up with a killer headache and a pit in his stomach. He needs a shower and coffee before he even tries to do anything else. Once those are out of the way, he takes a minute to himself before he wakes Sam up.

He was plenty drunk last night to do the stupid shit he did, but there is no circumstance where Dean could do what he did with Sam and then forget about it. Even if part of him wishes he could. He’s just wanted Sam for so long. Still, he’s absolutely disgusted with himself for letting his desires overcome him last night and make him take advantage of his little brother the way he did. He should’ve never gotten that drunk.

He’s corrupting Sam. And at this rate his brother is going to turn out fucked up because of him. He can do what’s right for Sam. He can. He can leave. He can leave and stay as far away from Sam as possible. But he can’t have his brother hate him for what he’s doing to him.

He’ll leave tonight. He has to. He’ll call his dad and tell him to come pick up Sam when he finishes his hunt, and Dean will be long gone. He’ll start hunting on his own, and he won’t look back. He can survive without Sam if he really tries. And even if he can’t, he’ll make himself.

As much as he’d like to avoid his brother right now, he has to wake the kid up, lest he be late for school, and the little nerd would be pissed if Dean made him late.

“Sammy, gotta get up. Time for school. Come on. Go take your shower,” he says as he strokes Sam’s head, feeling the silky strands slide between his fingers.

“Took one last night,” Sam grumbles out in a sleep soaked voice.

“Alright, well just get up. I made coffee and eggs, and you better have finished all your homework after you went out on your date last night, you little shit.” Dean tries to sound playful, but the memory of Sam being out with that kid last night and the way Sam smelled like him makes jealousy burn hot in Dean’s stomach.

Sam sits up and Dean is finally able to see the damage from last night. Sam’s got a pretty sizeable bruise on his jaw from where Dean bit him, and one just under it on his throat. Dean goes absolutely rigid, but he has to play stupid. He doesn’t need any more questions from Sam about his actions. He’s already this close to jumping the kid’s bones.

“Wow. That’s a pretty serious bruise. What happened there, kiddo? Your new boyfriend as big of a klutz as you?” Dean wills himself not to touch his brother’s face and instead grips his coffee mug tighter.

Sam gives him a confused look, and Dean knows he’s trying to relay through his eyes that he thinks Dean’s a complete and total idiot.

“You don’t remember?”

Sam really can’t tell if he’s serious, or if he’s bullshitting.

“Well, I didn’t see you much yesterday, Sammy. You spent the whole day running around town with that little nitwit you like so much.” Dean hopes to god he’s being convincing right now.

“Uh, yeah. Oh, I mean, I got it last night. From Greg. It’s a hickey.”

Sam has no idea why he says that instead of telling Dean the truth, and the moment Dean hears it, his blood turns white hot. He wants to punch the wall, or Sam, or that fucking Greg kid. Obviously Dean knows exactly where the bruise came from, but the thought that Sam would lie and say it was Greg, the thought that Greg could very likely have been doing that to his brother, it makes him see red.

“Oh,” Dean says through gritted teeth, “I see. Well, get ready for school. Now.”

Dean walks back out to the kitchen, but Sam can hear the shattering of glass from all the way in the bedroom. When he goes to eat breakfast, he sees what’s left of what he thinks is Dean’s mug in the trash.

They don’t talk the rest of the morning, including while Dean drives him to school. It’s not until Sam’s getting out of the car that he remembers he has something to tell Dean.

“I forgot to tell you, but Greg’s coming over tonight. We have another date. Is there any way you could make yourself scarce? Give us some space? I know you’re not terribly fond of him, but it’d mean a lot to me.”

There it is. The sound of Dean’s entire world crumbling down. His heart drops into his stomach and his hands tighten on the steering wheel. It physically hurts Dean to put a smile on his face and agree to Sam’s wishes. This was the plan all along. This was why he did everything to help Sam. He should be proud right now, not envious.

None of it matters. Dean won’t even be around tonight, anyway, but he still hates what’s undoubtedly going to happen between Sam and that kid. Even if it is better for Sam this way.

“Sure, Sam. No problem.” Dean has never had a faker smile cross his face.

Sam nods at him and goes to close the door, but this will be one of the last times Dean ever gets to see his baby brother, and he doesn’t want to waste a moment of it.

“Sam!”

Sam opens the door back up and sticks his head back in.

“I’m sorry. For the past couple of days. I know I was a dick. You know I’m just trying to look out for you. Sometimes I just go kinda crazy, you know?”

Sam nods and gives him an understanding smile.

“Yeah, believe me, I know. And I know you just want to make sure I’m alright. You’re a good brother, Dean. But every now and then you can be a huge jerk.” Sam says, giving him a playful smile.

“Yeah, whatever, bitch.”

Sam laughs and shuts the door, sticking his tongue out at Dean as he walks off. Dean laughs and pulls away. He bites his lip and forces himself to hold back tears. He feels like he’s choking. The thought that he’s going to… that he _has_ to leave Sam forever…it’s like a part of him is dying.

He spends the day packing what little he has and cooking. Sticking things in the fridge and freezer with cooking directions for Sam. He buys a new phone, leaving their old one out for Sam. This way he’ll have Sam’s number, but Sam won’t have his. He can’t call their dad until he’s on the road, otherwise he’ll just talk Dean into staying.

He gets out what is left of the money their dad gave them, and takes half of his own savings and puts it in an envelope, sticking it to the fridge. It should easily hold Sam over for the next two weeks until their dad comes to pick him up. He writes Sam a note, explaining some things, but leaving out everything Sam really doesn’t need to know, and tucks it inside the envelope with the money. He sits on the couch and stares at the tv, his fingers toying with his amulet until it’s time to pick up Sam.

When Sam gets to school Greg is waiting for him.

“Hey, Sam! Shit, what the hell happened to you? You look really banged up.” Greg points out rather bluntly.

Sam’s hand reflexively flies to his jaw. He didn’t even think to cover up the bruises. Or maybe subconsciously he just didn’t want to. Dean has the amulet to prove he belongs to Sam, but what does Sam have to prove he’s Dean’s? But now he’s just embarrassed at the childish notion.

“What? Oh, right. I got in a fight with my brother last night.”

“I thought you said you guys were close? And isn’t he out of town?”

Sam is scrounging for some type of excuse.

“Yeah, but he got back last night. Normally we get along fine, but he gets kind of rough when he’s been drinking.”

Sam’s mind provides a particularly interesting flashback of exactly how Dean was rough with him last night, and he can feel his face fill with blood.

“Oh,” Greg says somewhat awkwardly, “is that normal for him?”

Sam gets where he’s going with this, and immediately tries to rectify his botched explanation.

“No! He doesn’t hit me. At least not regularly. He’s not like that. And this was my fault really. I was putting him to bed last night and just kind of fell. It was just a clumsy moment. But I’m fine. Really. Dean would never hurt me.”

Greg gives him a reassured smile and lets out a relieved sigh.

“Okay, good. I just don’t want to see anything bad happen to you, you know?”

As if anything _could_ happen to him with Dean around. But Sam gives him a returning smile and nods. Greg gently grips Sam’s chin, careful to avoid the bruise, and kisses him right there in front of everyone. There’s a few whistles, but Sam ignores them.

“So, does this mean we have to put our plans for tonight on hold?”

He doesn’t bother to hide his disappointment, but Sam shakes his head.

“No, my brother said he’d get lost while we hang out. He’s cool that way.”

Greg smiles again and nods.

He meets Sam outside of every one of his classes now, just as Dean had. Greg’s arm is around his shoulders possessively the whole time, and Sam’s not sure how he feels about it.

They run together in gym and eat lunch together outside. Sam can’t help but find it a little unnerving to have someone follow him around all the time that isn’t Dean, but he doesn’t totally mind. Greg is just so cute. Even with his bright blue eyes that are not the color of jade and sunlight. He does have a nice smile, though. His lips aren’t as soft looking or as pink as Dean’s, but it’s still a nice mouth. And if Sam’s being completely honest, he wouldn’t mind if Greg had a few freckles.

No, Sam isn’t sure why he keeps comparing Greg to Dean. He likes Greg, really he does. And Dean is his _brother_. He’s going to stop comparing them any moment. It’s just that he can’t help but wish every moment he spends with Greg was a moment he was spending with Dean instead. Sam has no idea what’s wrong with him.

Greg grabs his hand as they walk out of school together that afternoon and pulls Sam to him, giving him a rough kiss that’s more similar to the one from last night than the much softer one this morning. Sam winces as Greg’s thumb presses deeper into the bruise. The kiss is dominating and far too wet, and Sam doesn’t enjoy it at all. When Greg pulls away he doesn’t apologize to Sam, just gives him a sly smile.

“See you tonight,” he says in what Sam assumes is supposed to be a seductive tone, but Sam’s heard seductive, and that’s not it. He squeezes Sam’s ass once before walking away. The gesture is controlling and greedy and brutish. It kind of pisses Sam off and just about forces him to choke back bile. Why was it not repulsive when Dean did it?

“Yeah, see you tonight.”

Sam is somewhat unsettled by the hungry look in Greg’s eyes. He can easily spot the desperate lust in the sapphire blue pools, but he also sees something else there. Something he can’t quite place, but sends a chill down his spine nonetheless. He thinks maybe he’s just seeing things. His nerves have him so on edge that now he must be just overthinking everything.

He walks the few blocks to where Dean picks him up and gets in the car. The tension between them is palpable, and if Sam’s stomach isn’t turning enough after his goodbye with Greg, Dean’s demeanor has it practically trying to escape his body.

“What’s wrong?”

Dean looks at him as if he’s just noticed Sam is in the car with him, but for all Sam knows maybe he is just now noticing.

“Nothing. I’m fine. Why would anything be wrong?” Dean responds a little too quickly.

“I don’t know. You tell me. You’re the one that looks like his puppy just ran away.”

Dean gives him a look.

“Very funny. I specifically remember someone bawling like a baby when they had to leave their precious Bones behind in Flagstaff, and that someone was not me, Samantha.”

“He was a good dog! And don’t talk about Bonesy. I still feel bad leaving him behind.”

Dean rolls his eyes.

“Whatever. How was school, dork?”

“Fine.”

Dean swallows roughly and forces himself to ask.

“You excited for tonight?”

Sam swallows audibly.

“I guess so.”

Dean grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. He can’t look at Sam, so he stares out the window as he continues to talk.

“Listen, I know this is supposed to be a big night for you, or whatever. I don’t know what exactly you have planned.” Dean has to swallow again. “You know I lost my virginity when I was close to your age, but that doesn’t mean _you_ have to. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. Don’t let anybody pressure you before you’re ready. Okay, Sammy. And just… remember to use a condom, alright?”

Sam is beet red now, but Dean’s a little flushed as well. He can’t believe he’s now trying talking his little brother _out_ of sex. But hell, if it’s going to happen then Sam can at least be smart about it.

“Jesus, Dean, I know! Are we really going to have ‘the talk’ again?!”

“No. I just… I just need to make sure you’re okay.”

Dean goes quiet, and the tension is back in the car ten-fold. Sam’s stomach starts turning again. He’s staring at Dean and Dean is intentionally avoiding his eyes. He needs to know what’s going on with his brother.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Dean?”

Dean finally looks at him a moment later with a sad smile on his face.

“I’m fine, Sam.”

It doesn’t make Sam feel any better, but he lets it go.

They drive in silence until Dean pulls up to an empty park.

“What are we doing?” Sam asks completely confused.

“Remember when I used to take you to the park all the time when you were little? There would always be one close to the motels we’d stay in.” Dean is staring out the windshield, but he’s not really seeing. Sam knows he’s remembering all those times he’s talking about.

“Yeeeaah?” He’s making Sam more nervous by the second.

“Hmm,” is all Dean says, like he's reflecting back on something Sam should really remember, but just can't.

He turns around and reaches over the seat to grab a football, then gets out of the car like this isn’t the weirdest thing Sam’s ever seen him do. Sam just sits there completely perplexed.

“Come on, Sam!”

Dean waves him over to the big grassy field he’s standing in. Sam huffs out a sigh before getting out and following after his brother. They play catch for a while, until eventually it just becomes a game of who can tackle whom. They run around playing tag, race across the field, have a pull up contest on the monkey bars, even play hide and seek. After a while they finally take a break, sitting at one of the picnic tables and just talk. Dean is never just this easy and open with him. At least not lately. Sam could not be any happier.


	9. One Moment...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One way or another, things will change forever for the Winchester brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, once again I have to thank everyone for reading. I am so incredibly grateful, I cannot even say. I've loved getting every single comment and opinion. I so truly appreciate each and every one of you.
> 
> Really quickly, I just wanted to apologize to you guys about a couple of things. First, my stories are not beta read. Although I'm constantly editing, nobody else sees or reads these before they go out. If there are any typos or areas that just don't make sense, I'm sorry about that. And second, I initially really wanted to keep my stories consistent in length, but now they're kind of all over the place. I hope you guys aren't too upset by that.
> 
> So anyway, enjoy chapter 9!

When they get home, Dean parks around the block. It’s nearly six thirty, and Sam’s date will be here in less than two hours. Sam follows Dean into the house at a glacial pace. When he finally makes it into the kitchen, he feels like he’s going to be sick. He’s not actually sure how long he’s standing there when he hears his brother call out to him.

“-for dinner, Sam?”

Sam doesn’t catch what Dean says. He’s got other things on his mind. He has to swallow a half a dozen times before he opens his mouth.

“Dean?” Sam says in a cautious tone.

Dean freezes. He knows that tone. Does Sam notice something odd with him? He knows Sam knows him better than anyone on earth, but could the kid really sense what Dean is up to? He’d hid his bag in the trunk. And there isn’t any evidence that Sam should’ve noticed, unless he opened the fridge or their dresser drawers.

“Yeah, Sam?”

He continues prepping dinner with what’s left in the house that hasn’t already been cooked. He turns around when he senses Sam standing in the kitchen doorway. His little brother is just staring at him, and Dean is hoping Sam’s eyes don’t find the letter on the fridge.

“Dean… I know I’ve asked you for so much already, and you’ve been an amazing big brother helping me out with everything…but I need to ask one more favor.”

Dean relaxes a little.

“You aren’t asking me anything until you’re showered and fed. You stink. You don’t want to be smelling like sweat when your date gets here. Now go.”

Sam rolls his eyes and goes to take his shower.

Dean looks at the clock. It says it’s seven. One hour. Sixty minutes. Sixty minutes is all he has left with his brother. The rest of his life will be spent without his other half at his side. A whole lifetime, and now it won’t include the most important thing in his life. And while he’s gone and trying to protect Sammy, some other little shit will have his hands all over him.

Dean’s body feels like it’s going to fall apart at any second. He doesn’t think he can go through with this, but he has to. For Sam. He’d do anything for Sam. That’s what will have to get him through his life from now on. The memory of his innocent baby brother’s smile and how he wants to keep it looking that way. He just has to remember that this is all for Sam.

And with that he removes the amulet from around his neck, opening one of the kitchen drawers and dropping it in. He can’t have anything weakening his resolve. He has to stay away from his little brother. For good. It’s better that way. He closes the drawer firmly, his hand squeezing the knob tightly for a moment before it drops heavily at his side.

“Goodbye, Sam,” he whispers as his eyes overflow and tears roll down his cheeks.

Fifteen minutes later, Sam appears in the kitchen again. Dean has their dinner served, the table set, and his emotions on lock. He can’t risk a breakdown in front of Sam. They eat in silence for a few minutes until Sam speaks.

“Hey, I didn’t see your bag in the room. Did you move it?”

“What was that favor you wanted to ask me?” Dean totally ignores him, changing the subject quickly and effectively.

“Oh, right. Well, I know you’ve done so much to help me out, and I really shouldn’t be asking anymore of you. You might think this is super weird...”

Dean laughs a little.

“You’ve already asked me to be your fake boyfriend. Does it _get_ weirder than that?”

Sam’s cheeks get a little pink, and he looks at Dean shyly through his bangs.

“Yeah.”

They’re both just sitting there, Dean waiting expectantly, but Sam stays quiet. He finally gets tired of their weird little standoff and makes a sound like an aggravated growl.

“Come on, out with it, Sammy! Just ask me whatever it is you wanna ask me and get it over with.”

“Ineedyoutoteachmehowtokiss.” Sam blabbers out quickly in one breath.

Dean nearly chokes on his swig of beer.

“What was that?”

Sam sighs deeply, his face more red now than pink.

“I need you to teach me how to kiss.”

Dean just sits there in stunned silence for a minute.

“You know how to kiss. You’ve been kissed lots of times.” Is what he finally says.

“Well, yeah, but I’ve never, you know, like, made out with anyone. I don’t have any experience with this stuff because I’ve never had the chance to get this far. And I think I should probably at least know how to get past first base.”

This time Dean just about chokes on his tongue. His brother that he is in love with is asking him for kissing lessons so that he can use them on someone else. This kind of shit has to only happen to Dean. The universe must really want him to suffer.

“Oh, you- I-well-okay, got it. I mean- I don’t know, Sam. That sounds like a really terrible idea. I mean, pretending to be your boyfriend was one thing, and also a really bad idea, but this is crossing a line. I really don’t think we should.”

“But you already kissed me!” Is out of Sam’s mouth before he realizes it, and Dean may actually be blushing more than he is. “Please, Dean. I don’t have anyone else I can ask, and even if I did I wouldn’t want to. You know more about this stuff than anyone, and I trust you. I want _you_ to show me. He’s going to be here in twenty minutes. I don’t want to embarrass myself. Please.”

Sam knows this is an incredibly bad idea. Probably the worst one he’s had. Truthfully, he could probably figure out how to kiss on his own. He’s a smart kid after all. But Sam has a plan, and he has to do this. He has to know. So he turns the puppy dog eyes on full force and Dean is done for.

“Gah! Fine!” Dean concedes and throws his hands up. He’s acting like this isn’t getting to him, but right now he’s an even mix between terrified and elated.

Sam’s face lights up in a huge smile. They haven’t even done anything yet and the kid already has Dean’s heart racing.

“But first swish your water around. I don’t need to be tasting mac and cheese in your mouth.”

Sam laughs awkwardly, but does as Dean asks.

They both knew this was going to be awkward. There was no way this wasn’t going to be awkward, but now that they’re standing in front of each other knowing what they’re about it do, it gets a whole lot weirder.

“Okay, so you’re going to be, uh, the girl, but the boy… I guess. I mean…uh…I’m not explaining this well. Okay…just put your arms around my neck.”

Sam takes a step forward and wraps his arms around Dean’s neck, clasping his hands together at the back where he’s playing with the short ends of Dean’s hair at his nape.

“Like this?” Sam asks shyly. He’s looking up at Dean through his lashes; his bangs getting tangled with them. His face is a light shade of pink, and it’s taking everything Dean’s got not to devour him right now.

“Yeah…yeah, that’s good. Now, I’m going to put my hands on your hips.”

Technically, only one hand stays on Sam’s hip, the other goes around to the small of Sam’s back and pulls him in so that they’re flush against each other. He feels Sam’s body start to tremble. The kid’s going to be the death of him.

“You okay, baby boy?” Dean’s voice comes out shaky and husky, but he couldn’t help it even if he wanted to.

Sam nods, his mouth parted and his breathing a little heavy. Dean has never once called him that, but he really, _really_ likes it. It’s got his stomach doing flips and his knees shaking. He bites his lips to keep any noise from escaping.

“So, you can’t just jump right into things. You have to ease your way in.”

Dean has let his voice turn to that low and smooth molasses tone, and he licks his lips, watching Sam watch him. He fits their lips together, soft and easy; no longer than a few seconds before pulling away. It’s better than it was when he kissed Sam at school. And it’s _way_ better than the bruising kiss Greg gave him earlier. Probably because Sam asked him for this. Dean notices that his little brother sounds like he’s really struggling to breathe now.

Dean swallows noisily. “You still alright, Sammy?”

Sam nods much slower this time. Dean’s voice is now rough and gravelly; less syrupy seduction and more outright lust, and he himself is starting to have trouble breathing. The room feels so much smaller and hotter than it had just a moment ago. You could cut the tension between him and Sam with a knife.

“Then you just have to pay attention to what your partner is telling you with their body language. When it feels like the right time… you just go for it.”

He presses their lips back together, this time with a little more fervor and aggression, but he’s careful not to hurt Sam. It takes Dean all of three seconds before he feels like he has to taste Sam. He flicks his tongue out against Sam’s upper lip, and his brother opens up for him without hesitation. He sweeps his tongue into Sam’s mouth. It’s smooth and soft, and so very hot. He tastes kind of sweet, despite them just eating dinner, just like he thinks Sam should.

He glides his tongue along Sam’s, urging him to do the same. Sam catches on after a minute and returns the gesture. Dean traces along the edges of Sam’s teeth, the insides of his cheeks, the roof of his mouth, trying to get deeper and taste as much as he can. He pulls away a little, biting at Sam’s lower lip and pulling for a second before he lets go.

When he stares down at Sam he finds that his little brother is even more breathless. The kid is full on panting, his eyes are glassy, and Dean can hardly see any of the hazel anymore. The flush on his face has crept down his neck. He’s almost a hundred percent sure that if he weren’t holding Sam right now they both would’ve collapsed.

Sam presses himself tighter against Dean, and Dean bends so he can press their foreheads together, holding Sam as close as he can. Their mouths are hovering just centimeters from each other, breathing in each other’s exhaled breath, so Dean flicks his tongue out over Sam’s lip a couple of times, lapping at Sam’s mouth.

“Is this what you wanted, Sam?” Dean hardly recognizes his own voice.

Sam lets out the smallest broken whimper in reply and Dean breaks.

He slams Sam up against the nearest wall, pinning him with his body. He uses one hand to grab Sam’s leg and wrap it around his waist, pressing their mostly awake cocks together. He uses the other to pin one of Sam’s hands to the wall above his head, Sam’s other hand coming to rest on his neck. Dean is ravaging Sam’s mouth and grinding against him. Sam is nothing but moans and whimpers now; Dean can feel it more than hear it with all the blood rushing in his ears.

Sam is immediately hard. He didn’t know just rutting up against someone could feel so good, but now he wants to do it all the time.

After a few minutes Dean wants more, so he abandons Sam’s mouth in favor of his neck, kissing and licking and biting the slightest bit. Sam’s whole body is shaking like crazy, and it’s driving Dean absolutely mad. The only thought in Sam’s head now is how amazing this feels, and how he knew Dean would be so great at this.

Adrenaline is flooding Dean’s body, and he doesn’t fight the urge to slide his hand up Sam’s thigh before he slides around to Sam’s front and cups his rock hard little dick in his hand and give it a squeeze.

“Dean! Oh god, Dean!”

Sam manages to form actual words, gripping Dean’s neck tighter, and his shy little moans are better than any porn star Dean’s ever heard, and he loves the way Sam is hesitantly grinding his hips against him. His hand slides from Sam’s crotch to his ass, where he kneads it over and over in his hand, making Sam cry out.

“Shit, Sammy.” He huffs against Sam’s throat, rocking against Sam harder. If this carries on much longer, Dean will most definitely be coming in his jeans.

They hear a knock on the door and jump, separating immediately. Dean glares it at like he can burn a hole right through, and Sam looks absolutely terrified. If he’s being totally honest, Sam completely forgot that Greg was coming over, and that worries him probably exactly as much as it should.


	10. A Change of Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things rarely work out the way the Winchesters plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we are. Chapter 10! It's crazy! This story has been so much and I'm so glad you've all been enjoying it! And y'all should know the drill by now... Thanks so much to all of you for reading! And for all the comments! I love getting every single one of them.
> 
> And now for another quick update. I've spent the past two days working on the last few chapters. I'm really sad that I'm starting to wrap things up, but I'm so excited to get it out to you guys! I still have a little ways to go. I can't figure out how I want the last chapter to go, but I promise I'm working on it! 
> 
> Well, here's chapter 10!

They both look at the clock and it’s five ‘til eight. Meaning they just spent the last fifteen minutes making out. Dean wants to fucking strangle Sam’s date right now. Not only because he stopped the hottest make out session of Dean’s life, but also because he’s robbed Dean of the last five minutes he’ll ever have with his little brother and the love of his life.

They look back at each other and Dean thinks Sam looks absolutely beautiful with his red, kiss swollen lips that he’s biting at as he stares up at Dean through hair that’s completely mussed from their activities. He wants to have this, to have Sam like this in this moment forever. But it’s too late for that.

He goes in for one more, gentle kiss before releasing Sam and stepping away so that Sam can detach himself from the wall.

“Guess I should get lost, huh?” Dean says with a sardonic smile.

God, his little brother is stunning. Sam hasn’t really caught his breath yet, and is staring at Dean with fucked out eyes. He looks downright debauched and Dean wants more, and that’s exactly why he has to go _right now_.

“I mean, you don’t _have_ to. You could always just stay.” Sam answers quietly.

Dean gives him a sad smile and shakes his head.

“Probably better if I don’t.”

There’s another knock on the door.

“Be there in just one second!” Sam calls.

Dean walks to the backdoor with Sam in tow. He stands at the door just staring at Sam, trying his best to burn his beautiful baby brother’s face into his memory forever.

He smooths the kid’s hair out some, and wipes the shiny patch of saliva off of Sam’s neck. Thankfully, Sam’s hard-on is now only a semi. And while it’s still noticeable, it’s not nearly as prominent, and his pants just slightly bulge in the front. There’s nothing they can do at this point about Sam’s kiss swollen lips, so he kisses Sam once more because he wants to, and because he can just this last time.

“Dean… please stay. I don’t want you to leave. You can sit out here and watch tv. Please. You can be our chaperone or whatever. Just… stay.” Sam pleads.

Dean ruffles his hair.

“See ya around, Sammy.”

The sad smile on Dean’s face makes Sam want to ask just what the hell is happening right now, but then Dean is gone before he has the chance and there’s another knock on the door. He closes the backdoor and makes his way to the front one. When he opens it he knows that Greg is supposed to be there, but he can’t help but wish he wasn’t.

“Hey.”

Greg goes straight in for a kiss. Sam is caught off guard and backs away a little. He doesn’t feel like kissing anyone else so soon.

“Your brother gone?”

Sam nods.

“So, you wanna watch tv or something?” Sam asks with little to no enthusiasm.

Greg gives him a look that Sam doesn’t really care to classify, much less see.

“Not really. I’ve got some other things in mind. You wanna show me your bedroom?”

Sam shrugs.

“I guess.”

Sam does, and they’re hardly inside with the door shut before Greg is pressing up against him with his tongue halfway down Sam’s throat. He doesn’t even give Sam the opportunity to use what he’s just learned. Sam pushes him away as much as he can.

“Hey, slow down. Don’t you wanna do something else first?”

Greg shakes his head.

“No, I really don’t. Been waiting for this all day, and thinking about it even longer.”

He lunges forward and pulls Sam back in. His mouth is too wet, and his approach is too aggressive. Sam is not into it at all.

“Can we please do something else right now? I’m not in the mood.”

Greg doesn’t seem to get it, because he pushes Sam down onto the bed and climbs on top of him, his mouth all over Sam’s throat and his hands all over Sam’s torso. Sam is struggling to push him away. He may only be two years older, but he’s got at least four inches and twenty pounds on Sam.

“Come on, Sam. I just wanna have some fun. Besides, I’m your guest. And isn’t that your job as the host? To please the guest?”

He slides one hand between them and squeezes Sam’s crotch far too hard. Sam flinches away from the touch. Honestly, it’s just making him feel a little nauseous right now.

“Greg, stop! That hurts. Just take it easy, okay?”

He can feel Greg shake his head since his face is currently buried in Sam’s neck where he’s biting way too hard for it to be sexy or even remotely pleasurable.

“Uh- uh. Like it like this. You’ll like it too, Sam.”

“Ow! Greg, stop! Please!”

Greg continues to ignore him. He’s unbuttoning his shirt now and undoing his jeans. He gets them both off and is yanking off Sam’s shirt before Sam can protest.

“What the hell are you doing, Greg?!”

He sits back to give Sam a stupid, irritated look.

“What the fuck do you think I’m doing, Sam? I’m trying to fuck you. At least I would be if you’d shut up for two seconds and get with the program. This is what I want. Don’t you want to make me happy? I’m your boyfriend. That’s what you’re supposed to do.” Greg’s smile is too toothy and reminds Sam of a vampire.

Sam takes a second to take Greg in.

He’s sitting on Sam’s midsection in his stupid tighty-whities. His slender body too underdeveloped for Sam’s liking, and his skin is a little too pale and dull and chalky looking. Nothing like the even golden tan of Dean’s skin that stretches over his tight muscles. Greg’s hands are too soft. They lack the rough calluses that tell of the hardships he’s been through and the strength he’s capable of. And he’s not nearly tall enough. His hair is too dark, and his smile is weak and insincere. And Sam doesn’t like that Greg doesn’t have freckles, or eyes the color of jade and sunlight.

That’s when it finally dawns on Sam that he doesn’t want Greg at all anymore, if he ever really did. He doesn’t want anybody…except for Dean.

“You know what, Greg? I think you should go.”

Greg’s stupid smile disappears instantaneously and he’s staring at Sam incredulously.

“Go? I just got here! We haven’t even had sex yet! What the fuck is your problem, Sam?!”

“Don’t have one. Just want you to go. Now. I’ll walk you out.”

Sam tries to get up to grab his shirt to pull over his bare chest, but hands grip his shoulders unceremoniously hard and slam him back to the bed.

“I said I’ve waited a week for this. I had to put up with your geeky little ass for days just for the chance to get inside it. And I’m going to. One way or another.”

 ------------------------------

 

Dean is only ten minutes out, and already he feels like he’s falling apart at the seams. How did he ever think he could survive without Sam? But he has to. He has to stay away from his little brother. Look what he was doing to him not even twenty minutes ago. He won’t do this to Sammy. He can’t. He can live with the shame, with the disgust. And he certainly won’t let Sam live with it. He’ll take it all on himself, just like he always does. He deserves it. Sam is too innocent, though. And Dean will make sure it stays that way.

He knows he’s probably kidding himself by thinking he can make it on his own, but with time it’ll get easier. He can stay away. He _has_ to stay away.

He reaches up to idly fiddle with his amulet, only to find that it’s not there, and then remembering he stuffed it in the kitchen drawer. He didn’t want any reminders of his amazing little brother. He couldn’t risk it. Any sort of trigger could have him jumping in the car and flooring it all the way back to Sam.

But the amulet. The amulet is a part of him. Sam had given it to him six years ago and he’s never once taken it off. It’s more than just a reminder of Sam. It’s his connection to Sam. It’s a sign of what his brother means to him. It’s everything. Sam may never be his, but he sure as hell will forever be Sam’s.

“Fuck it.” Dean mutters as he whips the car around and drives back toward the house to retrieve what’s his.

 -------------------------

 

Sam is yelling, and swinging, and pushing, and kicking. Anything to try and get Greg off of him. But Greg has both of Sam’s hands now and is sitting on his thighs; using all of his weight to keep Sam down. His face hovers just over Sam’s and he’s practically salivating. Sam wants to punch himself for just now noticing that this guy shares way too many similarities with the supernatural creatures they hunt.

“You’re making this harder for yourself, Sam. You could just cooperate with me and this would be so much easier. I’ve earned this. I had to pretend like I gave a shit about half the stuff you were talking about this past week. Acting all nice and chivalrous or whatever.

“Do you know how hard it is to act like I’m listening to you while thinking about being inside your cute little body? So you owe me. I promise you’ll like it. I just want to show you how good it feels. Don’t you want me to make you feel good?”

Sam spits in his face.

“What I want you to do, _Greg_ , is get off me and get the hell out of my house!”

Greg rears back and punches Sam in the face, hitting him square in the cheekbone. It’s not a hard punch, but it’s a sensitive area, and Sam feels it burn and swell immediately. He’s gonna have one hell of a bruise.

“Sorry, _Sammy_. That’s not part of the plan.” Greg bites out.

Sam is livid.

“Don’t. Call. Me. Sammy.”

Suddenly Sam’s whole body is flooded with relief as he hears the rumbling approach of the Impala’s engine. It takes Greg quite a few seconds longer to pick up on the sound. A worried expression crosses his face when he finally does hear it, and he looks at Sam, who’s currently giving him a smug smirk. Greg tries to match it, feigning calm.

“Guessing that’s your brother. No big deal. I can still make this work.”

 --------------------

 

Dean tries not hurl when he sees shadows moving through the window of their room. He knows what they’re doing in there, he just doesn’t want to think about it. He can’t bear to think about it.

“You’re just getting the necklace. Nothing else. Just get the necklace and get out,” he says to himself.

He opens the door and walks into the house, a little surprised by how quiet it is.

 ---------------------------------

 

Back in the bedroom, Greg is glaring at Sam.

“If you make a single noise you _will_ regret it,” Greg threatens in his best menacing tone, but it does little to frighten Sam.

Sam listens to the thumping of Dean’s boots, and right before they reach the front door he cries out.

“DEAN!”

Greg backhands Sam so hard that it leaves a print on Sam’s face, as well as busting his lip. He feels Greg’s hands wrap around his neck and squeeze. He can’t breathe and he can’t get Greg off of him, but that doesn’t matter because he can hear his brother’s boots approaching the bedroom.

 ----------------------------

 

Dean hopes that he’s been quiet enough that Sam hasn’t noticed he came back.

He makes a beeline for the kitchen, opening the drawer and retrieving his necklace. The second he puts it on he feels a calmness come over him as it lays against his chest. But it’s only temporary, and the next second a strange feeling overcomes him. Like a tingling at the base of his skull. And he hears something that makes his blood curdle. A loud and desperate “DEAN!”

He heads straight for their room.       


	11. A Myriad of Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are only two things you don't mess with in Dean's life: his car, and Sammy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys! This story has over 3,000 hits and it's all thanks to you! You've have all been so incredibly amazing and I seriously can't think you enough. Y'all are the best! I'd like to dedicate this chapter to all of you because I simply can't imagine readers any more phenomenal than you guys! Thank you so much!
> 
> Now, just a quick little side note: I'm not going to be one of those douchy, anonymous writers that thinks they know everything and wants to give you some advice on writing techniques and that bullshit. I am, however, going to give a small suggestion, and that is to discover a way to write that works for you. Sometimes it's easier for me to write if I'm totally immersing myself in it. Sometimes it's easier if I take a step back and do something that has nothing at all to do with a story. It just depends on my mood. But more than anything, music has helped me. So find inspiration however you can and own it!
> 
> Enough of that. Onto chapter 11! Here's to you guys! Cheers!

“Sam?” Dean calls out as he opens the bedroom door.

He walks in to find his brother looking a little busted up, laying shirtless on the bed with the little fucker Greg sitting on top of him and his hands around Sam’s neck. Dean doesn’t even think. It’s pure instinctual reaction as he reaches into the back of his pants and pulls his gun, holding it steady and aimed right at Greg’s face.

“Get. The fuck. Off him.”

Greg releases Sam immediately and stumbles off the bed. Dean’s gun trained on him and following him the entire time. 

Sam switches over to panic mode. The only time Dean uses that tone is when he’s about to kill something they’re hunting. He knows that under their normal circumstances that Dean would never kill a human being, but right now he’s not so sure.

“Dean, put the gun away.” Sam says in his best calming tone, but his voice is a little scratchy. He’s ninety percent certain he’s got bruises on his neck from being squeezed so hard.

Dean ignores him.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t blow your brains out right now.” He’s practically baring his teeth at Greg.

Greg is kneeling next to the bed now, his hands above his head and looking just about ready to piss himself. And then something must click within his head because his expression suddenly changes.

“Wait,” and Sam knows he’s putting together the pieces now. “ _Him?_ _He’s_ your _brother?_ You were _dating_ your fucking _brother?!_ What the fuck is _wrong_ with you people?!”

Dean lunges forward and grabs the back of Greg’s head, shoving the barrel of the pistol into Greg’s mouth and dragging him to his feet by his hair.

“Dean!” Sam shouts, but it isn’t getting through to Dean right now in his state of rage.

“Who the _fuck_ do you think you are? Touching him like that,” Dean is quiet for a moment and Sam is terrified; he has _never_ seen Dean this angry. “You’re lucky I don’t shoot your dick off, you little fuck.”

Sam jumps off the bed and runs to Dean’s side, gripping the arm holding the gun and trying to drag it away from Greg’s mouth.

“Dean, it’s okay. I’m fine. It’s just a few bruises. I’m okay. Now let him go.”

Dean doesn’t tear his eyes away from Greg for a second, and a sadistic smile crosses his face when the metal of the gun clacks against Greg’s teeth. The kid is whimpering and crying and Dean wants to make him fucking suffer more than he’s ever made anything suffer in his life.

“No can do, Sammy. This motherfucker laid his hands on you, and now I’m going to make him regret it.”

Sam does the only thing he can think to do. He grabs the back of Dean’s head and pulls him in for a kiss, not caring whether or not Greg is watching. He feels some of the tension leave Dean’s body, and he can’t believe how tense and solid his older brother is right now, but he eases some under Sam’s touch. However, Dean is the best hunter Sam’s ever met in his life, and his gun arm stays steady even during their kiss, keeping the gun in Greg’s mouth. Sam pulls away after a few seconds.

“Let him go, Dean. I’m okay. You saved me, alright? You saved me. I’m fine.”

He rubs the back of Dean’s neck with one hand, the other rests on Dean’s gun arm, applying the slightest bit of pressure to get him to drop it. Dean stares at him with a sad expression on his face, lifting up his free hand to cup Sam’s cheek.

“Oh, Sammy. I’m so sorry. I never should’ve let this happen. I should’ve been here.”

Sam gives a soft smile.

“It’s okay, Dean. It’s alright. You’re here now. You did good.”

Dean drops the gun, but not before he uses the hand that was cupping Sam’s face to draw the knife from his boot, holding it to Greg’s throat. He digs it in the slightest bit, leaving a long, shallow cut across Greg’s throat, and blood rushes to the surface like tiny rubies.

“Stop! Please! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” Greg is shouting.

“You bet your ass you’re sorry,” Dean presses the knife in harder against the skin. “So here’s what happens now: you’re going to get the fuck out of here and never come back. You won’t ever talk about what happened tonight. And tomorrow at school you’re not going to look at Sam, talk to Sam, or touch Sam. At all. If I find out that you did, I will go to your house myself, and I’ll slit your fucking throat. Got it?”

“Yes! Yes, I swear!”

Dean drops the knife and punches Greg directly in the face, pain exploding through his fist. He knows he’s probably broken something in the kid’s face, but he doesn’t really care.

“Get the fuck outta here.” Dean growls.

The kid gathers his things from the floor, running away as fast as he can, and Dean sees blood pouring from his mouth.

He drops in a heap on the bed, letting the knife drop from his hand and clatter to the floor. He stares at his sore hand and flexes it. It’s swollen and purple, and the skin between some of the knuckles is busted and bleeding. Sam kneels down between Dean’s legs, cupping his busted hand and turning it over, assessing the damage.

“I’m sorry, Dean. Once again my horrible judgment created a whole messed up situation.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Sam. I knew the kid was trouble. Hell, I should’ve been here to prevent this shit from happening. I’m the one to blame here, not you.”

He isn’t looking at Sam, but he knows when Sam gets up that he’s going to the closet to get out the first aid kid. Sam comes back and begins cleaning and bandaging his hand. Neither of them talks throughout the process.

When Sam finishes, he watches Dean, and eventually his brother meets his eyes. They both smile weakly at each other, and for whatever reason Sam decides to reach under Dean’s shirt and pull out the amulet. He holds the warmed piece of metal in his hand, then uses it to pull Dean forward into a soft and slow kiss.

“Thanks, Dean.”

Sam can’t really describe what Dean gives him now as a smile, seeing as it more closely resembles a grimace, but it’s been a long night, and he’ll leave it alone for now.

“Go take a shower, Sammy. I’ll look at your face after you’re cleaned up. And scrub everywhere that asshole touched you.”

Sam doesn’t realize how exhausted he is until he’s in the shower. He takes a little longer than usual, letting the water soothe the aches in his body and his face, hoping against hope that he can expel this night from his memory and wash it down the drain with the soap suds.

When he gets out Dean is clad only in his boxers as he sits on the bed and waits for Sam. Sam kneels down in front of him again like he had when he was looking at Dean’s hand.

“Let’s see what that piece of shit did to you.”

Dean’s voice is soft, just like his touch as he runs his hands over Sam’s temple, cheekbone, and gently drags his thumb over Sam’s lip.

“No fractures or breaks. Just a hell of a bruise and a busted lip. At least the marks on your throat aren’t that dark. I think you’ll live.”

Sam nods, getting up from the floor and sitting next to Dean on the bed. He leans in for a kiss, which he gets, but it’s so brief and devoid of emotion that it may as well be a peck on the cheek from Uncle Bobby. He’s confused and hurt, but he doesn’t even get the chance to say anything about it before Dean lays down and turns off the light. He lays with his back to Sam and appears to have fallen immediately asleep. There’s nothing else Sam can do at this point, so he climbs into his own bed and goes to sleep.

He wakes up the next morning before he needs to, and Dean’s still fast asleep. He does his homework and goes into the kitchen to make breakfast and coffee, but is really puzzled by the fact that there’s about fifteen containers of pre made food in the fridge. He opens the freezer to find the same thing. When he closes it he notices an envelope stuck to the door with his name on it. He rips open the envelope to find almost four hundred dollars and what appears to be a letter. As he starts to read he hears the shower turn on.

_Dear Sammy,_

_Your probably gonna be pissed at me when you read this. And that’s o.k. I deserve it. It’s not good that I’m around you anymore. I’m not a good person. And I’m a shitty big brother. I had to leave and I can’t come back. It’s better for you this way. Trust me. Dad knows I’m gone. You stay there and wait for him. You hear me? And no matter what DON’T come looking for me. I refuse to be the one that ruins your life. You can hate me for leaving if you want. But I can’t have you hate me for destroying you. I won’t. I couldn’t handle that. I won’t ruin you. I don’t want to hurt you Sam. I’ve spent my whole life trying to keep you out of harm’s way. And this is my way of doing just that. Stay safe little brother. Maybe we’ll run into each other again someday. I love you Sam. I always will._

_Dean._

Sam is so shocked he has to read it three times before it sinks in. He isn’t sure if he’s more pissed at Dean’s atrocious grammar and his inability to write a proper English sentence, or the fact that his brother had been headed out the door last night when he had decided to come back for whatever reason.

“DEAN!” Sam screams at the top of his lungs, just as he had last night.

Dean can hear him from two rooms over and over the sound of the water. His blood goes cold and he rinses the soap from his eyes and shuts the water off, getting out as fast as he can and wrapping a towel around his waist. He nearly slips running out of the bathroom.

“What’s going on?! Are you okay, Sam?!”

He sees Sam standing in the doorway with the letter in his hand. His stomach drops.

“What the _hell_ is this, Dean?!”

Sam has never been angrier in his life.

“Watch your tone, Sam.”

Sam is now approximately three seconds from exploding.

“NO! No, I will not watch my _fucking_ tone! Explain what the _fuck_ this is! Now, Dean! Just what the hell were you planning on doing last night when you left?! And why did you even come back?!”

Dean decides to answer the simplest question first.

“I came back for my necklace.”

The letter falls from Sam’s hand and flutters to the ground. His head sways and the room is spinning a little and he kind of feels like his whole body weighs a thousand pounds.

“You… you took it off? You were… gonna leave it?”

He sounds so helpless when he speaks. His tone a complete contrast to what it was a moment ago.

Dean nods his head, feeling more than a little guilty and ashamed.

Correction: _now_ Sam has never been angrier in his life. He stomps forward so he’s standing hardly half a foot from Dean. He doesn’t remember actually doing it, but he feels his hand burning, and sees his print across Dean’s cheek; proof that he did in fact just slap his brother. Dean just stands there. He doesn’t flinch, or get angry. He doesn’t even really look shocked. He just accepts what Sam did to him.

“You stupid, selfish son of a bitch.” Sam says, harsh and low and then turns and walks into the bathroom, slamming and locking the door.

“Fucking great,” Dean mutters to himself.

He gets dressed and has a cup of coffee before he even attempts to try to calm Sam down.

He knocks softly at the bathroom door, even though he knows Sam won’t open it.

“Come on, Sam. I’m sorry, alright. We can talk about this. Come out.”

“Screw you, Dean.” Is what he hears through the door.

“Okay, you know what? Fine. We won’t talk about it. But get your ass out here, now! I’m not going to have you be late for school and then bitch at me about it later!”

Sam wrenches the door open with such force that Dean nearly topples over on top of him.

“I’ll get myself to school.” Sam mutters as he stomps past his brother.

Dean can’t help but laugh.

“Good luck with that. If you can manage to run six miles in the next fifteen minutes, I’ll be really impressed.”

Sam grits his teeth and fists his hands. He would really love nothing more than to slap Dean again.

“Fine. Let’s go. And don’t forget your house key. Pretty sure it was in that stupid envelope along with your stupid money.” Sam spits out.

He stomps out the door and Dean follows behind him with a huge roll of his eyes. It's not even eight in the morning and he’s already exhausted.


	12. Just The Way of Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I didn't realize how long this chapter is, so I just wanted to give you guys a heads up. I don't know how it manged to get by me, so I apologize. I hope you guys are okay with it. It's about the length of a normal chapter and a half. 
> 
> Real quick, I just wanted to thank all y'all once again and give a shout out to those few that always send me a comment (you know who you are ;) ) I really appreciate it you guys. And thank you all again for reading!
> 
> Well, here's chapter 12...

Dean can’t remember a time when he’s felt awkward around his brother, but right now he’s definitely feeling it as he drives Sam to school. He’s ashamed and Sam is pissed and neither of them is okay with their situation right now.

Sam is out of the car and slamming the door before Dean even comes to a stop. Dean gets out and yells after him.

“I’ll pick you up after school.”

Sam stops dead in his tracks and whips around.

“Really? You sure you won’t be on the road before I get home? I’d hate for you to have to change your escape plans again just for me. Hey, I bet Greg would be able to give me a ride. Maybe I could suck his dick as an apology. I’m sure he’d be willing to take me home afterward.”

Sam isn’t really sure where this is coming from. He would never do anything of the sort. In fact, he’s going to do everything in his power to avoid the older boy today, and just saying his name out loud makes Sam sick to his stomach. But that doesn’t stop him from saying what he does. Either way, it gets him a reaction from Dean. Not the reaction he had anticipated, but he’s not complaining.

Dean stomps over to him, gripping Sam’s biceps with bruising force and smashing their mouths together. He doesn’t wait for Sam to open his mouth before shoving his tongue in. The kiss isn’t really a kiss. Mostly it’s just a wet and sloppy and angry collision of lips. It still makes Sam’s dick twitch, though.

When Dean pulls away, there’s a fire in his eyes that Sam’s never seen before, and it shoots a spark of pure lust up his spine.

“I will pick you up after school. Understand?” His tone is false calm and it scares the shit out of Sam, so he nods just once.

Sam finds it funny that he doesn’t see Greg at all at school, but he supposes he shouldn’t be surprised. He doesn’t even see him in the locker room or during gym. He doesn’t see Greg until lunch. He has a bandage on his neck and his face is beyond swollen. Sam can see he has a pile of gauze sitting in front of him on the table. He watches Greg take a bloodied one out of his mouth and switch it for a fresh one. And now Sam understands why Dean’s hand had swollen up the way it did. He’d managed to knock a few of Greg’s teeth out. Sam laughs a little inside.

Greg’s eyes happen to flick up just at that moment and meet Sam’s. Sam’s heart sinks and his breath catches in his throat. He feels a little like a deer that’s been caught in some really sadistic and terrifying headlights. Greg doesn’t hold his gaze for more than a second, though, because then he’s up and all but running out of the cafeteria in under ten seconds.

The brief encounter leaves Sam feeling drained and ill and he can’t wait for school to end.

He walks slowly to the car after his last class, trying his best to make Dean wait as much as possible. If he even decided to show up. He really isn’t eager to see his brother right now, either. If Greg hadn’t ruined the library for him, he’d just go there.

He rounds the corner to see the Impala parked in its usual spot like a shining beacon, Dean leaning against her bumper with his arms crossed. Sam is a little surprised to see Dean, if he’s being totally honest. He hates that he can’t keep his eyes off of his brother, but Dean looks absolutely gorgeous standing next to the American classic in the afternoon sunlight.

As soon as he sees Sam, he walks back around to his side and climbs in. Sam keeps his stride slow and eventually makes his way over, climbing in the passenger side.

Once again, they ride in silence. Sam is radiating anger and is trying his best to cling to the door so as to stay as far away from Dean as he can in the confined quarters.

At home, Sam locks himself in their bedroom, refusing to speak or acknowledge Dean’s presence in any way. He doesn’t come out until Dean calls him for dinner.

Halfway through the meal, Dean feels as if he’s going to lose his mind.

“Okay, fucking say something, Sam. You’re pissed, I get it. You wanna maybe talk about it? Because I’m not going to put up with this cold shoulder bullshit much longer. You’re acting like a little bitch.”

Sam’s head shoots up to glare at Dean.

“Would _you_ wanna talk to someone who just tried to abandon you?!”

“It wasn’t like that.” Dean tries to reason.

A loud and humorless laugh erupts from Sam.

“Really?! So what was it like then, Dean? Explain it to me, because I sure as hell can’t understand. Am I that much of a burden to you? Is that it? You’d rather be off hunting somewhere on your own than be _stuck_ here with me?!”

“Of course not, Sam!”

“Then why did you leave?!” Sam is surprised when he feels hot tears running down his face.

He shoves his chair back from the table and makes his way to the couch, falling onto it in a heap and hiding his face in his hands. He feels the cushion sink next to him and Dean’s arms curl around him, pulling him against Dean’s chest.

“Don’t touch me! I hate you!” He yells into Dean’s chest.

“I know. But it’s better that way.” Dean says in a soothing tone.

He shoves Dean’s chest and stares up at him with wet, doe like eyes.

“Why? Why do you want me to hate you? You’re a great person. You’re the best person I’ve ever known. You’re everything to me. What was I supposed to do if you’d left? Why would you leave me?”

Dean lets out a deep sigh.

“Sam, it’s better if you don’t know. Trust me.”

“You keep saying that, but now I don’t know if I _can_ trust you.”

That cuts Dean like an icy knife to his heart.

“No, don’t say that. You have to, Sam. I know I hurt you, but it was for your own good. You’d’ve been fine on your own. I had to do it. I still should. But now… now I just don’t have the will to make myself.”

He watches as Sam slowly shrinks in on himself, making himself smaller and smaller.

“If you want me to trust you, then tell me the truth, Dean. Tell me why you _had_ to leave.”

Dean scrubs his hands over his face and turns sideways so he can face Sam head on.

“Last night when I left you alone with your… _date_ ; that little piece of shit,” Dean grumbles absentmindedly, “I had every intention of leaving and not coming back. I’m not a good guy, Sam. I know you think I am, but I’m really not. I need to get away from you before I cause any more damage. That letter was supposed to be the last you ever heard from me. I was hoping to get a couple states over, crash, then find a case. Start hunting on my own and keep myself distracted so that I wouldn’t come back to you. I was gonna call dad and have him come get you. You weren’t even supposed to know I was gone until this morning. Then when I came back for my necklace I heard you cry out for me.”

Sam hadn’t expected this at all. He is truly stunned, not only by Dean’s forthcoming nature at the moment, but also to discover his brother’s plans.

“Why’d you leave the necklace?” Sam’s voice is so small and broken that Dean has to fight to wrap him up in his arms again, but he needs Sam to see him and understand that this was all for him.

“I didn’t need the temptation. It would’ve constantly reminded me of you. Pressuring me to come back and never leave your side again. So I had to leave it here. But then I realized how much that thing meant to me. How one little piece of metal and a string keeps you with me even when I’m thousands of miles away. Something you gave me with your chubby little kid hands that you bought for a couple bucks you got from Bobby and wasn’t even supposed to be mine in the first place. It symbolized everything we’ve ever felt for each other. Everything we’ve ever been through. It’s our connection. There was no way I could’ve left it behind. I needed it. But not nearly as bad as I needed you. Guess they’re kind of synonymous for me, though.”

Sam nods slowly, biting his lip to try to keep the tears from spilling over again, though they do anyway.

“So that’s why you came back. Okay, well, tell me why you left. The real reason.”

Dean lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Sam-“

“Tell me the truth, Dean! Now!”

He isn’t expecting Dean to lean forward and grab his head to pull their mouths together.

“This is why,” Dean says when he pulls away.

Sam is looking at him like he’s completely missing something.

“This, Sam! You and me! I love you! The way no one should ever love their _brother_. I am _in love_ with you, Sam! I’ve already touched you and kissed you, and that is probably enough to fuck you up for life! I can’t have you like that. I _shouldn’t_ have you like that! I swear, I’ll never put my hands on you again. I won’t screw you up any more than I have. I’m not normal, Sammy, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be. And you can’t be normal with me around. I won’t be responsible for fucking you up. I won’t. You’ll hate me for it later, and I’d rather disappear from your life forever than have that.”

Sam is feeling a lot of things. Bewildered, relieved, happy, angry, embarrassed, grateful, betrayed, elated. Dean has to be the dumbest person Sam’s ever met if he really thinks what he’s saying is true.

“You could never ruin me, Dean. You’re too good of a person to ever be able to ruin anything or anyone. You’re also a huge idiot. Why would I just let you do all those things if I didn’t want you to? Didn’t you ever wonder why I never said no?

“Honestly, it took me a while to figure it out, and I think my heart knew before my head did, but I love you, Dean. I mean, I’ll always love you as my big brother, but I’m _in_ love with you, jerk. Isn’t it obvious? I want you, Dean. I didn’t want Greg, and I certainly don’t want anybody else. Just you. So you can’t run away and blame yourself if I want you, too.

“We’ve never been normal. So, why start now? We’ve always lived by a different set of rules. We’re already outcasts from society. Which means you can’t screw me up if I’m already screwed up. I want to be with you. And for the record, I like having your hands on me. It’s… probably the greatest thing I’ve ever felt.”

Dean can’t help but think how crazy Sam’s being.

“No. No way, Sammy. Do you even hear yourself? You can’t want this. See, I’ve already messed you up. You don’t want this. I know you don’t.”

That strikes a nerve for Sam.

“How the hell would you know what I want?! This whole time you’ve been angst-ing all alone instead of coming to me to sort things out like we always do! We work better together! And if you had come to me, then I probably would’ve realized a lot sooner how I felt about you! You always say I got all the brains in the family, well, give me some credit here, Dean! I know what I want! I want you, and there’s never going to be anything I could want more than that!”

Dean is completely shocked. Sam is too young to really understand the complexity of their situation and the weight of what he’s saying.

“You’re sure this is what you want, Sam?”

Sam surges forward and captures Dean’s lips in a rough kiss. It’s not a great angle and there’s no technique, but it gets his point across.

“Does it seem like I’m unsure to you?”

Dean closes his eyes and ponders what Sam says. It wouldn’t be right for him to let Sam do this, though, and he shakes his head resolutely.

“I can’t let you do this, Sam. This isn’t right. You’ll regret this later when you realize this isn’t what you want. And you won’t want this forever. You’ll want a normal life and stability. I know it. I just don’t want you to hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Dean. No matter what.”

Dean stands, putting some distance between him and Sam. He won’t let his own selfish desires hurt his little brother.

“No, Sammy. You’re too young. And this… this is wrong. We can’t. Just… go and go to sleep, or something.”

Sam is taken aback. He’s hurt and confused, and so incredibly pissed off right now that his hands are shaking and he’s itching to sock Dean one.

“But- I…I thought… I thought you…wanted this. Wanted _me_ like this.”

Dean’s heart feels like it’s splitting in two. In fact, he’s absolutely sure of it. But he has to protect Sam.

“Yeah, well, we don’t always get what we want. This can’t happen, Sam. It just can’t.”

Sam’s eyes immediately widen and he flinches as if he’s been physically struck. His eyes start glistening as the tears well up again.

“Fuck you, Dean.”

Sam turns and walks into the bathroom, slamming the door and clicking the lock.

Dean scrubs his hands through his hair and kicks the couch, cursing himself for being such a jerk.

“Way to go, Winchester. You try to do your best not to hurt him, and still that’s exactly what you manage to do.”

Dean jumps when their phone suddenly rings. He waits, and the ringing stops right after the first one. A moment later it rings again and Dean knows it’s their father.

“Yessir?” He answers.

“Dean, I wrapped up my case early. I want you and Sam to pack up whatever you can and meet me at Bobby’s.”

 _Fucking. Perfect._ Dean just barely manages to hold back.

“But Sammy has school, dad. And it's almost the end of the week. Can't we just stay until tomorrow? He’s gonna flip if he has to leave before he can finish the week.”

“Well, that’s too bad. Sam’ll live. We have more important things to worry about than algebra.”

Dean can’t help but feel bad for Sam. Dean had never cared about school, and he wasn’t a book worm like Sam. Sam is so incredibly smart, though. He can go to college. He can get out of hunting. Sam’s algebra grade is exactly what their father should be worrying about, but the poor kid will never have a shot at any of that in this family.

“Alright. Well, it’s gonna be a few days before we get out there. I’ll pack up everything tonight, and we’ll leave first thing tomorrow morning. We should be there the day after tomorrow. It’ll probably be late, though.”

“Fine. Just hurry it up. No lollygagging. I know how Sam gets when we leave places. Don’t let him throw one of his fits. We don’t have time for that. I don’t want to be dealing with his attitude when he gets here.”

Dean nods, even though his father can’t see it. “Got it.”

“And you better have been taking care of that car. I know how careless you get. Especially when you find some piece of ass to chase after.” Dean rolls his eyes. If only his father knew the truth. “And I hope you’ve been keeping up with your training. You know I can tell any time you and Sam have been slacking off.”

“I’ve been keeping up as much as I can, sir. But we’ve been busy here with-”

“Dammit, Dean, I don’t need to hear any of your goddamn excuses! You can bet your ass that when you and Sammy get here, you two are going to be running eight miles every day for a week, and _you_ will be cleaning every single gun we own!”

“Yessir.”

“Good. Now get your shit packed, and I want you boys on the road before dawn. And remember-“

“Watch out for Sammy. I know, dad.” Dean interrupts harshly.

“Watch your tone, Dean. Or you’ll be running ten miles every day instead of eight.”

Dean is quiet for a moment and rolls his eyes his eyes so hard this time that it actually kind of hurts.

“Yessir.”

His father doesn’t bother with niceties, just hangs up the phone without saying anything further.

Dean slams the phone back down on the hook and punches the wall.

“Fuck!” He cries out, his hand throbbing. The same hand that was already swollen from punching that fucking kid in the face.

Dean is so frustrated right now that he’s half tempted to punch the wall again. Instead, he grabs a beer from the fridge and chugs the whole thing. He’s halfway through a second bottle when he makes his way to the bathroom and knocks on the door.

“Sam. Come on. We gotta start packing. Dad wants us on the road first thing tomorrow morning.”

He gets no response, only complete silence from the other side of the bathroom door. Dean’s patience is non- existent after his conversation with their father.

He feels bad after being the one to hurt his brother’s feelings. He’s used to being the one that comforts Sam after he gets into it with their dad. It never gets any easier, but he knows how to handle that. He’s not used to being the reason Sam is hurting. As much as he’d like to comfort Sam and wrap him up in his arms and kiss him until he feels better, he just doesn’t have that kind of time right now.

He pounds on the bathroom door this time and kicks it once for good measure.

“Sam! Get your ass out here and start getting your shit together! We have to go, and I’m not going to tell dad that we were late because you were acting like a little kid!”

Dean nearly falls on Sam when his little brother yanks open the door. Sam rams his shoulder into Dean and shoves him out of the way. Dean rests his head against the door jamb and lets out a frustrated sigh. He just can’t seem to catch a break.

He makes his way into the bedroom after reigning in his anger to see Sam shoving what few clothes he has into his duffel. It takes Sam all of five minutes, and Dean watches him the entire time. He can tell by Sam’s posture that he’s every bit aware of Dean’s gaze on him, but he doesn’t say anything.

Sam’s eyes are red and puffy. The tip of his nose is pink like it always is when Sam’s been crying. His lips are red, too, probably from biting them to keep Dean from hearing his sobs. It takes everything in Dean’s power not to grab his brother and pull him into a hug, but he knows if he tried, Sam would probably punch him. But he doesn’t even get the chance to try because Sam is climbing into bed and pulling his covers up over his head before Dean can even take a step.

“I’m sorry we’re leaving so soon, Sam. I asked dad if you could at least finish out the week, but you know how he gets. Maybe one of these days we’ll stay somewhere long enough for you to finish a whole semester.”

“It’s fine. School doesn’t matter anyway. It’s not going to help me much in our line of business, so what’s the point.”

Dean feels a pang in his chest at hearing that.

“No, Sammy. Don’t say that. You’re so smart. And you love school. Don’t let dad-”

“Just drop it, Dean! I don’t even care, anyway. Just… just let me go to sleep.”

And Dean does, but now he feels even worse. How much more can he take of watching his family suffer? How much longer can the universe expect him to carry the weight of the world without getting anything in return? Would it really be so terrible for him and Sam to be together? He loves the kid more than anything, and he’ll always protect him. Can’t he at least have that?


	13. Expect the Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nowhere in the universe is it written that things will be easy for Sam and Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again so much for reading. I know I've been shaking things up on you guys, but I truly hope you're still enjoying it.
> 
> Now, as I'm sure some of you have noticed, I have determined how many chapters this story will be. I wish I could make it longer, but it feels right to end it where I'm planning to. I'm really sad, though. So I'll be posting the second to last chapter tomorrow, but the last chapter will probably be at least a few days. I know how I want the story to end, but I'm having some trouble getting out of my head and putting it into words. I hope y'all won't be too upset with me. I want to make it as great as I possibly can for all y'all, and right now it kind of feels forced and I don't want that. So bear with me. I promise I'll try as hard as I can to get it out as soon as I possibly can. Thanks!
> 
> Enjoy lucky 13!

They wake up before the sun is up and get the Impala loaded. They’re on the road just as the sun is rising and they don’t stop at all until they’re nearly running on empty and Sam can hear Dean’s stomach rumbling.

They grab a hot dog from the gas station while they fill up and then they’re back on the road. They’ve barely exchanged three sentences between them since this morning, and the tension in the car is really taxing on Dean. He decides he’ll caffeinate and drive through the night; the sooner they get to Bobby’s, the better. Not even Motorhead is improving his mood right now.

Dean stops around midnight to grab another cup of coffee, and wakes Sam so the kid can use the bathroom. He goes inside to pay for gas and their supplies, but when he comes back, Sam still isn’t back from the bathroom.

He walks around the side of the building where the restroom is located, but stops dead in his tracks. Sam is being pinned up against a wall with a knife to his throat by some nasty looking trucker who probably smells like stale cigarettes and pussy. Dean notices the guy’s nose is bleeding and figures it’s probably from Sam’s right hook.

The guy isn’t alone. There’s two more truckers on either side of him, both looking just as gruff and just as pissed. Sam’s eyes are huge, and his breathing is somewhat out of control. His hands are balled into fists against the concrete, but he’s looking the guy with the knife dead in the eye as if daring the man to do something, and isn’t that just like Sam.

“We would’ve played nice with ya, but after that little stunt you ain’t gonna be so lucky.”

Sam lets out a broken whimper as the knife presses into his throat. Dean’s blood is boiling and he’s no longer processing. He charges toward the guy with the knife, a bellowing snarl rising up in his throat. The guy turns around just in time for Dean to spear him to the midsection and knock him to the ground.

He’s on top of the guy, landing blow after blow against the man’s face. Somewhere in the distance he can hear Sam calling him, but he doesn’t let up. He feels Sam’s hand on his shoulder for a moment, and then it’s ripped away, and his brother’s shriek finally captures his attention.

One of the other truckers is holding Sam, but this one has a gun to his head. Dean stands slowly, blood covering his knuckles. He’s glaring at the man with a crazed and feral expression. Right now he wouldn’t put it past himself to rip the man’s throat out with his own teeth.

He hears the man on the ground get to his feet, but it’s not without effort, and he’s grunting and moaning. The three men form a triangle around Dean, but he doesn’t care. All of his focus is fixed on the man holding his brother, the love of his life, the center of his universe, hostage with a gun pressed against his temple.

“You let him go right fucking now and I promise I won’t kill every one of you.”

The three men all laugh. Dean slowly reaches behind him to pull his pistol from his waist band, but it doesn’t go unnoticed. The man holding Sam shoves the barrel harder into Sam’s temple, and Dean watches as the tears run over and stream down Sam’s cheeks.

“If you want him to live, then toss that on the ground, kid.”

Dean does as he’s told, but he doesn’t need the gun anyway. Not at this point. He’s going to enjoy killing these mother fuckers with his bare hands.

Without giving any of them time to react, Dean reaches into the pocket of his leather jacket and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles. He turns to the man nearest him, the one whose face he was just trying to pound into the concrete, and throws the full weight of his body into a punch that he lands straight to the side of the man’s head. He can hear feel the smack and watches as the man falls to the ground, unconscious and bleeding from the side of his head. Dean knows he’s not dead, but he’d deserve it.

The other two men watch in horror, and Dean takes a step toward the man on his right side.

“Don’t move! Unless you want him dead, then don’t move a muscle!” The man holding Sam shouts. “Drop those now. And any other weapons you got.”

Dean smirks and tosses the brass knuckles away. Then he lifts his pant leg to remove his knife from his boot and toss it on the ground before holding up his hands in surrender.

“Doesn’t matter. I won’t need those, anyway. I’m still gonna kill ya.”

The two men laugh again, and the one that isn’t holding Sam speaks this time.

“I’d just like to see you try it, junior.”

He struts over to Sam, knowing that it’s going to piss Dean off, and licks up Sam’s cheek. Sam cringes and tries to pull his head away, but the gun gets jammed into the side of his skull again. Tears are still spilling down his face. The piece of shit then turns to smile maliciously at Dean, pulling up Sam’s shirt some to rub his hand over Sam’s smooth, flat belly. Sam squirms, but it’s all useless.

“Yeah, we’re gonna have some fun with baby brother here. He’s got such a pretty mouth. Wonder if his hole looks this pretty.”

Sam makes a squeaking noise at that, and Dean takes a few steps forward. He freezes again when the man cocks the gun and aims it right at his face. They’re only a few feet apart at this point, so Dean knows that if the man fires he won’t miss.

Dean chuckles, and something that Sam’s never seen before flashes in his eyes. His guts churn a little watching his big brother right now. Even without a weapon, he looks more dangerous than Sam’s ever seen. Especially with the spatters of blood on his face.

“You really think you can keep me from him? He’s mine, and mine alone. And I don’t like people touching what belongs to me.”

Sam’s guts are churning again, but it’s something completely different this time. It’s probably not the best time, but Sam can feel the heat Dean’s words cause low in his belly.

The men are laughing again, though, clearly not taking Dean seriously enough.

“Trust me, kid. It’s better when you learn to share.”

“ _You_ trust _me_ , you sick fucking piece of human filth, you touch him again, and you won’t live to regret it. Because I _will_ kill you, and I _will_ take back what’s mine.”

The other man turns his back on Dean and unbuttons Sam’s pants, and Dean is so angry he feels as if he might explode out of his skin. But he manages to focus for just a second.

“Sam, now!” Dean shouts at his brother.

Sam swings his leg up, kicking the assailant in front of him square in the crotch. The man stumbles back, cupping himself in hand and falling to his knees. Then Sam throws an elbow back, hitting the man with the gun in the solar plexus. He freezes just long enough for Sam to wrench the gun out of his hand and back away, the gun pivoting quickly back and forth between the two men.

Slowly, they both rise to full height, glaring at Sam, and Dean has no doubts about what they’d do to Sam now if they got their hands on him.

Sam keeps walking backward until he can feel his back press up against Dean’s chest.

“Good job, Sammy. Just like I taught ya.” Dean says soothingly and wraps his arm possessively around Sam’s middle, pulling him tighter back against his chest.

Sam is still in a panic, though. The gun hasn’t stopped moving from one man to the other, and his hands are shaking like crazy. Dean isn’t sure if Sam would even hit anything if he fired off a shot. And there’s no way he can see through his tear filled eyes right now.

The men move to stand next to each other, both holding up their hands.

“Listen, kid. Don’t do something you’re gonna regret. Just let us go and we can all forget any of this ever happened.”

Sam takes a step forward out of Dean’s grasp, his hands more unsteady than ever. Dean follow, pressing himself up against Sam’s back again and sliding his hand down Sam’s arm, trying to take the gun away from his brother.

“Listen to me, Sammy, it’s okay. You don’t have to do this. Just give me the gun.”

“Yeah, Sammy. Just give your brother the gun, and we can all go our separate ways.”

Dean’s blood flares at that.

Sam lets Dean take the gun from him, his arms dropping heavily to his side. He turns around and presses his face into Dean’s chest, grabbing his shirt in both fists and sobbing into it. Dean wraps an arm around his little brother and pulls him closer. His other arm is ramrod straight, the gun held out in front of him aimed at the man that spoke as he stares both of them down.

“First of all, you son of a bitch, I’m the only one that gets to call him that. And second, if you try to run, I promise you I will hunt you down.” Dean grits out through his clenched teeth.

Dean looks down and pulls Sam away from his body.

“Go wait for me in the car, Sammy. I’ll be right there.”

Dean waits until he hears the Impala’s door shut before turning back to the men.

“If you mother fuckers don’t mind, we’re gonna go ahead and be on our way. Now, I’m normally a man of my word, and I really wouldn’t mind killing both of you right now after what you’ve done to my brother. But I know he’d be pissed if I did, so,” Dean fires off two shots, lightning quick, both bullets burrowing into the men’s shins. “I’ll just shoot you in the leg instead and let karma sort that shit out. At least this way I still get to shoot you and you pieces of shit still get what you deserve.” Dean spits out furiously.

Sam jumps as he hears two rounds being fired off, then he faintly hears the weight of the two men hit the ground.

Dean feels not the slightest remorse for his actions. Sure, they were just regular guys, but they put their hands on his brother and were going to hurt him. Dean could not let them get away with that.

“I’m sorry, Sammy. Fuck. I can’t even seem to fucking protect you from a bunch of regular joes anymore.” Dean says softly to himself as gathers his own weapons and walks toward the car.

He gets Sam settled before going back to briefly make sure the men are still alive. He doesn’t hardly pay them any attention, or even speak to them as they cry out for his help. They’re not good enough for that. He just takes the wallets out of their pocket as they writhe in pain, and then goes to retrieve the wallet of the third man who’s still lying unconscious on the ground, earning him a collective total of over three hundred dollars. Then he spits in the face of the man that had the gun to Sam’s head, and makes his way back to the gas station.

He, Sam and the truckers were the only ones at the gas station aside from the attendant, so Dean doesn’t have to worry about witnesses. He does, however, go inside and wave a gun around in the attendant’s face, threatening to come back and hunt the kid down if he talks to any cops, but does tell him to call an ambulance as soon as he and Sam are gone. Then he shoots the VCR recording the security camera footage, grabs a bottle of gin, and heads back to the car and floors it. He doesn’t drop below eighty until they’re fifty miles away.

When he finally slows down to a normal speed, he takes a minute to look over at Sam. The kid’s not crying anymore, but Dean can see the tear tracks in the headlights from oncoming traffic. He seems to have mostly calmed down, but he’s staring off into space like he’s trying his damnedest to put himself mentally elsewhere. Dean’s seen him look worse, though.

“You okay, Sam?”

Sam doesn’t answer, just nods his head once.

After another half hour, Dean decides it’s probably best that they stop for the night and both get cleaned up. He pulls into the first motel he sees and rents them the nicest room they have, courtesy of the two mother fuckers he shot and the lucky bastard he didn’t.

Sam gets himself out of the car and seems to have almost fully recovered. He looks exhausted, though. He walks into the room and sits on the edge of the bed. Dean knows he’s about ready to pass out, but he pulls Sam to his feet and into the bathroom. He strips them both down at Sam’s protests, his little brother telling him that he’s fully capable of undressing himself, and pulls them into the warm spray of the shower.

He stands behind Sam and washes his hair for him, a firm and reassuring presence against Sam’s back. Then he lets Sam lean his head back against his chest as he rinses out the suds. Dean wraps his arms around his brother’s slick body and just allows himself to hold Sam for a little bit. It’s the most intimate moment they’ve ever shared. Wet skin on wet skin, no emotional barriers of any kind. They are completely exposed to each other right now in every way possible.

“I’m so sorry, Sam.” He whispers into the smaller hunter’s hair.

Sam turns in Dean’s embrace and gives him a sad, reassuring smile. He looks alright, like Dean knew he would be. Sam’s been in plenty worse situations than he was just in, but Dean knows it shook him up all the same.

He bends down to gently press his lips against his brother’s own slick ones. It’s brief and calming, and sweet. He hears Sam sigh the moment their lips meet. The kiss only lasts a few seconds before Dean is pulling away. He takes a moment to just stare at his beautiful baby brother. They both deserve this one moment of peace within the insanity of their lives. And Dean is done trying to restrain himself any longer.

Sam’s eyes are hooded, and his cheeks are flushed. The water is plastering Sam’s hair to his head and Dean can’t believe how young and innocent his little brother looks like this.

He slides his thumb gently over the cut on Sam’s neck that the knife left. He rubs until the dried blood loosens and slides off, leaving the slender line looking puffy and angry red, but at least the bruises from that little fucker have entirely faded.

Dean presses under Sam’s jaw with his thumb, tilting Sam’s head back. He bends and kisses the slender wound on Sam’s throat, feeling the shudder that wracks his brother’s entire body.

“Dean,” Sam gasps out.

Dean is so torn right now. On the one hand, he has his beautiful, pliant little brother who is shaking and all but and begging Dean to take him right here. And Dean wants his brother _so_ badly.

But on the other hand, Dean knows how wrong this is. He’s taking advantage of Sam’s inexperience and vulnerability. He shouldn’t be doing any of this right now. He should’ve never let things go this far.

And then Dean’s gaze drops to see Sam’s mostly hard dick, and Dean screams a big ‘ _fuck you_ ’ at the part of his subconscious that’s telling him to stop. He presses himself bodily against Sam, wrapping an arm around his lower back and pulling Sam against him. Their bodies are both so slick and warm and it’s slowly driving Dean towards insanity. But he has to get a hold of himself. This is such an important moment for the both of them.

He stares right into Sam’s now only partly hazel eyes, most of the irises being eclipsed by the deep obsidian of his pupils.

“I love you, Sammy. I love you so much.”

“Dean,” Sam gasps out again.

And then Dean is ravaging Sam’s mouth. His tongue is everywhere, and he’s tugging on Sam’s lips, and then his teeth are biting on Sam’s jaw, and Sam is shaking and falling apart in Dean’s arms under the assault of his mouth.

His hands slide down Sam’s slippery waist and he’s getting drunk on being able to feel this much of Sam’s skin. His hands stop at Sam’s hips and squeeze tightly enough that Sam feels like his legs might give out from under him. Dean must feel it because he presses his chest harder against Sam, pinning Sam against the cool tile wall. One of Dean’s hands has started massaging Sam’s hip, but the other is making itself very well-known as it slides lower and wraps around Sam’s prick.

Sam’s hands fly up to grip Dean’s shoulders just as his legs give out. Dean’s hand holds his hip tighter, keeping him upright.

“Need you so bad, Sammy,” Dean growls in his ear.

This is more sensation than Sam is equipped to handle. The slickness of their heated skin. Dean’s hand around his cock. His mouth panting filthy and desperate sounds into Sam’s ear.

Sam’s short nails scrabble on Dean’s slick shoulders. He’s pretty sure he’s being way too loud. He can hear his own pathetic moans echoing off the tile, but Dean doesn’t say anything, he just keeps squeezing Sam’s hip and sliding his other huge and rough hand up and down on Sam’s dick.

Sam has never felt this good in his life. No jerk off session could ever compare to this. _Nothing_ could ever compare to this. Even if his back is vacuum sealed to the wall and he can’t make his legs work even remotely right now. But it doesn’t matter. Dean is holding him and sliding his hand up and over the head of Sam’s cock, pausing to thumb the slit every third stroke or so, and his hand is so slick and so perfect. The calluses just rough enough. Dean squeezing just firmly enough.

Sam bites his lip and tries to hold out a little longer.

“Come on, little brother. It’s okay. You can let go. Come on.”

Sam isn’t entirely capable of thought right now, but his mind subconsciously flashes back to his dream where Dean was saying something similar.

“I want you to come, Sammy. Come for me, sweetheart.”

His mouth is pressed right up against Sam’s ear, and Dean has stopped stroking and is now just rubbing the slit, and then his thumb slips down to touch right under the head of Sam’s cock and Sam is coming so hard and crying out Dean’s name. He’s shaking and digging his fingers into Dean’s back as his dick shoots out glob after glob of cum.

Sam is too out of it to breathe, let alone kiss, but that doesn’t stop Dean from capturing his mouth in a sloppy and needy kiss. He’s still stroking Sam lightly, and Sam is so overwhelmed right now that he doesn’t know where he ends and Dean begins. The only thing he knows is his ebbing pleasure and the wave of post-orgasm adrenaline he’s riding.

“Stay just like this for me, baby.” He hears Dean say, and that suits him just fine because he can’t really move right now anyway.

Dean uses the entirety of his weight and size to press Sam bodily against the shower wall. Dean’s hands reach around and clutch Sam’s ass, pulling him snugly against Dean. He lifts Sam ever so slightly off the ground and is supporting all of his weight since Sam’s legs still aren’t completely functioning. Sam is on tip toes, but even like this Dean’s dick only hits the middle of Sam’s stomach, but that’s all he needs. The slick friction is still there and it’s more than enough for him.

He’s holding Sam so closely that all Sam can really do now is keep his grip on Dean’s shoulders, which is quite a feat due to the fact that his brain is mostly offline and Dean’s skin is _just so slick_.

Dean’s back is arched uncomfortably, but he ignores it and keeps his grip on Sam’s ass, keeping him close so that there’s more pressure as Dean rubs against his flat tummy.

Sam can’t believe this is happening. He can feel the heat of Dean’s dick, feel the incredible slipperiness as it slides up and down his stomach, but he still can’t believe it.

Dean keeps rubbing, a bit harder and faster now. More urgently. Sam figures he must be close. It’s amazing. They’re both so silky and slippery from the water that they’re constantly gliding against each other. It’s enough to get Sam half hard again. But right now it’s Dean’s turn, and Sam wants to make it as good for him as possible.

He wraps his arms around Dean’s back and kisses along his chest, collarbones, and the hollow of his throat. It’s about all he can reach in this position. They kisses are soft and light, meant to be reassuring as opposed to needy. Either way, it appears to be working just fine for Dean.  

“Fuck, Sammy, you’re so perfect. So sweet. You feel so fucking amazing, baby.”

Sam’s never heard his brother talk like this. It makes his entire body shiver uncontrollably. This entire thing feels so dirty and debauched and fucked up that it makes Sam all the more hard. Part of him is aware of the fact that there is something deeply wrong with him, but with the feel of Dean against him, and his constant filth being moaned into the humid air, Sam couldn’t care less right now.

“Sammy, I can’t… oh fuck, I can’t hold off much longer. You feel too good. I need to… need to come. I’m sorry, baby. You’re so fucking good. So perfect. Fucking need to. Want all of you, baby boy.”

Sam is completely hard again, but somehow he manages to focus enough to speak.

“It’s okay, Dean. Want you to. Need to see it.”

“Fuck, Sam. Can’t… can’t say stuff like that, baby.”

“Please, Dean. Want it so bad.”

They’re close enough that they can speak lowly and still be heard over the pounding water, and it’s a good thing because both of their voices are wrecked right now. Harsh and gravelly and sex laden. Still, Sam reaches up a hand and pulls Dean’s head forward so his mouth is right beside Dean’s ear. He knows it must hurt Dean at least a little to bend this way, but he knows this is what Dean needs as he presses his mouth to Dean’s ear and whispers smut into it.

“Please, Dean. I wanna see you come. But next time… I want you to do it while you’re inside me.”

“Fuck! Sam!”

Dean’s fingers clench Sam’s hip like a vice as his body shudders with his release, causing Sam to come again immediately. Dean continues to thrust against him; hard and abrupt little jerks as he rides out his orgasm. His cum is hot on Sam’s stomach. Hotter than Sam’s and even the still warm water. His head droops next to Sam’s ear and now Sam can clearly hear everything coming out of Dean’s mouth.

“Oh, Sam. Sam. Sam. Baby. Love you. Oh, Sammy.” Dean moans out as his thrusts slow and then finally cease.

And once again, Sam is completely breathless, and just like before, Dean doesn’t seem to care. He swoops in, finding Sam’s lips and capturing them in an unrefined, languid and rather noisy kiss. Even after all they’ve just done, the kiss makes Sam whimper.

Sam is exhausted and euphoric, so he doesn’t notice that Dean has picked him up and carried him to the bedroom until he’s lying down on the bed with Dean pressed on top of him. They’re both still naked and still kissing lazily, which Sam is fine with until the draft in the air has him shivering.

Dean finally drags himself away from his little brother’s addictive mouth when he notices that Sam is trembling. 

“Let’s get you some clothes, baby boy. You’ve gotta be freezing.”

Sam panics a little when Dean climbs off of him.

“Oh, Dean, no. I’m okay.”

Dean just gives him knowing smile.

“Sammy, you’re shaking. Just hang on a sec and I’ll find you some sweats.”

Dean digs out some clothes and tosses them to Sam before getting himself dressed. When he’s finished he notices Sam just sitting there, still undressed and holding the clothes. He walks quickly back to the bed, sitting beside Sam and brushing his sopping wet hair out of his face.

“You okay, baby boy? You’re not hurt, are you?”

Sam shakes his head and feels like such an idiot as tears begin to roll down his face. He sees the horror on Dean’s face, and then his big brother’s huge hands are cupping his head so that he’s meeting Dean’s gaze.

“Sam? What’s wrong? I’m so sorry for what I did! I was being stupid and careless and I never should’ve done anything! Fuck, why did I think it was a good idea to take a shower together?”

That just makes Sam cry harder.

“No! That was amazing. Please don’t regret it! It’s not you, Dean. Honest. You’ve been great. It’s just that this is all I’ve been thinking about for the past few days and then I finally get it and I ruin it because I’m cold.”

Dean drops his hands from Sam’s face and laughs. It’s pure and real and Sam can’t help but smile through his tears.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Sammy, you didn’t ruin anything. That was incredible. But it’s late and you’re cold and we need to get some rest. I gotta take care of you, baby. Don’t ever be afraid to tell me when you’re uncomfortable or not okay with something. Even if you think it’ll hurt my feelings or whatever. You come first.

“You’re exhausted right now, Sam, and that’s fine. I’ll never be upset with you as long as you’re being honest with me. That’s what’s most important. But I need you to _always_ be honest in order for this to work, okay? Let’s just get some sleep and we can talk more about all this in the morning. Deal?”

Sam smiles at him and nods. When Dean leans in to kiss him again, Sam notices all the butterflies fluttering around in his stomach and wonders how it’s taken him this long to notice.

Sam gets dressed and gets settled into bed, Dean laying behind him and draping an arm protectively over Sam just like he always does.

“Goodnight, baby boy.” Dean whispers against Sam’s hair before kissing the back of his neck.

Sam shivers slightly, placing his hand on top of Dean’s. He’s never felt so at ease in his life and falls asleep within a matter of minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys are interested in rereading, I wrote the chapter with a few songs in my head and they kind of even helped inspire the direction of the chapter. So if you'd like to reread while listening I was listening to Fast Car by Tracy Chapman for the first part, Lost In You by Three Days Grace during the middle, and Unsteady by X-Ambassadors during the end. Let me know if you notice the influence!


	14. The Weight of a Conscience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean lets his guilt get to him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys! I have fucked up! I totally forgot about another chapter I'd written! So instead of 15 chapters, this story will actually be 16! I'm sorry! I feel like such a jackass. 
> 
> So here's chapter 14! I will be posting chapter 15 tomorrow, and chapter 16 later this week! Sorry again! Enjoy!

They wake up the next morning and everything is even better than Sam could’ve hoped for. Dean wakes him up with a kiss that has his toes curling and nearly has him melting, and a cup of some type of delicious coffee.

They pack up and get on the road within an hour. Everything is fine at first, but the longer they drive, the more the air around them changes. Dean is too quiet and Sam knows by his distant demeanor that his wall has come up. He doesn’t look at Sam when they speak, and his sentences are cold, curt and unfocused. Sam doesn’t know what changed so fast, but it has him worrying.

By the time they make their first stop, Dean isn’t even looking at Sam as he hands him some cash and tells him to grab some snacks while he pumps gas.

Once they’re back in the car, it feels as if the tension has increased tenfold. Neither of them speak for hours. Sam is seriously concerned now.

Halfway to Bobby’s, Sam’s had all he can take of Dean’s stoic attitude. He spots a sign for a park a short distance ahead and tells Dean to pull over.

“Why? You feelin’ sick, Sammy?”

“I’m fine, Dean. Just pull over.”

“Sam, we don’t really have time to hang out and stretch our legs right now.”

“I said pull the damn car over, Dean!”

Dean jumps at Sam’s outburst, but exits off the interstate anyway and pulls into the park. He turns the car off and looks around. There’s one family on the playground, but aside from them, the park is empty.

He turns at the creak of the door opening to see Sam exiting the car. He watches as his brother stomps down to the dock that stretches part of the way across a good sized lake. Dean is hesitant, but eventually he begins walking in Sam’s direction. He takes a moment to himself before he makes his way down to the dock to where is brother is looking out at the water.

It’s a beautiful day and the sun is shining off the lake. Huge trees surround the entire park and make it look utterly picturesque. The breeze skims across the water, making it ripple before it ghosts over Sam, ruffling his hair. If Dean were into chick flick moments, which he’s not, he’d say this was a really romantic place. He might even secretly love to have a camera right now so he’d be able to capture how stunning his little brother looks against such a beautiful backdrop. But he’s definitely not into chick flick moments.

In any case, he can’t stall much longer, so he finally makes his way over to Sam.

“Sammy? You alright, baby boy?”

Sam whirls and glares at him.

“Stop that, Dean. Stop it right now! I know what you’re trying to do, so just don’t. I know something is up. Please just tell me what it is so we can get past this! What’s wrong with you now?!”

Dean gives him a confused look.

“Me? You’re the one that just started screaming like a crazy person for no reason, little brother.”

“Don’t play dumb, Dean! You know exactly what I’m talking about. What happened? Everything was fine this morning and now you’re shutting me out!”

Dean is looking at him with a pleading expression. This is just like Sam. He can never leave well enough alone.

“Sam-“

“Don’t! Don’t treat me like I don’t know you, Dean. That hurts and it makes me feel like you think I must be stupid or something. You said last night you wanted me to be honest with you. Fine. But then you have to be honest with me, too. What’s with you? Why are you acting like this?”

“Sam, what happened last night-“

Sam can feel the tears well up in his eyes before he even has a chance to swallow them back.

“You regret it, don’t you?”

Dean rushes to close the small gap between him and Sam and grips his shoulders, bending so he can meet Sam’s eyes. Sam isn’t looking at him, though, so Dean slides a finger under his chin and tilts his head back so their eyes finally meet.

“No! Don’t you think that for a second! I swear to you, there’s no way I could ever regret that. I’ve wanted it for so long and I loved every single second of it. I just…”

Sam waits patiently, but Dean says nothing else.

“Just what, Dean?” Sam sniffles.

“I’m your big brother, Sam. I’ve sworn to protect you since the day you were born.”

Sam knows there’s something Dean’s not saying, and he’ll make them sit here all day if he has to, but he will make Dean talk.

“You think you’re not protecting me? All you’ve ever done is try to keep me safe.”

Dean’s hands remain on Sam’s shoulders, but his head drops between his arms.

“No. I haven’t. Look what I’m doing to you now.”

And now Sam gets it. Dean’s constant need to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders is getting to him again. He feels guilty about all of this, and even though Sam is just as much to blame as he is, Dean is taking on all of the blame himself. Sam understands that it’s just a facet of Dean’s personality, but it doesn’t irritate him any less.

He sweeps Dean’s arms off his shoulders and takes a step backward.

“You’re not doing this, Dean. You are not going to blame yourself. And don’t even think about trying to run off again, because I won’t let you!”

Dean finally meets his gaze again.

“How can I not? I’m supposed to be the responsible one. I’m supposed to take care of you. Instead I’m corrupting you. I want you to be happy, but I’m screwing up your life!”

Sam balls up his hands at his side. He’d really like to literally knock some sense into Dean right now, but he knows that won’t work. So instead he gets right up in Dean’s space, fisting his hands in the front of Dean’s shirt and scowling up at him.

“STOP THIS!” He shouts right into Dean’s face.

He sees the surprise flash through Dean’s eyes. Sam isn’t typically the aggressive or confrontational brother, so he knows Dean isn’t expecting this type of behavior from him, but he has to make his brother understand.

“You’re not screwing up anything! I want this, Dean! I want _you_! You’re not corrupting me and you’re not being irresponsible! Do you understand?! This is my decision, too! Enough with your eternal guilty conscience bullshit already! You’re not doing anything wrong!”

Something slowly shifts behind Dean’s eyes, and Sam knows he’s finally getting through to Dean.

“Please, Dean. This isn’t about faults or responsibilities. The bottom line is that I love you and I want to be with you. And if you want to be with me, then that’s all that should matter. All you have to do is love me and take care of me. That’s all I want from you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.

“We can’t keep doing this forever. You feeling guilty and punishing yourself, while I’m watching you fall apart from the outside. I’m the one that ends up getting hurt every time you shut me out. I always feel like I’ve done something wrong or made you angry with me. It hurts, Dean, and it kills me to watch you suffer like that. This isn’t wrong, Dean. It can’t be.”

He watches Dean’s face as what he’s saying finally sinks in.  

“You’ve done nothing but love me my entire life. You haven’t screwed me up. You aren’t to blame for anything. I think you’re amazing and that you’ve done a pretty fantastic job of raising me. So stop feeling guilty when there’s nothing to feel guilty about. You didn’t ruin me. I just happen to be in love with you. Can’t it just be that simple?”

A huge grin suddenly breaks out over Dean’s face and he lunges toward Sam and captures his lips, wrapping up Sam in his arms and pulling him against his chest as he plunders Sam’s mouth, Sam’s arms crushed between them. He doesn’t pull away until Sam whines into his mouth.

His smile is softer as he gives Sam a look filled with all the different forms of love he feels for his brother.

“I’m sorry, Sammy. You’re right. I do want to be with you, wrong or not. I can’t guarantee that there won’t be moments where I’ll still feel like I’ve ruined your chances at normal, no matter what you say, but I want to make this work and I’m willing to do anything. Even though you’re too good for me. I just want you to be happy, Sam…because I, well…you know…I-“

Sam shakes his head and tries not to smile.

“Just say it, jerk.”

“Becauseiloveyou.”

A shit eating grin makes its way onto Sam’s face.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“Because I love you, Sam! Gah, you’re such a bitch.”

“Yep.” He agrees and then leans in to peck Dean on the lips.

Dean presses their lips together again, letting the kiss meld into something sweet and caring as another breeze picks up, causing Sam’s hair to flutter and tickle Dean’s face. He exhales a sigh that Sam knows is full of all the emotion Dean’s been keeping pent up throughout the day. He kisses Sam again briefly and then rests his forehead against Sam’s, his eyes remaining closed, but Sam’s are open and he is watching Dean very closely.

“I’m sorry I keep hurting you, Sammy. I swear I won’t ever do it again. I know it’s hard for me to say, but I really do love you. More than anything else in this world. You have to believe that, baby. And I promise to stop being such a pain the ass, okay?”

Sam pecks his lips again and Dean’s eyes open. Sam is mesmerized by the way the sun dances off the jade irises and the happiness he can see reflected in them.

“Good. Because that’s supposed to be my job.” He giggles.

And then he’s kissing Sam again because how could he not, and Sam is kissing him back as good as he’s getting. After a moment, Sam’s arms are around his neck and his hips are fit snugly against Dean’s. He knows they’re in public, but Dean can’t stop himself from sliding one hand down to Sam’s ass and massaging, keeping Sam pressed up against him, while the other hand slides up the back of Sam’s shirt to feel the satiny smooth skin. Dean has to pull away when he feels Sam start grinding against him hesitantly and then let out a needy little whimper into Dean’s mouth.

“I swear, you’re gonna be the death of me, baby boy. I’d love nothing more than to be doing the dirty with you right here, right now, but we gotta get on the road.”

Sam rolls his eyes.

“Ever the charmer, Dean.”

And once again, the boys get on their way. They’re about an hour outside of Sioux Falls when Sam finally has the nerve to ask what he’s been biting back for the past few hundred miles.

“Do we really have to go to Uncle Bobby’s tonight? We could rent a motel room a few miles outside of town and drive in in the morning.”

Dean looks over and studies Sam. He has a suggestive little smile on his face, but he looks happy and hopeful for the first time in a long time.

“Dad’s expecting us tonight, Sammy. He’s gonna be pissed if we’re not there.”

Sam nods and the smile on his face falls, leaving him looking dejected and crushed. Dean’s heart sinks and he sighs and reaches over to ruffle Sam’s hair.

“Alright. Let’s stop and get a room. I’ll call dad and tell him we had some car trouble and we probably won’t make it until tomorrow morning.”

Sam gives him a blinding smile.

“Thanks, Dean. I just wanna be alone with you. Just one more night.”

Dean lets out a low chuckle; something dark and tinged with mischief.

“That’s fine with me, Sammy.” He reaches over to squeeze Sam’s thigh, giving him a heated look as he nearly whispers, “Now I have all night to fucking bury myself inside you and fill you up, baby boy.”

Sam’s breathing hitches audibly and he shivers.

Dean reaches into his jacket pocket to pull out his cell, hitting the number two speed dial. It rings twice before his dad picks up, and just as he does, Dean slides his fingers over to cup Sam’s dick through his jeans.

“What is it, Dean?” His dad asks gruffly.

Dean squeezes Sam softly, earning him a whimper from his little brother.

“Was that Sam? What’s happened?”

Dean pulls his hand away to hold a finger to his lips, urging Sam to be quiet as he gives him a wink. Sam shoots him a dirty look.

“Sammy’s fine, dad. But I’m having some problems with the car. I think the radiator’s cracked. I’m leaking fluid all over the road. We’re probably going to have to pull over for the night. I’ll get it patched first thing tomorrow and we should be at Bobby’s around noon.”

“Dammit, Dean. I told you to take care of that car! You can’t even fucking do that! Probably got distracted chasing some skirt again. I’m shocked you’ve managed to keep your brother safe.”

Dean clenches his teeth and reaches over again to cup Sam. It’s a little rougher than he meant to, and Sam whines. Dean pulls his hand away and slides two fingers into Sam’s mouth hoping it’ll keep him quiet. Sam starts sucking and massaging with his tongue, though, and now Dean is having a hard time holding back his own moans.

He clears his throat, “I can take of Sam just fine, dad. Believe me.” He strokes his thumb over Sam’s bottom lip. Sam looks up and meets his eyes with a lust addled gaze. “And it’s probably just the hose. I’ll walk to a repair shop tomorrow and buy a new one. It’s no big deal.”

“No big deal, my ass. I specifically warned you about letting anything happen to that car. Well, I hope that piece of ass you managed to snag was worth it, because you’re going to be doing ten mile runs twice a day for a week.”

Dean looks back at Sam and smirks, watching as his little brother works his finger, drool dripping down Sam’s mouth and Dean’s fingers. Dean’s dick twitches aggressively in his pants, and he can’t help but think just how worth it it is.

“Yessir.” He says a little too cheerfully for his dad’s liking.

If he begs nice enough and bargains with Sam, he bets he can get the younger hunter to run all ten miles with him. They’ll just have to make a few pit stops during their runs for him to do some kind of sexual favor for Sam.

“Last warning, Dean, watch your mouth or you’re gonna be on grave digging duty on hunts for the next six months.”

“Yessir. Sorry, sir.” Dean says obediently like the good little soldier he tries to be.

“No more fucking around. I want you and Sam here no later than noon tomorrow, or I really will put you on grave digging duty.”

The line clicks and then goes dead. Sometimes Dean would like nothing more than to take Sam and run. Hole up in a motel room for a couple of days, fuck his brother’s brains out, and then maybe take an extended vacation. Preferably to somewhere with a beach. Just the two of them. But they can’t. They know they can’t. This is their job. The family business, and they have lives to save. Not to mention the fact that their father would hunt them down and tan their hides raw if they ever went AWOL on him.

Dean looks back at Sam and presses his thumb against Sam’s throat gently, signaling him to release his fingers.  

“Was he pissed?” Sam asks, downy cheeks pink with his flush, mouth red and shiny with spit.

“Of course. But it’s absolutely worth it, baby.”

He doesn’t miss the shiver that runs over Sam’s body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to say really quickly that I'm horrible at romance. I mean, I watch romantic movies and shit, but that's about it. Like, my idea of romance is being left he hell alone for a week after one date. So if my romantic scenes suck, that's probably why.


	15. All We Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a first for them, but it's not THE first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, one chapter to go. I'm so sad that it's almost over. I've so enjoyed getting to talk to so many of you and getting feedback. I am so deeply thankful to each and every one of you for deciding to give this story a shot and sticking with it. And I'm so happy I was able to write something so many of you enjoyed. I couldn't ask for anything better or a better accomplishment. Thank you all!
> 
> I will try to have the final chapter out in a few days. I'm only about a fourth of the way done, but I promise I'll try as hard as I can to have it out sooner than later.
> 
> Enjoy chapter 15!

Dean decides to play it safe and rent a room quite a ways from Sioux Falls. He doesn’t want to risk being close enough to the city that their dad or Bobby could drive by and see the Impala parked in the parking lot of some sleezy motel down the street.

He’s made a promise to Sam and he wants to stick to it, even if it probably makes him as nervous just thinking about it as it does Sam. He swore he would be Sam’s first, but he wants to make it as special for Sam as he possibly can because Sam deserves that and so much more. Dean’s never been good at being romantic, but he’ll try his best for Sam. Starting with renting an actual _hotel_ room.

They make their way up to their room once Dean checks them in, Sam leading the way with Dean following behind him carrying their bags. Sam gets the door open for them and then freezes in the doorway as he takes in the room.

One queen sized bed.  

Dean watches him for a second before noticing the rapid rise and fall of Sam’s chest. He nudges Sam’s back, urging him to step into the room. Sam takes only a few steps, enough to let Dean walk past him, but Dean knows he’s absolutely terrified. He sets their things down on the on one of the chairs in the corner before walking back to Sam.

He bends and places a light kiss to Sam’s cheek. Sam clearly wasn’t aware of Dean’s proximity to him and wasn’t expecting it because he jumps about a foot into the air.

“It’s alright, Sammy. Why don’t you go get cleaned up? I’ll wait right here.”

Sam looks up at him with huge eyes and nods his head.

Dean is at a loss. He has no idea how to do this. Not just because this is his brother, but because most people he’s slept with in the past were more than eager to do it. But he’s Sam’s first, and Sam has every reason to be afraid right now. He’s about to lose his virginity, and the last time he came even remotely close, it was with some fucking asshole who had been trying to rape him. And then there’d been the shit with the truckers not even twenty four hours ago.

When ten minutes go by and Sam still hasn’t emerged from the bathroom, Dean decides it’s probably time to go check on him. He knocks softly on the door a few times before calling out to him.

“Sammy? You okay in there?”

But he gets no answer. He turns the knob and the door is unlocked. Sam is standing in front of the mirror staring at himself, just as stock still as he had been when he’d first entered the room.

\------------------------------------

 

Sam hasn’t moved since he walked into the bathroom. The last ten minutes spent studying his own reflection in the mirror.

The cut on his lip is still there, but far less noticeable. As is the bruise on his cheekbone. The wound on his neck is still healing, but it’s not as vibrant as it was yesterday. It’s definitely still obvious, though. He’s just happy the slap that Greg landed didn’t also bruise the other side of his face.

He doesn’t even have to bother to lift his shirt to know what he’ll find there. More bruises and plenty of tiny white scars acquired over the years from hunting and his everyday clumsiness.

He’s still so small. Slender and compact. Nothing like how Dean had been at this age. He has far less visible muscle than Dean had had, too. His skin is paler than Dean’s and his eyes aren’t as bright. His hair never sits perfectly like Dean’s does either.

Sam has been self- conscious more than once in his life due to Dean’s presence. Girls of all ages have always had their attention drawn to Dean, and Sam has always just been an after- thought. But this is the first time he’s been self- conscious _because_ _of_ Dean. His brother is so far out of his league that he doesn’t understand how he’s even managed to capture Dean’s attention. 

He doesn’t respond when his brother calls to him through the door, or react when he opens the door and stares at him.

“Sammy?” Dean croons in what he hopes is a comforting tone.

It still gets no reaction from Sam.

“Sam, I meant it when I said you don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. We don’t have to do this tonight. We have all the time in the world. I don’t want this to be something you feel like you have to do. I love you, Sam. I can wait until you’re ready. There’s no rush.”

“What do you even see in me, Dean? Why can’t I be pretty like you?” Sam blurts without thinking.

It’s not anything close to what Dean was expecting, and it breaks his heart to think that Sam could ever he think he was anything but beautiful.

He wraps his arms around Sam’s middle, pulling Sam back against his chest. He bends so that he can place another gentle kiss on Sam’s cheek and then rests his chin on Sam’s shoulder, meeting his eyes in the mirror.

“You don’t see yourself the way I do, Sammy. I know you won’t believe me, but I think you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Dean drops his hands down to tug at the hem of Sam’s shirt. “Let me show you.” He whispers hotly against Sam’s ear.

Sam lifts his arms, allowing Dean to pull the garment from his body. Dean places one of his huge hands across Sam’s chest, the other resting low on Sam’s stomach.

“Look how beautiful you are, Sammy. All this soft and creamy skin. You know I spend a good chunk of my time thinking about how long it would take me to lick every inch of it?” Sam whimpers, but Dean isn’t anywhere close to being done. “And your body, Sam. You have no idea how many times a day I think about touching you. How to get you to wrap those insanely hot legs around my waist. And I won’t even start in on the fantasies I have about your sweet little mouth.”

Sam gasps, letting his eyes slip closed, and Dean watches as a flush bleeds across his face and chest. Dean’s hand slowly dips lower towards Sam’s waistband and he drags his lips briefly to kiss the side of his neck before returning them to their prior position and continuing to speak filth into Sam’s ear.

“Can’t take my eyes off you any time you’re around, baby boy.” He gives Sam’s crotch a single squeeze, but it’s enough to make Sam’s knees wobbly. “Look, Sam. Look how fucking beautiful you are.” 

Sam looks back at his reflection with heavy lidded eyes. He looks incredibly flustered already. But Dean… Dean looks just as composed as he always is. Cool smile, mischievous eyes, a slight pink tint to his cheeks. And he’s staring at Sam with so much lust, and his hands are rubbing so perfectly, and every word that’s coming out of his mouth has a direct connection to Sam’s cock. Dean knows him so well and it just isn’t fair.

“Don’t you realize how much I want you? That ain’t ‘cause you’re not attractive, Sam.”

“Oh, Dean.”

The little moan has Dean’s dick waking up so quickly that it has him reeling.

“What is it, baby? Gotta tell me what you want.”

He watches their reflection as Sam grabs his hand and starts moving it around on his own crotch again, his eyes slipping shut once more.

“Wanna feel you, Dean.” He groans out, his voice already sounding wrecked to his own ears.

If Dean’s head wasn’t spinning before, it certainly is now.

“Yeah? Tell me where, Sammy.”

“On me. Want your mouth on me.”

Dean flicks his tongue over Sam’s ear before whispering “Where do you want my mouth, baby boy?”

And Sam loses it. He’s using Dean’s hand to push harder and faster along his crotch through the thick denim of his jeans. He needs release.

“On my dick, Dean. Please. I need it. Need it so bad.”

And fuck, if it isn’t the hottest thing to hear his little brother talk like that.

“Anything you want, Sam.”

He pulls his hands away and grips Sam’s hips, spinning him around and pushing him back against the bathroom sink, pinning Sam’s hips there with his hands. He undoes Sam’s pants and has them down so fast that Sam looks like he having a lot of trouble just trying to process the action.

Dean nuzzles against the smooth flesh above his little brother’s hard little prick. Sam is so warm and he smells like clean sweat and hotel soap. He lets himself gently lap at Sam’s hip bone for a moment and has to tighten his grip when the action makes Sam’s legs shake.

“Dean! _Please_!” Sam is literally begging now.

Dean’s never done this before, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand the basics. He’s gotten head before, so he’s pretty sure he’ll be able to figure it out without too much trouble. Odds are that Sam will like what he likes. And he really wants Sam’s first experience with having his dick sucked to be a good one.

“You have to tell me if it’s too much, Sam. If you’re not ready for this, it’s okay. But you have to talk to me, kiddo.”

Sam forces his eyes open, meeting Dean’s, and runs his fingers through Dean’s short hair.

“’M f-fine, Dean. Please.”

The stutter makes Dean smirk. He knows just how hot his brother is for this. The evidence is right in front of his face. Not to mention the fact that his brother’s entire body is trembling.

The second Dean’s tongue touches his hard and heated flesh, Sam’s knees give out. Sam is small, but it’s hard for Dean to hold up the entirety of his little brother’s weight in this position. So he stands, keeping a firm grip on Sam.

“No, D-Dean. P-please. I need you.”

“It’s alright, baby boy. I’m just gonna make this more comfortable for you.”

He scoops Sam up without any of the usual protests from his little brother and carries him back into the room, lying him down on the bed. He strips Sam completely and then lowers himself over his little brother’s body. He doesn’t want to jump right back into it, and instead starts placing kisses on the inside of Sam’s knee and makes his way up the inside of Sam’s thigh. Gentle kisses and bites interlaced until he’s hardly an inch from Sam’s cock.

Sam’s already so wet. His dick shiny and red as pre-cum blurts out in steady trails. He’s whimpering like crazy, and Dean can clearly see the way Sam’s fists are balled at his side in an attempt at self- restraint. He grabs one of Sam’s hands and rests it on top of his own head.

“Remember, Sammy, tell me if it gets to be too much.”

Dean places a single kiss on the head of Sam’s dick, and then his entire mouth is enveloping Sam. Immediately Sam’s hand tightens on what little bit of hair he manages to grab.

“Oh my _god_! Dean!”

The taste isn’t what Dean had imagined. It’s slightly salty from Sam’s sweat, but mostly Sam just tastes like _warmth_ and familiarity and absolute heaven. He sucks lightly, flicking his tongue around every few seconds. He’s trying to keep things as simple as possible for now so as not to overwhelm Sam. He fits easily in Dean’s mouth, but Dean can tell Sam’ll be pretty impressive in this department before too much longer.

He starts sucking a little harder, his tongue alternating between giving kitten licks to Sam’s slit and the ridge, and now Sam’s other hand is gripping his shoulder. Dean opens his eyes and just watches Sam.

Fuck, his baby brother is gorgeous. His eyes are squeezed shut so tightly that Dean’s is actually a little worried that he might rupture something. His entire face, chest and neck are tinged pink, highlighting the sheen of sweat that’s starting to coat Sam’s body. His mouth hangs open as he pants, trying his best to get more oxygen into his body.

Dean figures it’s probably okay for him to go a little further, so he uses his hand now, too. Twisting and sliding as his mouth works Sam like he does this every day.

“More, Dean. Come on. Please.”    

Dean pulls off for a moment.

“Are you sure, Sam? I don’t want it to be too much for you.”

“ _Please_ , Dean! M-more! I… I wanna come.”

Dean feels his cock give a very interested jerk, and he closes his eyes and goes straight back to work on Sam. He licks once all the way up the shaft, and then takes Sam all the way down easily. Sam’s dick hits the back of his throat and he hears his brother moan. Dean is constant and unrelenting. His tongue working as he sucks Sam vigorously. He bobs his head faster and faster and Sam starts letting out the most addicting little sounds Dean’s ever heard in his life. Some hot fucking cross of a hiccupping whimper and an airy moan.

Sam’s hand has a death grip on his shoulder, and the hand on Dean’s head is planted firmly at this base of his skull as he begins to fuck up into Dean’s mouth. Dean isn’t expecting it and he chokes just a little, but Sam is too far gone to notice. He endures it for a moment longer before using his hands to pin Sam’s hips to the bed, squeezing them firmly. He slides his mouth down until his nose is buried in the small thatch of hair above Sam’s dick, and takes Sam all the way down until he can feel Sam against the back of his throat again.

“Uh, Dean! Nngh, huh!”

And the hot little noises just keep coming and spur Dean on all the more. He gets an idea and only considers it briefly before he snaps into action.

He uses his mouth to create a vacuum around Sam’s dick, keeping Sam in the back of his throat, then slides a finger into his mouth alongside Sam in order to work up more drool.

“Ah! Holy shit, Dean!”

Under normal circumstances, Dean would probably chastise Sam about his language a little, but right now it’s getting him even harder. And he can only imagine how tight and hot the inside of his mouth probably is right now.

He brushes his finger softly along the side of Sam’s member, drool leaking steadily out of his mouth, down Sam’s dick and running over his balls. He’s squirming and writhing and Dean decides to go for it.

He withdraws his finger, keeping his mouth tight around Sam. He slides his finger down to rub against Sam’s hole, applying the slightest bit of pressure, and then ever so slightly, he slips the tip of the digit easily inside.

“Dean! Dean! Oh, fuck, Dean!”

His finger isn’t inside Sam for longer than a few seconds before Sam is shooting down his throat, Sam’s fingernails digging into his head and shoulder. Sam’s hips jerk spastically as he arches up off the bed. Dean doesn’t stop sucking until Sam is whining and pushing at Dean’s shoulder, urging Dean to release him.

Dean pulls off slowly, letting his tongue lap up the few drops of cum he missed and the couple that are spattering Sam’s smooth thighs. He kisses each spot after licking up the salty substance, feeling the shudders that are still wracking Sam’s body. And he takes a minute just to suck and lick at Sam’s little hipbone because he might be a little fucking obsessed with the way they jut out like a beacon for Dean’s mouth.

Sam is sex stupid and out of it right now. Eyes shut, face flushed and hair mussed and so incredibly fucking sexy that Dean has all sorts of fantasies running through his head at the moment.

Dean is so hard right now that he feels like his skin might just burst into flame. He crawls off Sam and pulls himself up the bed, lying on his back next to his little brother’s lethargic form.

He has his pants down and his dick out and in hand in record time. He’s so fucking hard and wet. Like, he’s never been this fucking hard or wet in his life. His hand gliding smoothly and effortlessly up and down his cock. He bites his lip, trying to keep in his moan so he won’t disturb Sam. His eyes slip closed in ecstasy, but shoot open a moment later when he feels a light touch on his hand.

Sam is staring at him sleepily, but there’s a desire in his eyes the likes of which Dean has never seen before. He pushes Dean’s hand away, replacing it with his own. Dean moans immediately at the contact. Sam’s hands are so soft and they grip Dean so perfectly that he can’t help but cry out.

“Fuck, baby, so goddamn perfect.”

His motions are slow and hesitant and Dean knows it’s because he’s never done anything even remotely like this before. Sam has probably only just recently discovered how he likes to jerk himself off. It’s probably even more daunting now that he’s doing it to someone else. Especially since that someone else is very experienced older brother.

There’s a brief moment where Dean thinks he should give Sam the time to figure out the specifics of a good hand job, but he’s just too fucking hard to be concerned about anything other than getting off.

He wraps his hand around Sam’s and jerks himself faster, squeezing Sam’s hand around him with just a little more pressure.

“Oh, shit! Just like that, Sammy. Please, baby boy. Oh, Christ, your fucking hand. So fucking good. I just… I’m gonna cum. Fuck! Sam!”

And then he’s shooting all over Sam’s hand and his stomach. It’s thick, unlike Sam’s, and more white than clear. Sam can’t believe how warm it is, and he can even kind of smell it, but he really doesn’t mind.

He stares at the shiny, slick mess Dean made and curiosity gets the better of him. He slips one finger at a time into his mouth until he’s licked every digit clean. He’s not crazy about the taste, but the fact that it’s Dean makes it so fucking addicting. He sucks until all he can taste is his skin, Dean watching him the entire time as he tries to catch his breath.

“Fuck, baby. I swear you’re gonna fucking kill me. You’re just too fuckin’ hot.”

Sam looks at him as if he hasn’t got a clue what Dean’s talking about. Dean smiles and pulls Sam down on top of him, kissing the taste of himself out of Sam’s mouth. They’re both still a little sweaty, but Dean likes the way the slickness of their skin feels pressed against each other. He doesn’t let up on the kiss until Sam starts gently grinding against him like it’ll hurt one of them if he does it much harder.

“Uh-uh, baby. That’s enough for right now. It’s time for you to get some sleep. We still have tomorrow morning.”

“No! Dean! I still want you inside me. Please! Your finger wasn’t enough.”

The words have Dean’s dick making a valiant attempt at waking up, but it’s too soon and they’re both too tired.

“Like I said, we still have tomorrow morning.”

Sam gives him a look, and then sighs and concedes.

“Fine. But if I have to sleep all naked and gross, then so do you.”

He pulls at the bottom of Dean’s shirt, and Dean lifts his arms to assist Sam in its removal. He yanks his pants the rest of the way off, and his damp boxers before climbing under the covers with Sam.

Instead of turning away from Dean like he normally does, Sam faces Dean’s chest and snuggles right up against him.

“’Night, Dean.”

Dean wraps an arm around him and pulls him what little bit closer he can, placing a single kiss on the top of Sam’s head.

“’Night, Sammy.”


	16. Facing The Odds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really sorry that this last chapter took me so long to get out! My schedule last week was insane and I was dedicating every spare minute to writing this. I didn't even have more than an hour at a time until yesterday. I promise I wasn't just slacking off! 
> 
> I've gotten a few questions about if I'll be writing a sequel, and I have a few plans, but nothing concrete. You guys can leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts about whether or not you'd like a part two.
> 
> For the last time, I wanted to say thank you to each and every one of you for reading and sticking it out with me until the end. Y'all are amazing! It's been so great to hear how much you've enjoyed my story. I've loved getting to read every comment and see every kudos! Thank you so much!
> 
> Now, without further adieu, here is the final chapter of Nothing We Can't Handle.

Dean stirs hours later. He can tell it’s early. The sun isn’t even up yet behind the curtains. A glance at the clock reveals he’s correct; it’s nearly five in the morning. He looks over at his still sleeping brother. Sometime during the night Sam turned away from him and spread himself out on his stomach, pushing the sheets nearly completely off his body. Dean can’t help but stare at all of the exposed creamy looking skin. He knows it’s early, and that he should let Sam sleep and not be thinking about running his tongue down Sam’s spine, but the more he thinks about it, the harder it makes him. He’s trying very hard to reason with himself to let his little brother sleep.

And then before he can stop himself, his lips press to Sam’s back and caress Sam’s sleep warm skin. A part of him feels wrong about it, that he’s taking advantage, but he won’t let Sam sleep through all the fun.

He kisses halfway down Sam’s spine and then his tongue darts out to slide along the remainder of the way. He halts at Sam’s hip, kissing along his lower back. He’s debating with himself internally for a moment, but that’s all the time he gives himself to think any further on his actions.

Gently, so as not to wake Sam, he parts Sam’s cheeks. Sam’s hole is pink and soft looking, and it makes Dean’s mouth water. He’s never thought about doing this before, and honestly, part of him still isn’t sure if he wants to. But the image that keeps popping into his head of the look Sam will have on his face as Dean eats him out overpowers his apprehension.

His tongue flicks out, licking flat across the width of Sam’s hole. Sam doesn’t even budge. Dean laps a few more times, paying the edges special attention so that he can soften them. Then he’s pointing his tongue and diving right into Sam’s hole. It’s not a taste he can describe. It’s not necessarily bad, just a little pungent and foreign. The salt of Sam’s sweat from not showering yesterday being what he’s most aware of.

The second Sam feels Dean’s tongue dip inside him his eyes shoot open and his whole body freezes. He doesn’t move, doesn’t stop Dean, doesn’t do anything. Just lies there and takes it. It’s a strange feeling at first, but the more spit Dean works up over his hole, the more Sam is liking it.

He tries to keep still as Dean’s tongue becomes more deliberate inside him, but he can’t. He feels so wet now, and so absolutely filthy with Dean’s spit running down over his balls. He hears Dean chuckle, and that’s when he realizes he’s started grinding his hips into the mattress.

“This making you all hot for me, Sammy?”

And then Dean is _sucking_ at his fucking hole, and fuck, if that doesn’t make Sam completely crazy.

“Dean!” He cries out as he reaches back and pushes Dean’s head more firmly against his backside, sticking out his ass so that Dean has no other choice but to continue his assault.

Sam is panting and gasping nonstop, so close to coming when Dean pulls away.

“Fuck, Dean, _please_!”

“It’s alright, Sammy. I’ll let you come. But I wanna see your face when you do.”

Panic flares up inside Sam suddenly.

“No, want you inside me when I do.”

Dean’s entire body shivers at that.

“We’ll get to that, baby. But I gotta make sure you’re as relaxed as possible if we want this to work.”

He grabs Sam’s leg, urging him to turn over. He’s met with the most beautiful sight he could ever imagine. Sam’s little flushed and weeping cock, his face and neck tinted with a blush, and a glassy and fucked out look to his eyes that just peek out from beneath Sam’s damp bangs.

He lowers himself over Sam and props himself up on a forearm so that their faces are just inches apart. He wants to see Sam the entire time without the risk of missing a moment of this.

Dean presses two fingers to Sam’s lips, Sam’s eyes slip closed and he obediently opens his mouth and takes the fingers in; laving Dean’s fingers. It doesn’t take longer before they’re coated, and Dean slides them out easily.

“Sammy, I need you to look at me, baby boy.”

Sam’s eyes only open halfway and he fixes Dean with the most wanton look Dean has ever seen in his life. There are so many things he wants to do to his brother right now, but it’s not the time. He needs to focus.

“If this gets to be too much, you tell me, Sam. Understood? Or this will be the one and only time this happens.”

Sam nods fervently.

“I need you to say it, Sam.”

“I understand,” Sam answers in a shaky voice.

Dean slips the still wet fingers into Sam’s hole. It’s a bit of a stretch, but Dean made sure he was plenty wet for it. The intrusion makes Sam whine, and he squirms at the feeling. It’s nothing like he thought. He just feels full and uncomfortable and his ass kind of burns a little.

“You alright, Sammy?”

Sam’s eyes are screwed shut. He’s trying to focus on Dean’s voice and not the fact that Dean’s fingers are inside him, stretching him in a way he’s never felt before. He’s suddenly aware when Dean starts doing something odd with his fingers. Almost as if he’s searching for something in the way they crook and bend inside him. Then Dean is touching something that make his hips shoot off the bed and have him crying out.

“Dean! Oh god!”

Dean chuckles again and kisses Sam’s cheek.

“I’ll make you come now, baby.”

He starts rubbing relentlessly at whatever it is inside of Sam that's making him go crazy until Sam is thrashing and writhing on the bed. He couldn’t stop moaning now if his life depended on it. He can feel tears prick at his eyes the closer he gets to orgasm. It’s amazing and Sam didn’t know he could ever feel this way, but now he wants to all the time.

He comes after a few moments longer, crying out Dean’s name. His whole body feels overheated and he can’t catch his breath. He winces when Dean runs a hand over his cock. He’s still too sensitive to be touched right now. Dean finally pulls his hand off when Sam whines.

He feels Dean’s mouth on his a moment later, but he’s still too out of to really do much, so the kiss is wet and sloppy. He relaxes some at the feel of Dean’s hand sliding up his side, but it becomes uncomfortable after a moment when his skin becomes tacky from the drying come Dean’s fingers leave behind.

Dean scoops up the splotches Sam shot off on his stomach and glides his hand down, his mouth continuing to move against Sam's as a distraction while his hand slides back down between Sam’s legs and three of his fingers slip inside. Sam is loose now and takes all three fairly easily. It’s amazing the way Sam’s bodily has so easily opened up for him. Like it knows that Dean’s meant to be inside him.

Dean has never been this hard in his life, and it’s taking every ounce of his willpower not to rip his finger’s out of his little brother’s hole and plow into him. He knows Sam would let him, and he can just imagine the feel of the pliant body around him, but it wouldn’t be right. He doesn’t want that to be how Sam’s first time goes. Dean does not like chick flick moments, but maybe he wants this to be more like love making than fucking.

He pulls his fingers out after deeming Sam ready and positions himself over his little brother, reaching between them to grab his own cock and line it up with Sam’s hole.

“Remember, Sammy, tell me if it’s too much.”

It’s without a doubt the best thing Dean has ever felt in his life. His brother’s tight and warm walls hug him so sweetly that his head is swimming. It’s amazing and Dean couldn’t have imagined anything better.

“Oh, fuck. So fucking perfect for me, baby. So hot and wet inside. Jesus, Sammy. You’re gonna have me coming in seconds.”

He holds himself still so that that doesn’t happen. He watches his little brother closely, studying his reactions.

Dean is not small in any sense of the word, and now he’s glad he’s forcing himself to hold still because the pain is very clear on Sam’s face and in the way he’s gripping the sheets at his sides.

He drops his head and buries it in the crook of Sam’s neck, panting hotly against the skin.

“Oh, Sammy, I’m so sorry, baby. It’ll get better. I promise.” He says soothingly because he can’t offer to stop. After feeling what it’s like to be inside Sam, there’s no way he can stop now.

His mouth nibbles and laps at Sam’s neck before moving back to Sam’s mouth. He’s plundering deeply and thoroughly, but he’s still not getting much from Sam. So he kisses Sam deeper, using one hand to pin Sam’s shoulder while the other holds his weight. Sam finally responds and it’s enough of the distraction Dean needs to be able to slide the rest of the way into Sam, and now Dean is unable to kiss. His mouth sliding away from Sam’s as his head falls to rest on Sam’s shoulder.

“Holy shit, Sammy. You’re gonna kill me.” And then he starts mouthing at Sam’s shoulder as his hips move in tiny increments, slowly letting Sam adjust to the movement.

Ever so slowly, Sam’s legs fall apart, allowing Dean the room to fall between them and actually start thrusting now. He isn’t sure if the pain has totally subsided for Sam, but he hopes it’s tolerable enough that he doesn’t have to hold back anymore.

The first real thrust is slow and deep. It’s so perfect that it has Dean wanting to come right away. Sam was made for him. He’s absolutely sure of it now.

Something must have changed for Sam, because now he has one leg hitched over Dean’s hip, draping across his lower back and ass. Sam’s fingers dust lightly up his ribs, touching dozens of tiny scars that sit on the elder hunter’s body. The touch makes them both shiver; Dean because of the gentle nature of it, and Sam because it reminds him of each time his amazing big brother could’ve been taken away from him.

His hands slide around Dean’s sides and clutch at his back, nails dragging teasingly along the skin and wrapping his other leg around Dean’s hip. Dean drops his head again to kiss Sam this time. They’re both pretty sure they’d give anything to freeze the world around them and stay in this moment of bliss forever.

Dean begins to thrust harder and Sam’s thighs tighten around him suddenly.

“Ah! D-Dean! M-more! Wanna…feel you deeper!” Sam moans against his mouth.

That’s got Dean’s guts churning out liquid heat in the pit of his stomach and his hips stutter for only a moment before they pick up in speed and brutality. He’s trying to keep this good for Sam. Trying to display some of the technique and finesse he’s capable of, but it just feels _so fucking good._

He’s fully sheathed inside Sam and he knows his little brother is feeling every inch of him by the way his hole tightens around Dean and the way his mouth opens in silent shouts of ecstasy.

“Love seeing you like this, baby boy. Wanna see it all the fucking time. So pretty the way you open for me. You feel so- uh!- so perfect. Gonna have to spread you out for me all the time. So fucking beautiful, Sammy.”

“Jesus, Dean! _Please!_ ”

Dean moves his mouth the few inches to Sam’s ear.

“I really wanna see you come, baby.”

The sound Sam makes is indescribable, but Dean wants to record it and play it on a loop every second for the rest of his life. It’s without a doubt the hottest fucking sound he’s ever heard. So raw and desperate and Dean needs to hear it again and again.

He’s slamming into Sam now. His little brother’s body taking every thrust like a champ. Dean will analyze it later, but it gets him so hot to see the way Sam’s small, lithe little body is splayed out under him getting rammed by his cock.

The wet squelchy-squishy sounds that Sam’s body makes every time he slides in and out are one of the hottest things Dean’s ever heard. Sam will probably think back on it later and get super embarrassed, but right now he couldn’t care less.

“Need…need to come, Dean!”

Dean’s gaze drops to Sam’s angry looking dick, and it’s so wet. He licks his lips subconsciously and continues plowing into Sam.

“Don’t worry, Sammy. I’ll take care of you.”

Dean places a single kiss to Sam’s throat and drops a hand between them. He barely gets it wrapped it around Sam’s cock before his little brother’s nails are biting into his shoulder, his other hand gripping Dean’s hair to keep his face pressed into Sam’s neck. Dean bites down and Sam’s shooting off all over himself.

“Dean! Dean! Dean! Shit, Dean!”

Sam’s eyes are screwed shut, his mouth hanging open as he shouts. He’s got a sweet little look on his face like he’s hurt, but also like he needs more of it. His hot walls squeeze around Dean so tightly that Dean feels a little like he might die. His fists tighten in the sheets beside Sam’s head, and then he’s coming inside his little brother.

“Fuck! Sammy!”

He collapses on top of Sam. They’re both sweaty and sticky and spent, but Dean loves every bit of it. He moves around a little until he slips out of Sam. He can feel as the sheets get damp between them and he knows it’s his come sliding out of Sam.

The last coherent thought Dean has is how fucking hot it is that _his cum_ is sliding out of his _baby brother’s body_ before he passes out. Sam really is his now.

\-------------------- 

 

Dean is awoken some time later by something wet and warm surrounding him. He isn’t sure how long he was out. He’s never in his life come so hard that he passed out. But he’s on his back now, the wet warmth he feels being Sam’s hole around him again. Sam is seated on top of him now, riding Dean’s dick like it’s the only thing that matters in the world.

Sam has to be swollen and sore, but that doesn’t seem to matter. He’s still wet inside with Dean’s cum and it has Dean sliding in and out of him in the most delicious way possible. He has no idea what he’s done to deserve Sam, but he’s so damn grateful.

Dean finally has found himself a lover whose sex drive seems to rival even his own. He’s kind of proud that that lover is none other than Sammy. He wants to laugh at that thought, but Sam feels too good, so instead he grabs Sam’s hips and helps his brother bounce on top of him.

Sam has an intent little look on his face, like he does whenever he’s doing his homework or conjugating Latin. He's completely focused, trying to find the right angle that lets Dean hit that spot and make him come as hard as he had before. He continues rocking for another few minutes, Dean’s grip firm and supportive, but it just isn’t enough.

“Dean, it’s not enough. Wanna feel you deeper inside me. Want you to fuck me hard.”

Dean nearly chokes at that.

“Jesus, Sammy. Can’t just say shit like that.”

But Sam lifts himself off Dean and turns around, falling to his hands and knees on the bed and displaying his wet, pink little hole to Dean.

“Please, Dean. Need to feel you so bad.”

Dean's sleepy and half hard cock is at full mast after hearing those words. There’s no more hesitation as he gets to his knees and shuffles toward Sam, grabbing his little brothers beautiful and tiny hips and plowing right into him. Sam cries out, but it’s not a painful cry. He starts immediately pushing back to meet Dean’s thrusts.

“Shit, Sammy, st-stop. Gonna…gonna make me come already.”

His grip tightens on Sam’s hips, causing him to slow. The thrusts become long and meticulous, teasing Sam more than really trying to get him off again.

“Dean,” Sam whines annoyed, but Dean ignores him.

Sam is beautiful even from this angle. All smooth skin and little white scars, back arching slightly like a cat’s. He can see every one of Sam’s vertebrae and doesn’t stop himself from bending over and kissing the ones he can reach as he continues to languidly thrust inside Sam.

“Dean.” This whine is entirely different from the first, more pleading than irritation.

Dean smirks and just keeps thrusting. He carries on this way for a while, un-rushed and content until Sam starts whining again.

“More, Dean. Need you to touch me. Please.”

Dean obliges, wrapping a hand loosely around Sam’s incredibly wet prick.

“Feel so fucking amazing, Dean. Want you… want you all the time, big brother.”

Something inside of Dean bursts open at hearing his little brother talk like that. Like a dam of lust that overflows throughout his body and overtakes every other thought except Sam.

He plunges into Sam, jack hammering until Sam is crying out.

“Dean! I’m gonna come!”

Dean immediately halts, wrapping his arms around Sam and pulling him upright. They’re staring each other now in the dresser mirror and Dean has a fleeting thought that one of these days he’ll have to record them doing this.

“Uh-uh, baby. Not yet. Wanna see you.”

The angle is weird, but Dean shifts around a little until he can sink fully into Sam again, stabbing at his prostate relentlessly. Sam is crying out and panting and moaning, so desperate for release again already.

“Dean, let me come! Please! Please let me come! I need to so badly!”

Dean presses his mouth to Sam’s ear.

“Alright, Sammy. But keep your eyes open. Want you to see yourself when you come.”

He kisses Sam’s neck and watches as his little brother opens his eyes.

“Don’t look away, Sam.”

He keeps one arm wrapped around Sam’s chest as he begins thrusting again. His other hand is wrapped around Sam's dick and he's jerking Sam ferociously now.

Sam’s body goes lax, trying to curl in on itself because he’s no longer capable of holding himself up, but Dean’s grip on him tightens and keeps him upright. His hands and hips never once falter as he brings Sam closer to orgasm.

“Come on, baby. Wanna see it. Wanna watch as you make a mess all over yourself. Wanna see how hot I make you. Love watching you get off, Sam. I’m the only one who ever gets to see this. You hear me, Sam? You’re mine, baby boy. Nobody lays a fucking hand on you ever again except me. I’m the only one that gets to be inside you like this. I’m the only one that gets to make you come. You’re fucking mine. Say it!”

“Yours, Dean! I’m yours! Only ever been yours. Don’t want anyone else. Fuck, please, Dean! I need to come!”

Dean cocks his hips and pushes himself completely inside Sam, hitting his prostate dead on and staying there, pushing Sam over the edge.

“Oh, Dean!”

Sam’s beautiful as he comes. The way his mouth hangs open around a moan as he simultaneously tries to catch his breath, the way his body glistens with all the sweat on him, the way his hair sticks to his face, and the flush that’s all over his body. The sun is just barely peeking through the curtains now, and it lights up the mess of cum sitting on Sam’s body.

“Fuck, Sammy, look how much you come. So wet, baby.”

But Sam’s eyes remain shut as he continues to orgasm, his whole body shuddering. Dean keeps going as Sam’s hole clenches and loosens around him. He takes his cum-soaked hand off Sam’s dick and grabs Sam’s chin, turning the younger Winchester’s head around as much as he can to sloppily kiss him. The smaller teen whimpers, hips still thrusting into the air spastically as his cock shoots out the last little bits of his release. Dean moans loudly into Sam’s mouth and then he’s coming deep inside Sam.

“Sam! Sam! Ah, fuck, Sammy!”

He keeps his hold on Sam and brings them both back down to the bed, wrapping his arms back around Sam and kissing his shoulder a few times. He starts to move so he can pull out and get comfortable, but Sam grabs his arm.

“No, s-stay inside me, Dean. Please. Wanna feel you in me just a little longer.” Sam says on a shaky breath.

Dean moans, but he’s too exhausted to do more than pull Sam in for another sloppy kiss over Sam’s shoulder.

When they’ve caught their breath some time later, Dean pulls out and kisses Sam’s shoulder again, his cheek, and Sam’s lips once more.

“We gotta get cleaned up, Sammy.”

Sam makes a noncommittal noise, half asleep after their second round of activities. He’s pressing back against Dean and has no intention of moving yet.

“’s only seven in the morning, Dean. Check out isn’t until eleven.”

Dean’s eyes flick over Sam’s form to the clock on the nightstand. It is only seven. They’re good for another few hours. He settles back in behind Sam, pulling his brother’s limp and sleeping form against him. They doze for another two hours, then Dean makes them both get up and take a shower.

He gives Sam a hand job, and Sam pays him back by giving him the least refined, but best blow job he’s ever had in his life.

Sam uses a lot of tongue, but he sucks just hard enough. He even dares to use his teeth a few times, which goes surprisingly well. Dean can’t help but think what a natural he is. He has to be the luckiest mother fucker on earth to get to have Sam.

Sam takes Dean down all the way and just holds him in his throat, swallowing again and again and Dean ejaculates straight down his little brother’s throat.

“Shit, Sammy. Goddamn, you’re so fucking perfect, baby boy. Gonna keep you forever. Never gonna let anyone even look at you again.”

Sam chokes and sputters on Dean’s cum, but he doesn’t release Dean from his mouth. Not that he really could with Dean’s hand planted firmly on the back of his head.

Dean opens his eyes just in time to see the excess cum Sam couldn’t swallow dribbling out the side of Sam’s mouth. Sam is staring up at him with wide, glassy eyes and Dean pulls him up to his feet with a gentle tug on Sam’s hair. He licks the cum off of Sam’s chin and then seals his lips over Sam’s, pushing the cum into Sam’s mouth. They kiss until the taste of himself is gone from both of their mouths.

They both wash and manage to actually stay clean. Dean wonders if three orgasms is Sam’s limit, or if Sam’s capable of more and just needs some recovery time. Either way, it’s hands off once they get to Bobby’s. Dean knows Sam won’t like it, but they can’t risk getting caught. He’ll just have to will himself to not lay hands on his beautiful little brother until they have some alone time again away from Bobby and their father. But somehow he suspects Sam will probably try to convince him otherwise. And Dean’s pretty sure they can manage a couple of quick and silent hand jobs.

They eat breakfast in the lobby and get the Impala packed and loaded up when Dean’s phone rings.

“Yeah?”

“What the hell is that tone, Dean? And where the hell are you and Sam? I told you to get your asses here first thing, goddammit, and you still ain’t here! What kind of shit are you two getting up to now?!”

There’s a rustling sound and Dean hears Bobby yelling in the background for John to give him the phone.

“Dean? It’s Bobby. Ignore your old man. He’s just hungover and sore as hell. I told his grumpy ass to get some more rest. When do you boys think you’ll be rolling into town?”

“Hey, Bobby. Good to hear from you. We should be getting in in about an hour. Sorry it’s taking so long.”

“No worries. I’ll have fresh coffee and homemade apple pie for you two when you get here, so move your asses along before your dad eats it all.”

“Yes, sir.”

The line clicks, and Dean gets Sam settled into the car before going to check them out of their room.

They chat happily during the hour long drive, their hands entwined on Dean’s thigh the entire time. They’re both the happiest they’ve ever been.

When they pull up to the junk yard, the gate is open for them. Dean stops and idles in the entrance for a moment, both of their hands unclasping and falling away at the same time. They can see the house, but they’re far enough away that they won’t be seen. Dean pulls off to the side and parks. He’s not ready for all of this to come to an end. He just doesn’t understand why their lives will never allow them to be happy. And he’ll never admit it to Sam, but the thought of going into the house and getting dosed with reality has bile burning the back of his throat.

He and Sam will never be allowed this life outside of their own private little world. Their father and Bobby, along with the rest of the world would never understand. He loves his brother more than anything, but being with Sam and staying with him no matter what society deems appropriate will probably be the hardest thing the two of them will ever have to overcome. But he refuses to leave Sam’s side. Sam is his and he swore he would protect him. From anything and everything.

Dean turns to Sam to find his little brother staring back at him with a worried gaze. Although he wants to, he can’t risk kissing Sam right now, so he settles on ruffling Sam’s hair in what he hopes is at least a semi-comforting gesture.

“I hate this. It’s not fair.”

Dean nods once because he gets it. Sam is having the same exact thoughts as him.

“I know, Sammy. But it’s just for a little while.”

Sam lets out a deep sigh, having no other choice but to agree with Dean in the long run.

“So then what do we do now, Dean?”

Dean looks over at him and smiles softly, squeezing Sam’s hand where it lies out of sight from the house on the leather seat.

“We do what we always do, Sammy. We go in there with our game faces on and ready for whatever may come our way. It’s still you and me against the world, little brother. Just like it’s always been. I love you and I’ll take on _anyone_ that tries to come between us. I promise, baby boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it!
> 
> And if any of you are fans of Batman or wrestling, I should be getting a few stories out coming up soon, so keep an eye out! ;)


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